Hygiene and aspergers

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I just recently self diagnosed myself with aspergers. I've been dealing with all the associated issues as well: anxiety, depression, loneliness, etc..


Lately it has gotten worse... I was blessed with above average looks and I feel like it was one of the few positive cards I was dealt in life. And now at 28, I've started to obsess over previously unrealized flaws in my appearance that were due to neglect of hygiene.


When I was younger I had acne that I picked at and significantly scarred one of my cheeks. I also just went to the dentist for the first time in about 8 years and had mild periodontitis which has caused some slight gum recession.


At this point I am just frustrated that I managed to tarnish a beneficial asset that I had in life. I'm tempted to blame my parents for not giving me more guidance: Like telling me that picking at acne can scar your face, or that you need to visit the dentist every 6 months or your teeth will fall out. Just simple basic rules of life that I feel like everyone should know.


Are these the types of things that neurotypical people just figure out on their own and therefore don't need guidance from their parents? I'm trying to figure out who/what to blame here so I can process this and move on... Is this a parenting problem, an autism related issue, or none of the above?

I consider these things part of the hand we are dealt. I had a lot of acne as a teen and even tho I didn't pick at them, my mother insisted on squeezing them. So not only did I suffer great pain at the time but I still have some scars and pits on my face from what she did. I have been told I am attractive too but I have trouble accepting it due to my rough facial geography.

It is a lack of education issue. All parents have to teach their kids these things (and often fight about them and use star charts and estate draconian rules and loose their patience, etc). Kids are notorious for not listening to parents tell them these things. How to get kids to comply with hygiene related rules is often a topic of mainstream parenting articles.

Yeah, I just would have expected that someone would have told me that that could scar my face. Is that just a common knowledge thing?

And then when I turned 18 I guess my parents just expected that I would just start seeing a dentist on my own, with no real explanation as to why that was important.

Idk, it just sucks cause these were really easily preventable things that didn't need to happen.

I brushed my teeth twice a day every day. That was something I knew I had to do and I did it religiously. I also regularly showered and used deodorant.

I never flossed for 25 years of my life. My theory for this is because I had braces and the difficulty of flossing with braces, especially as a teenager was just too difficult to me. So this behavior carried on even after I got my braces off.

I also just learned that you're supposed to wash and moisturize your face twice a day...All these things I had no idea until 28. I just can't believe I didn't know this stuff until now...

Uh-oh. I never washed and moisturized my face twice a day. I was lucky to wash it every so often.

I guess I was lucky with respect to going to a dentist after I left home because the military dictated it. I brush usually every night before bed & floss once in a while, although it would be better to floss every night.

I'd try to let go of the blame thing and just move on. What has happened, has happened. There's nothing you can do about it now. Take it as a learning experience, and teach your kids if that day should arrive for you. It will be much less stressful to forget about blaming anyone or anything.

Everyone is different, and if your parents didn't tell you, well... some people are just that way.

Yeah I was taken to a dentist regularly. I can't remember how often but probably frequently.

I think in my head I associated the dentist with braces and once I had them taken off I thought I was done with that whole thing and could just brush my teeth from there on out for the rest of my life. I didn't realize my teeth required maintenance.

Actually eye care is another thing I neglected as well. My vision got progressively worse throughout my late teens and it wasn't till I was about 22 that I had my eyes checked and got contacts.

I realize it's not good to blame my parents per se. I think they did they best they could in raising me. I'm just frustrated I still had these gaps in my hygiene knowledge.

I agree with the ones who said you shouldn't blame your parents for these problems - although for a while I balmed them as well, for similar issues.

I have severe periodontitis and it is likely I will loose some teeth because of this before I turn 40. Since I remember I have brushed my teeth every evening before going to bed and in the morning as well. I have seen dentists fairly regularly, the longest period I haven't seen one was maybe 3 years. I always had problems with my teeth and both of my parents got dental prosthesis before the age of 50. Recently I go to the dentist every 3 months, brush twice, use interdental brush and special mouthwash, and so on. I read somewhere in a study that the agressive type of periodontitis that I have is likely a form of autoimmune disease, so I am wondering if it is not somehow connected to autism or share some of the same genes.

Same with acne. But at least it got better since I am not a teenager, and laser treatment/microdermabrasion/dermaroller treatment can improve the scars a lot.

I feel exactly the same way; I too consider myself to be well above average in the beauty department, but have terrible teeth, due to my neglect of oral hygiene up to the age of about fourteen. Ovid recommended that people like us simply refrain from smiling - see the Ars Amatoria

I console myself by telling myself that Kenneth Clark, British art historian, broadcaster and one of my heroes, had the same problem.

I suspect some of this falls into the Lessons Learned department.

When I was young I had many cavities. I would have them filled but then a year or two later the cavities were back on the same teeth. This was primarily because of my sweet tooth. Over time some of my teeth began to disintegrate. My dentist recommended replacing these with crowns. So as the years went by I had many crowns installed. THIS WAS AN EXCELLENT DECISION. I am now over 70 and my teeth are in very good shape.

Another dentist recommended that I use a rotating toothbrush, such as Oral-B. This is because I was having problems with plaque buildup, gingivitis, and gum disease. I followed his advise over 10 years ago and this problem subsided.

So the best advise I can give you is to follow the suggestions of your dentist if you want to live to 70 and still have good teeth.