Page 1 of 1 [ 3 posts ]
02 Jun 2018, 2:37 pm
02 Jun 2018, 7:53 pm
Arevelion wrote:
"Let me give you some advice bastard. Never forget what you are. The rest of the world will not. Ware it like armor, and it can never be used to hurt you"
Tyrion Lannister
Sue Thompson knew me better than anyone even myself, even though we never met. Her papers and books on nonverbal learning disability (NLD), described my childhood almost perfectly without ever saying my name. Everything from my tantrums, from my struggles with math, to the inability to have an intimate relationship, even the struggles learning to tie my shoes was suddenly made sense. Here is one of those papers. http://www.ldonline.org/article/6114/ I no longer believed my own thoughts about myself. I internalized everything she said about me. I didn't know it at the time, but I had surrendered my identity to her. Considering the loneliness and poverty she predicted for me, it was not my first choice.
I tried to think of ways I could distinguish myself from other people with NLD. I thought perhaps my extreme tenacity would allow me to succeed in life where others failed. Nope. Sue said that we NLDers "are some of the most tenacious people she ever met." Yet they still ended up in poverty, being alone, or getting rapped.
I considered my propensity for hard work my separate me from the others. No. She explained that NLDers work hard. They are sometimes promoted to mangers for their hard work only to fail to manage people properly.
One final hope was my sobriety. Sue Thompson didn't mention drug use. Perhaps other NLDers become depressed and take to self-medication to feel better. To study this I headed strait to a NLD online forum.
Of the thirty people who posted there, two confessed to being alcoholics, everyone else consumed few or no drugs like myself. It was hardly a scientific study, but considering everyone else on the forum was also struggling I concluded that sobriety would not save me. Sue Thompson had covered everything. I had no choice but to accept the label she gave me as my true name. I had never really been Arevelion, I was always NLDer. Even in death she holds who I am in her hands. Whenever I need to know something about myself I check her papers first.
I do not regret it. She didn't solve all my problems, but she was one half of my critical life equation. Knowing who was the first step to finding my place in the world. The second step was to learn about everyone else, and that began with a simple board game.
I was diagnosed with Non-verbal learning disability in the eleventh grade. Non-verbal learning disability is exactly that. We have trouble with anything not verbal, which means everything around us must be clearly defined verbally to function, and the only tool we have in life is our words. We also tend to pursue all problems linearly and logically, and get disoriented by anything emotional or otherwise not logical. We also tend to have poor motor skills.The disorder is caused by missing white matter (aka mylin sheeth) in the right frontal lobe.
I understood the ramifications for my future. As we get older our lives become increasingly un-tethered as we are expected to make our own way, and we to preform to level the same level we speak. So we fail. Many with my disability end up underemployed, unemployed, being raped and above all being alone. So I analyzed the disability to death, and tried to find a career path in which my disability would not interfere, one where I would not require effective fine motor skills, visual spacial reasoning, non-verbal communication, adaptation to new or novel situations, decision making, planning, initiative, assigning priority, sequencing, motor control, emotional regulation, inhibition, problem solving, planning, impulse control, establishing goals, monitoring results of action, or self-correcting.
I failed. Certainly I had received advice. "Don't compare yourself to others." We are different from NTs so making comparisons make no sense but would make us sad. "Don't see yourself as a victim." Victims are not in control so lack the desire to improve their lives. The most important advice of all was "don't define yourself according to your label." To do so would be to limit yourself, and misunderstand who you are.
The advice failed.
The next thing I knew, I had graduated from collage and was living in my parents guest house watching episodes of Naruto, while my mother nagged me to get a job. I knew it was pointless to apply for jobs. I had no marketable skills, and my disability made it hard to learn them. Still I sent my scant resume to hundreds of companies, and did everything else my parents told me to concerning chores and the family business. I owed them, and besides that I would have been lost without their orders. We NLDers often get lost. Plop us in a new town, and even with a map it would be the same as dropping us in the open ocean without a compass. We are even more lost when we must talk with people.
Besides obeying orders, all I could do was sit and watch Naruto, until one day one of the characters mentioned a game called "Go."
Go? What was that?
I started with google. I read article after article, but couldn't comprehend what the game really was. Only it was from China and was quite possibly older than chess. It involved white and black stones, and shapes that surround space.
