Death, aging, dying

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This is an offshoot of the born/not born thread (which I don't want to answer)

What are your thoughts on death?

I am not afraid of death.
I should say, "I am not afraid to stop living."

The *only* thing that could possibly be frightening is the fear of being "punished" or being reborn.
The physical act of dying is not troubling.
It would likely be a relief, unless it was sudden and violent.

I am not a religious person per se, but at confused times do have concerns re: Hell etc.
People in prison, in War, and other life threatening crisis "find religion."
I have been there - I do not turn to The Bible or Religion in terms of customs and readings in a literal sense, but do wonder philosophically about religious concepts.

I feel that what I am living (PHYSICALLY & MENTALLY shackled/bound) by is the absolute most imprisoning thing there could be - is there another realm of suffering even greater that we can not yet conceive?
That is my *Hell* concern.

I don't want to die per se, but have been really thinking a lot lately whether this entire charade is even worth continuing/
I am getting tired and my body is aging.

I am afraid of being old more than I am of not being here...
Finally, I curse "God" for my troubles, my experience, my living.
Why was this "done" to me. I did not ask to be born.
I feel guilty or afraid for cursing God, but then I relieve myself by saying "If God does exist then God "knows" my true spirit and that my cursing is born of frustration and terror, surely I will be "forgiven.""

I am going mad

When I was getting bullied as a child, I was eternally optimistic about my future as I was doing well academically. I didn't focus too much on the negatives of my then-present situation, and instead dreamed of the endless possibilities of adulthood.

Not knowing anything about autism, I thought that I would grow up to be just like every other normal adult and eventually have more friends as my peers became more mature.

In many ways, my adulthood is just as lonely as my childhood was. I know that as I get older, it becomes more and more painful to think about all the things I have missed out on because of AS.

Last edited by Molecular_Biologist on 19 Jun 2010, 9:14 pm, edited 1 time in total.

I see death as final peace, sanctuary, home, especially when things get rough.

No god, no hope or any kind of religious salvation needed or believed in - peace of final oblivion is all I want in the end.

I think there is something worse; its NOT being physically or mentally shackled/bound, and STILL failing at life. I maybe socially awkward and alone for the rest of my life, but at least I know its because of my mind's constraints rather than a series of bad choices.

pency, I recommend that you crack open a Bible and read Ezekiel 33:14 to 33:16 for encouragement.

Out of all the things in this world that cause me anxiety, death is not among them. As a matter of fact, I welcome death with open arms.

I am a Christian (Catholic to be exact), so I believe in Heaven and Hell. I make sure to live my life as best I can according to God's laws, therefore I have confidence that I will go to Heaven when I die. I've been baptized, I take Communion, and I ask forgiveness of my sins every day.

That's why I'm eager to die - I'd rather go ahead and start spending an eternity in perpetual happiness rather than continuing to live in a world full of suffering and sorrow. I frequently ask myself why God hasn't allowed me to die yet, but the other night I had a realization that it's because my work here on Earth is not finished. God has plans for me, just as He has plans for us all. There's no such thing as being born "on accident"; God knows the intimate details of our lives before we're even conceived, and He has reasons as to why He allows us to be born. We may never find out what those reasons are, but we need to have faith that God knows what He is doing, and allow Him to direct our paths.

Sorry if this is rambling.

Evolution has never produced a perfect organism, rather ones better suited to an environment than others. This necessitates that the gene pool be constantly in flux, which requires organisms to die. It is an unfortunate inevitability.

I see no need to have an emotional attachment to my body once it is no longer mine. I do not think that there is a life after death, just as there was not one before it.

Nor do I think we have a soul. Personality is in the brain.

I think that the idea for a life after death came when family members were grieving for a loved one. 'They are in a better place' is extremely comforting. Note how some pet owners whose pet dies also think that 'they are in a better place,' even though it is not commonly held that animals have souls.

Humans are not significantly biologically different from other animals-- we just have superior language, culture and technology. Do the vestiges of someone's idiolect, culture, and possessions constitute their soul or do animals have souls just like humans? And where do you do draw the line? Do bacteria have souls? If so, our immune systems are unwittingly killing millions.

In terms of Hell, I like Terry Pratchett's description of it: the worst people go there but do not feel pain because their souls have left the nerve endings along with the body.

I'm not afraid of getting old, and I'm not afraid of dying.

When I was younger I used to think about death quite a lot. I fantasized about about suicide sense I was very little & I also fantasized about dying by saving lives. Fantasizing about that was a form of escape from the real world & maybe an obsessive interest. Oddly enough 1ce I started suffering from a sever depression; I quit fantasizing about death. I haven't thought about death much in the last 7 years but now I'm afraid of death. I made a lot of mistakes in my life(& I'm still making em) & if I wer to die now; I would have made things worse by living. I also am very afraid that death will not be the end. I do NOT like the thought of having a flash-back of my life & having everyone knowing; I'm a very private person. I also am afraid that even if there is no judgment & there is no heaven or hell; there will still be some from of afterlife it may not be good. I would much rater cease to exist

Thanks for the replies.
It is interesting to see how others put these things in perspective.

I am 44 yo & your mind starts freaking out a bit the longer and longer and more dissociated you become.
I liken it to quick sand or a sink hole - keep climbing and clawing at an attempt at a semblance of balance/"sanity" -
After so many years, meltdowns, ups & downs, disappointments, loss & inability to connect to anything "real" you can get pretty afraid.

At least I do at times.
I am also having a tough time w the heat & sun right now - it is Summer here where I live and my mind feels like an assault rifle is aimed at it every time I open my eyes!

