What are/were meltdowns like for you?

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Although I almost never experience meltdowns anymore due to some medications I'm taking, I remember what they were like. Preventing them was hard, for they were often unpredictable with little to no warning signs beforehand. However, there were some notable triggers, such as frustration, fear, or sensory overload. I had absolutely no control over them.

The actual meltdowns typically included screaming and crying, occasionally with violence (only when I was young; later meltdowns did not include this). The crying was typically extremely loud and often included high-pitched shrieks. If you took me as a baby to the baby-crying festivals in Japan, I probably would have been a champion. The worst part of a meltdown is not the "resistance" phase, but the "recovery" phase.

The "recovery" phase is when you are too exhausted to further resist a perceived threat. During that phase, I would feel absolutely embarrassed and ashamed. At that point, I would usually need alone time, and if this need was not met, there was a chance the meltdown would restart. I would also seek something of interest like an electronic device, but unfortunately, this was often taken away because of the meltdown or otherwise inaccessible.

What are/were your meltdowns like?

I had LOTS of meltdowns when I lived with my parents. My parents would get on my back about stuff usually like pushing me to do better in skewl(I struggled majorly due to dyslexia & other related learning disabilities) shortly after I got home from it & was burnt out & stressed to the limit & needed the rest of the day to wind down. Or mom would get on my case about me being too dependent & not working & still living with them as an adult. I would just get very angry & snap & yell & curse them out & slam doors & I tried to run away sometimes as a kid. I'd usually calm down after I was left alone for abit & I'd end up feeling horrible but I felt like my parents should of known better than to push me the way they were so I stayed mad at them for a while. As a kid I would also usually get punished after by having my TV or vid-game systems taken away for a while. Things are aLOT better now that I moved in with my girlfriend & am on meds.

I would scream, cry, and hurt myself in some way. Afterward, I might cry for a while longer, and feel embarrassed and ashamed, like you. I'd usually feel numb for the rest of the day, and have a headache from the crying.

My sister had epic meltdowns when we were kids. The funny thing is, I don't remember having meltdowns as a kid, I remember withdrawing when I was upset. I guess I did have meltdowns to some degree frequently though since my Mom told me how as a grade school child I frequently received what she referred to as my "after school spanking". It was the 1970s back then and things were different than they are now.

We both agreed later in life that school was so draining for me and I didn't have any release while at school that the mask came off when I came home.

Thankfully I don't have many meltdowns now which is good since I'm a parent and a husband. I can give an example of one fairly recently though:

I consider my home to be my sanctuary from the outside world. It's my place of respite. I know where everything is (unless my wife moves something on me) and it's the place above all others where I'm generally least stressed. When something happens in the home (e.g. mechanical breakdown) that requires attention and upsets the order, I get very stressed. I'm also not good at making snap decisions under stress. My mind freezes. One day my wife was gone and I was home with the kids. At some point I heard some water running or something in the "kid's" bathrrom, walked over to it and notices that the toilet had overflowed and there was about 4" of standing water which had filled up the entire bathroom floor. It had been like that for a few hours. I melted down. Yelling, barking orders, pounding my fists against the wall - furious. I called my wife in a panic and asked her to come home immediately. There was potential for flooring in two adjacent rooms and the hallway being damaged beyond repair not to mention figuring out how to get the water out immediately. It was bad. I apologized to the kids afterward and felt very bad about how I'd reacted.

A lot of what happens with me is more pre-meltdown kind of stuff. I'll worry or get agitated about something and my wife will give me perspective and tell me: "It's ok. it's going to be ok." Or one of my kids: "Dad, don't worry about it.".....Even though I might still be stewing internally, that's usually enough to help me calm down.