Space? Shapes? Was this a game that could train me not to get lost? Could I finally find direction in life if I played this game." I ordered a go computer program online, and started playing against my laptop. The game vexed me. In chess victory is clearly defined. You kill the king, but Go is harder to come to grips with. Here is the best I could come up with. Long ago someone came up with a game where you capture an opponent's stones by surrounding them. Over time, people learned to build shapes that could not be surrounded, and then later players became so skilled that they could look at a block of empty space know intuitively whether an invincible shape could be formed. From that day forward the object of Go was to capture territory. How do you know if you captured territory? You don't. If your opponent tries to take territory from with in and he/she fails then the territory is yours. Otherwise it's not. There are plenty of games that have been lost because an opponent could have taken territory, but didn't thinking it wasn't theirs. This game seemed designed to be the bane of my existence. I wanted to play it more.
The game, didn't help me with visual-spacial perception as I thought it would. I still don't always know why placing a stone on one place leads to victory many moves later. Still as I improved, I could feel the game having a strange effect on my brain. As I kept at it I learned something else just as important spacial awareness. Discipline. Sometimes I succumb to my aggression, and over expanded. Other times I was afraid, and would cower in a coroner of the board. It was only when I resisted my fear and aggression that I was able to consistently defeat the computer. The only thing I didn't understand was why I would I get that funny feeling in my brain. With a little reading I found out it was because Go pits the left and right frontal lobes against each other.
Wait. what? It was that moment that I realized that what Sue Thompson taught me about myself had been only half the equation.
I put the game away.
I ripped open my closet and dusted off all my old books about psychology and the brain. The whole I time I thought we NDLers were struggling only because of our flaws, but I failed to look at it from the other side. I failed to compare myself to NTs who at once cooperate with us NLDers as coworkers, and out compete us NLDers in the job market with their fully functioning right frontal lobes. Therefore my real opponent and companion was the right-frontal lobe of every NT on the planet.
If was going to beat this opponent then I was going to have to be on guard, and I was going to have to know everything about it and myself. My ability to research was limited, but a lucky brake would change that. My aunt got me a job at a neurological research lab at the Mayo clinic. It was a lab dedicated to the study of "demyninating" diseases, aka diseases that affected the "insulation" (mylin sheath) of nerve cells synapses, most notably multiple sclerosis. My job was to construct microscope slides of mouse spinal cord cross-sections. I would then take photographs of these cross sections so real scientist could study how the multiple sclerosis they had given them affected the nerve cells.
I did more than that however. I knew that if I was going to succeed in the world that I was going to have to learn to cooperate with NTs. I studied my coworkers and how they functioned. When I had a lull in my duties and saw someone else was overworked to the point of dizziness I would volunteer to take on their menial task. By the same token if I had to leave to catch a bus I would ask for someone else to finish up a task. The result was that a job that my employers were so impressed with my work that they extended my one month temporary position to two. In addition everyone was so impressed with my natural curiosity and my, linear, logical thinking that they thought medical research may be a great career path for me. Then I bungled up a basic lab procedure...repeatedly...yeah.
What really helped me in the long run was that I was surrounded by some of the most brilliant people on the planet, all dedicated to the study of the brain, and I got to ask them questions. When the job was over I had the information I needed on my opponent/companion. I got home and started contemplating.
The left frontal lobe process information verbally, so when it is in use you hear a toneless voice in your head. The right frontal lobe in contrast process information with feelings and pictures. If you do anything because, of your "gut instinct" or your "heart" then that means you are processing information though the right frontal lobe. Describing something can take a long time. Showing someone a picture can be much quicker. The right frontal lobe can also use this "big picture" approach to extrapolate seemingly unrelated information. This, along with the ability to take in a lot of information quickly, allows people with an intact right frontal to be more adaptable than NLDers. Plus fine motor skills are easier since NTs don't have to talk through their every movement.
The right frontal lobe does have a flaw however. It can absorb misinformation with same ease as it does real information, and unlike the left frontal lobe, which always states what it's doing, it is impossible to trace where the right frontal lobe gets its information. Something just feels right or feels wrong. The result is many possible congintive difficulties.
Proportionality bias, heard behavior, the gambler's fallacy. false pattern recognition, post rationalization, group think, false memories, and prejudice, are just a few of the ways a person can go wrong by listening to the feeling from their right frontal lobe. The worst part is that people often trust their "gut" aka right frontal lobe, unquestioningly. This is doubly dangerous for us NLDer because of our right frontal lobes are faulty, and yet I have no doubt that any NLDer reading this is thinking of the one time their instincts served them well, and would use that to insist their instincts are spot on. This is bad news for a lot of people, but I knew how to turn it into good news. If I could I ignore my feeling I could get into a career where intuition was a hindrance, and cold hard logic was vital, then I would finally be on turf where I could compete with the NTs.
