Being Single with Asperger's Syndrome

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It upsets, frustrates and annoys me when TV portrays people like me with Aspergers as though we are unattractive to other people like for example: that show The Undateables where people with Aspergers, Autism and other mental and physical disabilities try to find the right person for them to date. But it sounds as though it implies they are NOT the kinds of people other people should go on a date with and we are ugly and weird and complete boring nerds. But I mean I bet a girlfriend finds her boyfriend's interest in football boring. I get feelings of jealousy of other people I see who are probably my age or younger and are with somebody and I assume they are boyfriend and girlfriend and it makes me feel at times that I'll never find someone, and I don't really want to go to a nightclub or somewhere like that women as its not my thing but I do like to sociable with others. This does frustrate me and does make me feel I'm missing out. I do also struggle to appreciate myself for the time I have being single right now and seem to feel couples are better people than single people.

<---Ugly, weird, completely boring nerd. Hated it when he was younger, now accepts it with open arms.

i get jealous alot of people being together, but this is only when im out and about or at work, but i also assume its not all that glamorous, such as relationships aren't all perfect and aren't without stress or arguments, i'd make myself an example of how i'd envision my way in a relationship: you feel a connection to someone, then proceed to ask them on a date, lucky enough to get to both connect with similar interests, discuss future options / current issues e.g. no children, lack of libido, financial stress, surrendering most things i would have done as a single person like watch fav movies or binge watch series, managing health conditions, and this would be in reference to an NT I had feelings for. All in all the compromises outweigh the feeling of being with someone i feel strongly about.

Yeah, I bet you know very well the media should never be used as a benchmark. (Think of how they stereotypically portray other minorities).

By the way, being single has its advantages too! A lot of relationships are a struggle, but people are hiding that the best they can.

Well, being realistic. We are weird. We are atypical. We are not everyone's cup of tea.

Doesn't mean there's something "wrong" with us, but the majority of people are not like us and will naturally gravitate towards dating people like them. Not us.

I'd rather be with someone like me than jump through hoops trying to make an NT happy.

I agree with rather being with someone like you than to jump through hoops to make an NT happy.

All the bullsh.t about empathy aside, I only feel I can genuinely be myself and let my guard down among other aspies/auties. There seems to be a fundamental level of understanding without having to talk. For me having a genuine soulmate is more important than having a permanent relationship. Understanding on a basic level is way easier when your brain wiring is similar! (And it helps I'm more attracted to someone's personality than to physical characteristics)

You don't have to be an aspie to not feel normal, it's possible to relate on a deeper level to people who have other problems. I've been in four relationships with NT girls who all had difficult childhoods and traumas that made them feel different to everybody else, there was no dating process in the traditional sense, I've never been to a nightclub or taken a girl out for a drink, we just talked about the things that made life feel impossible to bear and it went from there.

That's not to say that being in a relationship doesn't scramble your brain. I'm still not over my first girlfriend, my heart will ache for her until the day I die, it's hard to imagine the pain could be any worse if I'd never been in a relationship or had feelings for anyone ever.

The name of the show itself sounds horrible and it would be the stuff of nightmares if I were ever chosen for such a program.

I could hear the description of me, and it would be very unflattering, not the description of a woman any man would date.

Personally, I thought The Undateables was a great show.

The Undatables sounds like a great show to me. People with Aspergers & other mental & physical issues DO tend to have problems getting dates. It doesn't mean we're bad people, it's more that others don't give us half a chance. It sounds like the show does try to help the undatables find others who will give them a fair chance which I think is a very good thing. I have aLOT more than my fair share of disabilities(physical & mental on top of Aspergers) & most others refused to even consider giving me half a chance. Despite my many problems, I know I have good qualities & really believe most any woman would love to be in a relationship with me if she just gave me a fair chance & actually gotten to know me & how I am within a relationship. My current girlfriend has a lot of physical & mental issues herself & both my exes had mental issues. I related to them alot better than I related to anyone else in my life. We could relate to having similar struggles with things & I think being supportive & accepting of others disabilities/problems/issues is one of my strongest relationship strengths. I would of LOVED to have someone help me find a girlfriend & I would of done the mail-order bride thing if I had the money & resources or I would of taken in a girl who needed a place to stay if I had my own place because I really do believe I have some relationship strengths that women would love if they just gave me a chance.

Isn't there a saying about those that are in relationships sometimes miss and crave to be single and those that are single , want to be in a relationship. Maybe it's a confidence thing? learn to love and appreciate yourself more and then you'll attract others. Theirs another saying about, learning to love yourself before you can love others and be loved, something to that affect. It is hard for most people to meet someone truly compatible, in every way, not just personality but morally, attraction , whether it's mutual or reciprocal. Often at times, i've heard of people that have been in relationships, where they love someone but aren't in love. Some claim that one person loves more than the other too.

Being single with aspergers is not nearly as difficult as being married with kids. In my experience.

I am absolutely comfortable with being single and never married and will continue to be so and celibate for the rest of my life. I have no patience for females in a romantic sense and only keep them as friends, if that.

From observation and stories I've heard, marriage sounds like a hellish existence indeed.

I fully embrace being alone and relish every minute of it!