Questions by NTs when caught stimming

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SplendidSnail
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13 Sep 2018, 6:47 pm

So today at work, I was asked by a co-worker why I was pulling out my eyelash, and he made a comment that if I keep doing that, I won't have any eyelashes left. The comment wasn't in any way intended to in any way be malicious, and he's right - by pulling my eyebrows and eyelashes out, I have made them look kind of funny.

I made some joking comment about that it's because of all the stress there is at work, which is more or less true - I do stim more when under more stress.

It's not the first time I've had this awkward kind of situation, but it did get me thinking: how do other people respond when people catch them in the act of stimming and ask questions about it?


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Arganger
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13 Sep 2018, 8:06 pm

For me most people ignore it unless I am doing something like spinning while pacing, or am in an emergency situation and using self-harmful stims (Biting, scratching myself).


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kraftiekortie
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13 Sep 2018, 8:08 pm

Most people wouldn't think this is "stimming" in an "autistic" sense. I wouldn't worry about it. At worst, it would be thought of as "fidgeting"



Redxk
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16 Sep 2018, 4:56 pm

I used to flap/rub my hands over my nipples. Someone pointed out that I was doing it and that it could be taken as sexually suggestive. I was very embarrassed and have been able to stop doing it.



nick007
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17 Sep 2018, 3:52 am

I just make up an excuse like you did OP & if I cant think of a good one quick, I may say I have ADD. it is technically true & people with AD[H]D tend to have some stimming/fidgeting behavior. My dad has ADD & stims some like by tapping his fingers alot.


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Strangelittlegirl
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17 Sep 2018, 7:34 am

Heh, my daughter caught me stimming this morning. We were in the car in front of the school and I just started rubbing my hands together rhythmically - without thinking about it of course. She stopped and looked and me and goes: "Mom, what are doing?"

I just said the obvious. "Rubbing my hands together. I just like it." Then I did it to the beat of the song.

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BookwormSophie
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17 Sep 2018, 1:03 pm

I am not sure if this is a healthy way to stim, but I stim by picking my nails and biting them. More often than not I just pick them. It just comes across as a nasty habit. Lots of people have that habit. So I don’t get any questions. Sometimes I think I would rather have a more obvious stim, like rubbing my hands together, so I could have nice fingernails and stop getting ingrown toenails.



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18 Sep 2018, 2:17 am

nick007 wrote:
I just make up an excuse like you did OP & if I cant think of a good one quick, I may say I have ADD. it is technically true & people with AD[H]D tend to have some stimming/fidgeting behavior. My dad has ADD & stims some like by tapping his fingers alot.


Funny you should say that.
I got caught out today, I was standing on a job site watching the guys working, and someone asked me to stop fidgeting. Apparently I'd been swaying backwards and forwards without realising and was making him feel seasick!

I just said the first thing that came to mind and told him I have ADHD.
But afterwards I felt a bit dishonest, because as far as I know I don't have ADHD, only ASD. For some reason, my mind had jumped to ADHD as being a more acceptable explanation.

It was probably a good call, actually, because he went on to tell me how he didn't believe things like ADHD are real conditions, that we shouldn't be babying modern kids by inventing all these disorders and it should just be called fidgeting.
So who knows what he would have thought/said if I'd told him I was autistic.