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Papster
Butterfly
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05 Nov 2018, 11:15 am

How did you finally accept your autism and the difficulties it causes?
I really struggle accepting myself, because my autism really makes it difficult in the office due to my lack of interest in being sociable like most other people. It really knocks me and causes my depression and anxiety to get worse.



kraftiekortie
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05 Nov 2018, 11:24 am

I'm really not all that "social," either.

I'm sort of like the class clown/village idiot.....

And I'm okay with it.



Fnord
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05 Nov 2018, 11:28 am

Papster wrote:
How did you finally accept your autism and the difficulties it causes?
Learning that I have an ASD meant that I finally understood why I had those problems in the first place. Then, because I had been diagnosed in my mid-50s, I had already developed my own coping behaviors for supporting a productive life. So, for me, I was ready to accept a logical reason for my difficulties long after they had stopped being so difficult for me, and long before that logical reason was actually presented.

My diagnosis was more of a relief (an "AHA!" moment) than a dreaded event (an "Oh, No!" moment).



Papster
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05 Nov 2018, 11:34 am

I was diagnosed in my early forties, I suffer from anxiety and depression and I really find it hard accepting myself. I guess it makes it harder as I work partly in an office environment and most people are very sociable with each other whereas I just avoid it as I really can't be bothered, verging on finding it painful and mentally draining.



Lil_miss_lois
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05 Nov 2018, 12:28 pm

It's tough, I can want to feel a certain way but it won't change anything. Like accepting my height or my appearance or my family.

I am who I am. You are who you are. They are who they are.

It is what it is.

You've got to play with the hand you're dealt.


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ASPartOfMe
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05 Nov 2018, 1:12 pm

I also got diagnosed in my mid 50's, 5 years ago.

What helped my self-acceptance was realizing a lot of my problems were not caused or only partially caused by character flaws such as being weak and lazy but because I was "born this way".

It made me understand that while I had developed coping mechanisms they were not as effective as I thought. Some of my coping mechanisms were good, and some were harmful in part because I previously did not fully understand who I am. This allowed me to make adjustments and set realistic goals. Realistic does not necessarily mean settling for less it can mean realizing certain things are obtainable that I thought were not obtainable due to strengths I did not realize I have or have underestimated.

As far as work goes you have to ask yourself 1. Am I doing the type of work best suited for who I am? 2. Is the company culture suited to who I am? The last one is tough because most offices expect at least some socialization but the amount expected does vary to a certain degree.


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Canadian Penguin
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05 Nov 2018, 1:26 pm

You just learn to accept that it is part of who you are. You have to let yourself know that it's OK.

Being frank about it, with the people around you, can make it easier. (for some, not all)

Accepting one's limitations is a good first step. Going beyond those limitations becomes a bonus.

I certainly can understand wanting to be more social at work, but it just not coming easy if at all. It's who you are, don't ever feel you need to apologize for it.

I was somewhat able to be social at work. If it was a group going out for lunch, it was easier because then I could just fade into the background and let them talk amongst themselves. If you can go out to lunch as a group, that may be an 'in' to being more social with your cow orkers.

From time to time, there would be a group going out that wouldn't invite me. It felt insulting, but it really worked out best for me

I was in the unfortunate position of having to try and entertain vendors from time to time. Those were the longest lunch hours ever.


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