Meltdowns have got to be the worst symptom for me...

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Meltdowns have completely ruined my life. As a child they tried everything to stop them, even putting me in special classes that did not work. Nobody understands the lack of control involved. Nowadays my relatives use them as a means of making me feel bad and I've even lost housing because others cannot deal with me loosing emotional control. Lack of social skills? I had extensive therapy, I can have a very pleasant and appropriate conversation with another person. Special interests? Most people see it as a positive thing. The meltdowns are unbearable however.

Are you having one today?

Yes... But the hurt is not knowing if they are being caused by an autism disorder or some other disorder... Whatever the cause my bipolar meds don't touch them...

What drives them primarily? (Physical pain, adverse memories, anxiety, other or unknown?)

This is a long shot, but have you tried CBD oil? That's the non-hallucinogenic extract from hemp or marijuana, which
mimics endocannabinoids that are found all over the body. It is used for seizures, and some people find it helpful to take a few drops when they feel a meltdown coming on. You put it under your tongue and it is absorbed very quickly.

Ironically there is some in the house because my uncle takes it but I never tried it myself. Anyway they are brought on by strong negative emotions or anxiety.

If you don't mind my asking, what does it feel like for you when you have a meltdown? I don't know if I've ever had one; I tend to have shutdowns instead.

Generally, that can be helped through tactics such as reflecting on the emotion and determining why you are feeling it, and what you are feeling and working on your brains first reaction becoming reflection instead of action. If you feel one coming on, try to distract yourself from it using a simple activity you enjoy, and as you calm down reflect on it. Try to have a plan in place especially when you know a place is likely to be a trigger, so that you can escape and calm down.

The idea with reflecting on it as I said, is placing a barrier between yourself and the emotion,while addressing it. It can take time and practice to do this effectively.

I hope this helps

I know what you mean, Angnix.

Though I'm fortunate not to have meltdowns often (and I'm not even sure if they are proper meltdowns, I call them freakouts), they are the worst thing about my ASD - because every other issue has some kind of strategy or work-around I can use, but the freakouts are completely out of my control.

I find almost any little frustration can trigger one, if I've been under stress. Things build up until a freakout is inevitable. Just one of those things.

My suggestion is to do what you can to get plenty of sleep, relaxation time, and a healthy diet, and try to be easy on yourself.

I've had the distraction suggestion suggested to me many times. The doc is talking about DBT therapy... Ironically a few years ago I was sent to therapists that were supposed to put me in a DBT group and these therapists concluded instead I had an ASD and needed therapy for that instead but the doc didn't like it and sent me to another DBT group where I attended a few sessions but ended up having another meltdown so bad I ended up in the psych ward and being forced out of the group for "not attending" I found it hard to try to apply DBT technique to everyday life.

And shutdowns... Happened a couple of times to me in situations where I suppressed the explosion... Became temporrarally non-verbal.

I imagine trying not to have a meltdown in your family of origin is a little like trying to put up a tent in a hurricane, but what do I know?

I understand the hook though. Humans are drawn to the familiar. The unknown is scary. If your family of origin is dysfunctional, then that is the familiar.

1 thing that helped manage meltdowns was keeping a “trigger diary” which I used to try & identify possible causes & then brainstormed possible solutions from there.

Having a plan is excellent advice. Be prepared.