room full of people
I'm curious how many people on here find being in a room full of people lonelier than being in a room by yourself?
For the most part, I am unable to start conversations, and for some odd reason, nobody will start a conversation with me. In the end, I talk to as many people when the room is full as I do when I am the only one in the room, nobody. At least when I am by myself, I am not wondering why nobody will talk to me.
_________________
I finally found an avatar.
I can relate to this. I'm usually just there, rather than being an active participant. Admittedly it can be lonely/frustrating watching everyone else hit it of while I'm stuck where I am trying to deal with all of the sensory input that comes with being in a room full of other people.
_________________
"The only way to live in an un-free world is to become so absolutely free that your very existance is an act of rebelian." - Albert Camus
I definitely do feel lonelier in a room full of people than I do in a room by myself. I feel that way even more so when the people in the room know me but completely ignore me. I have tried be polite and say hello but it is always awkward. I have pretty much given up on people that act like that.
nick007
Veteran
Joined: 4 May 2010
Age: 41
Gender: Male
Posts: 27,132
Location: was Louisiana but now Vermont in the police state called USA
I just feel anxious & keep to myself due to having lots of problems when trying to engage in conversation.
_________________
"I don't have an anger problem, I have an idiot problem!"
"Hear all, trust nothing"
https://memory-alpha.fandom.com/wiki/Ru ... cquisition
It really depends on what those people are doing and what the expectations on me are.
If we're playing organised games, great. If I'm not expected to interact with them, it's basically OK. But if I'm expected to mingle and make small talk, it's awful.
_________________
Level 1 Autism Spectrum Disorder / Asperger's Syndrome.
When I am alone I don't feel different, because I have no one to compare with. I find some activity and I am satisfied.
When I am between other people, I see how I can't fit in, I don't know how to start talk with other people and people don't start talk with me and I don't know why.
I like too playing games. It has some rules and when I know what to do I am happy.
_________________
Sorry for my bad english. English isn't my native language.
A room full of people is an auditory nightmare for me and many others here . For me , I hear all the peoples voices at pretty much the same level so It's really hard to have a conversation with that much input . Plus , I have little need for small talk because I find it so predictable , intrusive and BORING . Recently , I was at a good friends house for dinner with his family . There were multiple conversations at the table , which is like listening to two radios tuned to different stations , the TV was on in the next room , a dog was barking in the back room and the grandchildren were shrieking with joy outside . It was an absolute nightmare and I had to leave early claiming that I had a severe headache . I did actually but it was an audio head ache , if that makes sense .
It depends who the people are and what part of room I end up in. If I end up near a particularly talkative person I don't feel lonely at all - I can join the conversation (so me and the talkative person + maybe 1 more dominate the conversation) and have fun. The problem starts when people around me are not talkative and/or there is a few groups talking about something I am not interested in or the noise level doesn't let me hear them. Or when there are two or more overly talkative people, leaving no room for me to butt in.
BTW. I got to practice it every other week or so - I am an extra in soap operas as my part time job and pretty much every time I end up in a room full of strangers (my prosopagnosia makes it so even if I know a few of them), waiting for our turn (it can last up to 10 hours straight, usually about 6h with some breaks for acting). I am usually silent at start but I become one of the most talkative people later on, once I find another talkative one or figure out what to talk about with normies around. People also join conversations with me because I am interesting person that happens to be quite bold too.
For example recently I was killing time playing solitaire with real cards and soon quite a few people gathered around me, watching and asking where I learned that one and if it is the type of solitaire you can ask questions to (it was, but I don't believe that "power", I play it for fun). I could easily offer them to ask questions to the cards or to play a card game with me but I happened to be happy on my own - and probably watching me was interesting enough for them too because the solitaire was quite complex one and different from the ones you usually find in the computer.
Another time someone (well, that "someone" was apparently a famous actress everyone was too embarrassed to talk to but I didn't know her) commented "So many people here and noone talks, everyone is on their phone" and I was the one who "broke the ice", by saying "I will start talking once my phone runs out of battery power." - a lot of people laughed and a few of them joined the conversation afterwards, which lasted another 30 mins, till the actress got called and the discussion died again.
I may not be good at starting conversations but I can keep one going if there is a good partner.
For the most part, I am unable to start conversations, and for some odd reason, nobody will start a conversation with me. In the end, I talk to as many people when the room is full as I do when I am the only one in the room, nobody. At least when I am by myself, I am not wondering why nobody will talk to me.
Yes, yes, and yes. Absolutely relatable!
At a party, for example, i am the one standing in the corner and just observing people getting more and more drunk with each minute that passes. Whenever i am brave enough to talk to someone, i tend to say something weird within the first minutes that makes the whole conversation too awkward to continue. I sometimes even want to join the small talk (which i absolutely abhor), and add something odd that goes over everyone's head. In each of those cases the conversation is over right away.
As for the part of them not wanting to start a conversation with me, they mostly don't know what to talk about, because they only have superficial knowledge about the things i am mostly into
Long story short, i mostly feel lonely around people
_________________
I am a Michael Keaton lookalike, apparently
The ability to focus on the person talking to you and block other sounds or voices is called the "cocktail party effect." I experience the opposite of this as well. I have found earplugs help a lot in blocking most of the noises and voices around me so that I can focus on the person talking to me. Doesn't always work, but it helps.
_________________
I finally found an avatar.
I hate being in a full room of people, I find it really uncomfortable and it makes me feel like I am being shoved against a wall with no way out. I hate busy and crowded places in general and I would much rather prefer being in a room by myself. I would feel lonely, but then again I prefer quiet more than loud noises......
Similar Topics | |
---|---|
What do people expect people of a certain age to look like? |
29 Feb 2024, 9:19 pm |
Any linux people can help me? |
16 Feb 2024, 10:05 am |
Does it seem like autistic people are more likely to not.... |
20 Feb 2024, 11:53 pm |
How Many People Are Here These Days? |
18 Apr 2024, 12:50 pm |