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DragonXI
Emu Egg
Emu Egg

Joined: 27 Mar 2018
Gender: Male
Posts: 4
Location: Brazil

09 Jun 2018, 4:49 pm

Hi everyone, even if I'm just a neurotipical, I think ... I need your help a lot, I have an aspie girlfriend, and sometimes I have a lot of problems that make me feel a bit paranoid mentally, and I end up getting very disconnected, no I say it is a shutdown equal to an aspie, I do not know how to explain it, but I know that it directly affects her and she ends up hanging up and it's pretty good because I do not know what to do or how to act, so please help me to know what I really do in those hours that she turns off, because I get very agonized not knowing how to act, I just get caught and without reaction even though I do not leave close to her, whom I can help, thank you very much. :oops:



Nira
Snowy Owl
Snowy Owl

Joined: 6 Jan 2018
Age: 34
Gender: Female
Posts: 149

10 Jun 2018, 3:22 am

Hi, for me is better let me for a while alone when I turn off.

If you cause it, that she turns off, maybe you should first solve your problems.


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Zachwashere
Raven
Raven

User avatar

Joined: 18 Apr 2018
Gender: Male
Posts: 120
Location: Somewhere in Texas

10 Jun 2018, 1:16 pm

A shutdown, at least for me, happens when there is just to much going on and it gets overwhelming. There is a lot more conscious thought that goes into everything for us on the spectrum, even when it comes to things that would normally be autonomous for NTs. For instance, how many times do you think consciously about what facial expression you should exhibit when someone is talking to you? Or better yet, how many times do you need to actively try and decipher if the person you are talking to just smiled or grimaced?

All of the extra effort that I need to put into day-to-day things takes a tole sometimes and as a result, my energy reserves are all but depleted, causing me to shutdown. The best thing you could do to help your girlfriend when she goes into a shutdown is to let her rest. Trying to re-engage her or bring her out of the shutdown would just worsen it.


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"The only way to live in an un-free world is to become so absolutely free that your very existance is an act of rebelian." - Albert Camus