I will say this to you younger people as someone a bit older -
Do your very best at all times and don't beat yourself up.
Life w this "condition" is exhausting and there are only so many reserves one has

I'm terrified of my dad aging. He's 68 and I love him very much. I wish I could just stop time where it is for him. I don't know how children handle their parents dying. It's one of those things that's bound to happen, but what do you do? I dread the day. (edit: by "children" I mean adult children.)

As for myself, I've been through the whole suicidal depression thing several times over, and I don't think of dying any more. I wouldn't want to. Things change. Change is constant.

That doesn't sound mad, Pency, I've thought very similar things.

I don't believe in an afterlife and I'm not afraid of dying. It's something that's going to happen no matter what, no use fearing it. Live while you have life. When I went through years of depression I realised early on that suicide was not an option because it doesn't make sense. When you're dead, you're dead. There's nothing else. Better to have something rather than nothing, so I fought my way through some rough years of life knowing eventually things would change. And they did.

What I have a harder time coping with is others dying. Right now it's hurting me deeply to think that my sick cat will one day be gone from existence. Just gone. I think it was in Temple Grandin's movie when a horse died and she said "where did it go?" and her reaction describes my feelings. Except that it really upsets me, because instead of wondering where it's gone, I know it's just gone. I have a hard time looking at dead bodies because they're disturbing, like the light went out inside. They disturb me more when I knew the person because I know they're not there anymore and it feels wrong that I can still see them.

But I'm also fascinated by science, and the things you can learn from death. I've recently been thinking that one day I'd like to dig up my cat and gerbils who have been buried in my backyard for 15 years or so. But not while I'm dealing with a sick cat, that would unsettle me too much.

I don't think about death very much. It's never scared me or anything, figure I've got nothing to be scared about...it's part of the cycle of life. Really, the thought of NEVER dying is much much much more terrifying to me.

I agree wholeheartedly with IdahoRose. I am a Christian too, and I have no fear of death. When I die, I will go to Heaven, and I will be at eternal peace.

Though what it is with me is not death in itself, but suffering and loneliness that I am more afraid of. Though I will meet with God in Heaven, it doesn't mean that I am exempt from experiancing these.
Even Jesus experianced them.

I am a secular humanist, but I like the ritual of Christianity, some new age practices and even some pagan beliefs. The secular humanist aspect is the overriding one. The other aspects are there for spiritual balance.

I don't worry about hell because, from a logical, secular humanist standpoint - the concept is absurd.

Like I said, I only partake in religion/spirituality to feel connected to others - that's where the ritual aspect comes in. For instance, I enjoy visiting a Catholic cathedral so that I may meditate while looking at the beautiful stained glass window. As I meditate, I think of all the people that have prayed and meditated just as I am. I think of how we all worked through similar situations and concerns. I light a candle at the alter for the same reason. I think of all the people generations before me and all the people that will light a candle generations after me - we all have individual concerns, but they are similar at the same time. It makes me feel connected to humanity when I do this.

On the other hands, I don't give a rip about what the Pope or any other religious leader has to say about politics or social issues. I listen to arguments and debate and consider each on its merit - not on WHO is saying it, but on what the actual content of the argument is and whether it is logical, peaceful and beneficial.

Anyways, I am totally digressing. The original topic was about getting older and death.

I am so very fortunate to work with people at or near the end of their life. I work with frail older adults and work with people in terminal stages. If anyone has seen what there is to fear about growing older - it's me. I see people who are living with Alzheimer's Disease and other dementia. I see people who were fully independent adults having their memories dissolve, their judgment severely impaired, their personality often changed, their control over their bodily functions lost and have serere sensory and behaviourial challenges. All the while, they have suffered other losses, including loss of financial independence, income, loss of family and friends (as we grow older, our friends and family die around us), loss of home, loss of community (nursing homes are often out of their original neighbourhood) and loss of overall independence.

I am not afraid of aging.

Why?

Because I know that this population that I see every day represents approximately 9% of all older adults. The rest are living independently or with some assistance and have hobbies and interests and friends and are living the fullest they can until their last day of life.

Even if I am one of the 9% of the population which is in nursing home. I know that there are some awesome people who chose to work in the professions that help older adults. I am one of them and I truly enjoy the people I work with and love helping them.

As for death.

I have seen many deaths over the years. Death from cancer. Death from heart attacks. Death from accidental hemorrhage. Death from the body just shutting down. At the final breath - the deaths have been mostly peaceful. I am an advocate of proactive pain management. I carefully assess pain and consider pain to be what the patient says it is. I do everything that I can to ensure that each person is pain free, but as alert as possible so that they can continue to live to the fullest until they die. Death can be a peaceful transition.

I don't know if there is "another side" after death. I don't think that it necessarily a heaven (and certainly not a hell). If there is another side, I look forward to it. If there isn't another side, I am happy to have had opportunity to enjoy life on earth with everyone else and try to make life reasonably pleasant for all those around me.

The opposite of death is not life. The opposite of death is birth. Death is a part of life. It's okay as long as it is respected and done with dignity at the right time.

I've always had an interest in death itself.

I did go through a time where it felt like "the most welcoming presence" in my entire life.

At moment the interest acts more like a plague. I'm a bit disillusioned with the pattern of loss.

The balancing force of loss or deterioration is just impossible to accept, I think.

As humans we become attached, and think we own the self. We think we are permanent.

It's just because the idea of not being permanent is impossible to grasp.

I've countered the weight of the sure knowledge that my existence is finite by taking measures to pass along pieces of my consciousness in as many different ways as I can think of...