If I could ignore my feelings. I was still human. Following one's heart is only natural for humans NLDer or not. Playing Go had improved my discipline, but emotional regulation was still an issue for me. I could still loose my temper. I could still succumb to fear. I didn't really know how well I could control myself if pushed. There was one thing I knew however. I had improved my ability to cooperate with NTs. It was time to focus on the competition part of dealing with them and I knew the exact game I wanted to beat them at.
Computers have trouble playing Go, since it's such an abstract games. The real test of a player's skill is against other humans. I found a website called flyordie.com that held online Go tournaments. Nothing professional level, but good enough to test my metal. I burned right through the beginner level matches, but I couldn't get past the mid level. Even so, I had some matches that I am very proud of. One match I was baring down on my opponent, pushing him/her father and father down the board. I was itching to thrust my opponent on to the ropes, but at the last second I forced myself to pull back. My opponent saw the opening, and thrust upwards. Big mistake. My opponent got over extended and I seized some the unguarded territory. I made the opening so I myself would not be over extended.
Another match had me constantly pulling back with my opponent baring down on me like a bear. I was nervous, but I kept my cool. Even though I was falling back I was leaving behind stones at strategic points. When I was up against the wall I connected them and surrounded my charging opponent. Victory. The details differed, but my strategy was always the same. Keep my cool as best I could and wait for the enemy to cower, or get over extended. It had limits. I didn't win any championships, but considering I was beating at a game perfectly designed to vex me, I think I had reason to be proud.
I had finally put the two parts of the equation together, and developed a comprehensive strategy to move forward, all I needed was a career, and thanks to a book called, "the big short" and...some...inheritance...>>
<<
I would finally have the direction I needed. Spoiler alert: The big short is about the 2008 finical crisis and in it a guy with Aspergers bet against the housing market and made millions. Aspergers isn't exactly the same as NLD, but it's close enough that I could draw inspiration. I wasn't eager to jump into home loans, but my wife suggested day trading. It was perfect.
Day trading involves clicking a mouse, which requires little motor skills. It does not involve visual spacial reasoning, because you stare at a computer. It does not require non-verbal communication as traders never meet the people they trade is. It does require some adaptation to new or novel situations, since things change fast, but somethings can be left to the computer which is faster than any human. Day trading does involve decision making, planning, initiative, and assigning priority but playing Go had made me better at that. The need for motor control is virtually non existent.
Some things that day trading does require is linear, logical, reasoning, pouring over reams of facts in figures, and staunch discipline. In other words, it's a job made for NLDers except for one critical issue. Emotional regulation. Keeping my cool during a friendly Go game is one thing, but staying calm when real money was on the line. That's hard for anyone who isn't made of steal. Still I decided to take the plunge.
Though it doesn't feel like it when your trading, it is a competition. One trader's gain is someone else's loss. Indeed 80% of day traders loose money on their first year. No doubt at least some of the day traders, if not most of them would would be NTs, and I would be going head to head with them. This would be the true test of the strategy I devised.
If I could just end the year one cent in the profit then I could honestly say I was beating hundreds if not thousands of NTs at the stock trading game. I researched my stocks, I programmed my computer, and rolled the dice over and over ...just like I rolled the dice on Sue Thompson.
My first few trades made money, but I soon ran into a problem. My feelings. The same discipline I had playing Go, collapsed when real money was at stake. When I saw a stock I owned sinking I would quickly sell, only to see rise up again. If I saw a stock rising I would impulsively buy in hopes of getting a profit before it peaked which I usially didn't. The stocks were destroying me, making me a nervous wreck during market hours and making me depressed and broken at night.
But but I had a plan. Realizing that I was destroying myself, I would program the computer to buy stocks if the began to go up, and then sell the stock if certain conditions were met. Then I would turn the computer off, and walk away. It didn't fail
Since I started the year I have made over $9,000. Pocket change, but enough to supplement my part time job, and enough to say that for once, I am out competing them. I control my greed and I control my fear well enough to gain. It seems some of my NT opponents are listening to their right frontal lobe. I got my left frontal lobe, and that's all I need. Thanks to Sue Thompson's help I was finally able to understand myself, and by observing others I finally understood where I excel.
