I was diagnosed with ADHD at 5 and AS at 7, and again later on. In the past six months, this has been very much thrown into suspicion.
My Depression went away with biofeedback and medication. With that gone, it's been like a fog has lifted. I feel so much better socially etc. My CBT therapist doesn't think I have autism, despite having some of the traits - just not enough for a diagnosis. Very much ADHD though. And I agree. I also score in the low 20s on the AQ test repeatedly, and in the mid-80s on the RAADs test repeatedly. But I can't stop obsessing over this - I go back and forth between agreeing with her and hardly thinking about it and obsessing over it (usually triggered by something happening).
I have no issues with systemizing or needing routine (i'm very much not routine/order) and no issues with sensory problems. I have lots of friends actually, and while in the moment I might not be socially in tune with anyone or everyone, I can, in a general sense, understand broader social problems, drama, and politics. I understand how to act and how not to act, even if I often act as if I don't. Its other factors beyond understanding that lead to this.
What holds me back is that I still have problems with social communication. Awkward pauses in convo where I don't what to say. Making it super hard to relate or converse with some people, or sometimes in groups. Some other people I hit it off and its great. And my conversations aren't special interested related (i don't have that really). Also looking back at my childhood, up until i was around 17-18 and went off meds and went to college I was very much textbook aspie. Since then a bunch of systems have gone away, especially in the last six months.
What are your thoughts?
15 Sep 2018, 4:23 pm