My name is not Arevelion. It's NLDer.
Tyrion Lannister
Sue Thompson knew me better than anyone even myself, even though we never met. Her papers and books on nonverbal learning disability (NLD), described my childhood almost perfectly without ever saying my name. Everything from my tantrums, from my struggles with math, to the inability to have an intimate relationship, even the struggles learning to tie my shoes was suddenly made sense. Here is one of those papers. http://www.ldonline.org/article/6114/ I no longer believed my own thoughts about myself. I internalized everything she said about me. I didn't know it at the time, but I had surrendered my identity to her. Considering the loneliness and poverty she predicted for me, it was not my first choice.
I tried to think of ways I could distinguish myself from other people with NLD. I thought perhaps my extreme tenacity would allow me to succeed in life where others failed. Nope. Sue said that we NLDers "are some of the most tenacious people she ever met." Yet they still ended up in poverty, being alone, or getting rapped.
I considered my propensity for hard work my separate me from the others. No. She explained that NLDers work hard. They are sometimes promoted to mangers for their hard work only to fail to manage people properly.
One final hope was my sobriety. Sue Thompson didn't mention drug use. Perhaps other NLDers become depressed and take to self-medication to feel better. To study this I headed strait to a NLD online forum.
Of the thirty people who posted there, two confessed to being alcoholics, everyone else consumed few or no drugs like myself. It was hardly a scientific study, but considering everyone else on the forum was also struggling I concluded that sobriety would not save me. Sue Thompson had covered everything. I had no choice but to accept the label she gave me as my true name. I had never really been Arevelion, I was always NLDer. Even in death she holds who I am in her hands. Whenever I need to know something about myself I check her papers first.
I do not regret it. She didn't solve all my problems, but she was one half of my critical life equation. Knowing who was the first step to finding my place in the world. The second step was to learn about everyone else, and that began with a simple board game.
I was diagnosed with Non-verbal learning disability in the eleventh grade. Non-verbal learning disability is exactly that. We have trouble with anything not verbal, which means everything around us must be clearly defined verbally to function, and the only tool we have in life is our words. We also tend to pursue all problems linearly and logically, and get disoriented by anything emotional or otherwise not logical. We also tend to have poor motor skills.The disorder is caused by missing white matter (aka mylin sheeth) in the right frontal lobe.
I understood the ramifications for my future. As we get older our lives become increasingly un-tethered as we are expected to make our own way, and we to preform to level the same level we speak. So we fail. Many with my disability end up underemployed, unemployed, being raped and above all being alone. So I analyzed the disability to death, and tried to find a career path in which my disability would not interfere, one where I would not require effective fine motor skills, visual spacial reasoning, non-verbal communication, adaptation to new or novel situations, decision making, planning, initiative, assigning priority, sequencing, motor control, emotional regulation, inhibition, problem solving, planning, impulse control, establishing goals, monitoring results of action, or self-correcting.
I failed. Certainly I had received advice. "Don't compare yourself to others." We are different from NTs so making comparisons make no sense but would make us sad. "Don't see yourself as a victim." Victims are not in control so lack the desire to improve their lives. The most important advice of all was "don't define yourself according to your label." To do so would be to limit yourself, and misunderstand who you are.
The advice failed.
The next thing I knew, I had graduated from collage and was living in my parents guest house watching episodes of Naruto, while my mother nagged me to get a job. I knew it was pointless to apply for jobs. I had no marketable skills, and my disability made it hard to learn them. Still I sent my scant resume to hundreds of companies, and did everything else my parents told me to concerning chores and the family business. I owed them, and besides that I would have been lost without their orders. We NLDers often get lost. Plop us in a new town, and even with a map it would be the same as dropping us in the open ocean without a compass. We are even more lost when we must talk with people.
Besides obeying orders, all I could do was sit and watch Naruto, until one day one of the characters mentioned a game called "Go."
Go? What was that?
I started with google. I read article after article, but couldn't comprehend what the game really was. Only it was from China and was quite possibly older than chess. It involved white and black stones, and shapes that surround space.
Space? Shapes? Was this a game that could train me not to get lost? Could I finally find direction in life if I played this game." I ordered a go computer program online, and started playing against my laptop. The game vexed me. In chess victory is clearly defined. You kill the king, but Go is harder to come to grips with. Here is the best I could come up with. Long ago someone came up with a game where you capture an opponent's stones by surrounding them. Over time, people learned to build shapes that could not be surrounded, and then later players became so skilled that they could look at a block of empty space know intuitively whether an invincible shape could be formed. From that day forward the object of Go was to capture territory. How do you know if you captured territory? You don't. If your opponent tries to take territory from with in and he/she fails then the territory is yours. Otherwise it's not. There are plenty of games that have been lost because an opponent could have taken territory, but didn't thinking it wasn't theirs. This game seemed designed to be the bane of my existence. I wanted to play it more.
The game, didn't help me with visual-spacial perception as I thought it would. I still don't always know why placing a stone on one place leads to victory many moves later. Still as I improved, I could feel the game having a strange effect on my brain. As I kept at it I learned something else just as important spacial awareness. Discipline. Sometimes I succumb to my aggression, and over expanded. Other times I was afraid, and would cower in a coroner of the board. It was only when I resisted my fear and aggression that I was able to consistently defeat the computer. The only thing I didn't understand was why I would I get that funny feeling in my brain. With a little reading I found out it was because Go pits the left and right frontal lobes against each other.
Wait. what? It was that moment that I realized that what Sue Thompson taught me about myself had been only half the equation.
I put the game away.
I ripped open my closet and dusted off all my old books about psychology and the brain. The whole I time I thought we NDLers were struggling only because of our flaws, but I failed to look at it from the other side. I failed to compare myself to NTs who at once cooperate with us NLDers as coworkers, and out compete us NLDers in the job market with their fully functioning right frontal lobes. Therefore my real opponent and companion was the right-frontal lobe of every NT on the planet.
If was going to beat this opponent then I was going to have to be on guard, and I was going to have to know everything about it and myself. My ability to research was limited, but a lucky brake would change that. My aunt got me a job at a neurological research lab at the Mayo clinic. It was a lab dedicated to the study of "demyninating" diseases, aka diseases that affected the "insulation" (mylin sheath) of nerve cells synapses, most notably multiple sclerosis. My job was to construct microscope slides of mouse spinal cord cross-sections. I would then take photographs of these cross sections so real scientist could study how the multiple sclerosis they had given them affected the nerve cells.
I did more than that however. I knew that if I was going to succeed in the world that I was going to have to learn to cooperate with NTs. I studied my coworkers and how they functioned. When I had a lull in my duties and saw someone else was overworked to the point of dizziness I would volunteer to take on their menial task. By the same token if I had to leave to catch a bus I would ask for someone else to finish up a task. The result was that a job that my employers were so impressed with my work that they extended my one month temporary position to two. In addition everyone was so impressed with my natural curiosity and my, linear, logical thinking that they thought medical research may be a great career path for me. Then I bungled up a basic lab procedure...repeatedly...yeah.
What really helped me in the long run was that I was surrounded by some of the most brilliant people on the planet, all dedicated to the study of the brain, and I got to ask them questions. When the job was over I had the information I needed on my opponent/companion. I got home and started contemplating.
The left frontal lobe process information verbally, so when it is in use you hear a toneless voice in your head. The right frontal lobe in contrast process information with feelings and pictures. If you do anything because, of your "gut instinct" or your "heart" then that means you are processing information though the right frontal lobe. Describing something can take a long time. Showing someone a picture can be much quicker. The right frontal lobe can also use this "big picture" approach to extrapolate seemingly unrelated information. This, along with the ability to take in a lot of information quickly, allows people with an intact right frontal to be more adaptable than NLDers. Plus fine motor skills are easier since NTs don't have to talk through their every movement.
The right frontal lobe does have a flaw however. It can absorb misinformation with same ease as it does real information, and unlike the left frontal lobe, which always states what it's doing, it is impossible to trace where the right frontal lobe gets its information. Something just feels right or feels wrong. The result is many possible congintive difficulties.
Proportionality bias, heard behavior, the gambler's fallacy. false pattern recognition, post rationalization, group think, false memories, and prejudice, are just a few of the ways a person can go wrong by listening to the feeling from their right frontal lobe. The worst part is that people often trust their "gut" aka right frontal lobe, unquestioningly. This is doubly dangerous for us NLDer because of our right frontal lobes are faulty, and yet I have no doubt that any NLDer reading this is thinking of the one time their instincts served them well, and would use that to insist their instincts are spot on. This is bad news for a lot of people, but I knew how to turn it into good news. If I could I ignore my feeling I could get into a career where intuition was a hindrance, and cold hard logic was vital, then I would finally be on turf where I could compete with the NTs.
If I could ignore my feelings. I was still human. Following one's heart is only natural for humans NLDer or not. Playing Go had improved my discipline, but emotional regulation was still an issue for me. I could still loose my temper. I could still succumb to fear. I didn't really know how well I could control myself if pushed. There was one thing I knew however. I had improved my ability to cooperate with NTs. It was time to focus on the competition part of dealing with them and I knew the exact game I wanted to beat them at.
Computers have trouble playing Go, since it's such an abstract games. The real test of a player's skill is against other humans. I found a website called flyordie.com that held online Go tournaments. Nothing professional level, but good enough to test my metal. I burned right through the beginner level matches, but I couldn't get past the mid level. Even so, I had some matches that I am very proud of. One match I was baring down on my opponent, pushing him/her father and father down the board. I was itching to thrust my opponent on to the ropes, but at the last second I forced myself to pull back. My opponent saw the opening, and thrust upwards. Big mistake. My opponent got over extended and I seized some the unguarded territory. I made the opening so I myself would not be over extended.
Another match had me constantly pulling back with my opponent baring down on me like a bear. I was nervous, but I kept my cool. Even though I was falling back I was leaving behind stones at strategic points. When I was up against the wall I connected them and surrounded my charging opponent. Victory. The details differed, but my strategy was always the same. Keep my cool as best I could and wait for the enemy to cower, or get over extended. It had limits. I didn't win any championships, but considering I was beating at a game perfectly designed to vex me, I think I had reason to be proud.
I had finally put the two parts of the equation together, and developed a comprehensive strategy to move forward, all I needed was a career, and thanks to a book called, "the big short" and...some...inheritance...>>
<<
I would finally have the direction I needed. Spoiler alert: The big short is about the 2008 finical crisis and in it a guy with Aspergers bet against the housing market and made millions. Aspergers isn't exactly the same as NLD, but it's close enough that I could draw inspiration. I wasn't eager to jump into home loans, but my wife suggested day trading. It was perfect.
Day trading involves clicking a mouse, which requires little motor skills. It does not involve visual spacial reasoning, because you stare at a computer. It does not require non-verbal communication as traders never meet the people they trade is. It does require some adaptation to new or novel situations, since things change fast, but somethings can be left to the computer which is faster than any human. Day trading does involve decision making, planning, initiative, and assigning priority but playing Go had made me better at that. The need for motor control is virtually non existent.
Some things that day trading does require is linear, logical, reasoning, pouring over reams of facts in figures, and staunch discipline. In other words, it's a job made for NLDers except for one critical issue. Emotional regulation. Keeping my cool during a friendly Go game is one thing, but staying calm when real money was on the line. That's hard for anyone who isn't made of steal. Still I decided to take the plunge.
Though it doesn't feel like it when your trading, it is a competition. One trader's gain is someone else's loss. Indeed 80% of day traders loose money on their first year. No doubt at least some of the day traders, if not most of them would would be NTs, and I would be going head to head with them. This would be the true test of the strategy I devised.
If I could just end the year one cent in the profit then I could honestly say I was beating hundreds if not thousands of NTs at the stock trading game. I researched my stocks, I programmed my computer, and rolled the dice over and over ...just like I rolled the dice on Sue Thompson.
My first few trades made money, but I soon ran into a problem. My feelings. The same discipline I had playing Go, collapsed when real money was at stake. When I saw a stock I owned sinking I would quickly sell, only to see rise up again. If I saw a stock rising I would impulsively buy in hopes of getting a profit before it peaked which I usially didn't. The stocks were destroying me, making me a nervous wreck during market hours and making me depressed and broken at night.
But but I had a plan. Realizing that I was destroying myself, I would program the computer to buy stocks if the began to go up, and then sell the stock if certain conditions were met. Then I would turn the computer off, and walk away. It didn't fail
Since I started the year I have made over $9,000. Pocket change, but enough to supplement my part time job, and enough to say that for once, I am out competing them. I control my greed and I control my fear well enough to gain. It seems some of my NT opponents are listening to their right frontal lobe. I got my left frontal lobe, and that's all I need. Thanks to Sue Thompson's help I was finally able to understand myself, and by observing others I finally understood where I excel.
My name is not Arevelion. It's NLDer.
This post is fantastic. Really a gold mine and hope people read it and hear what you are saying.
03 Jun 2018, 8:08 pm
