What do you do to stay safe from bad people?

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I often find that, despite truly "bad" people being a minority, they are attracted to me and people like me. With their leechiness and parasitic behavior comes an invasion of my space and social manipulation. It never ends well, and often ends in a massive collision between me and the person in question. This happens obviously in environments where I can't get away, like work and college.

They never leave me alone. I've learned that the fix is to be incredibly selective of who I even let talk to me, and organize my schedule so I never get trapped somewhere where I can't leave at will. However, until I start a dream business, that will be impossible. Sometimes I feel like ASD functions like a physical illness, where I have to be careful not to naively walk into a trap.

It's not that I'm any more fragile (physically or mentally) or less intelligent than the manipulator (often the opposite), but their manipulation also involves other people, adding a level of complexity, like a chess game, where I am outmatched because of my obliviousness. Even if I win the "chess" part itself by actively participating, they find other ways to gain power, typically through my tendency to become socially exhausted more easily than them. I don't have the desire to engage in silent interpersonal warfare with people, and I don't enjoy it like they do.

And everything above aside, I also can't avoid physical confrontation. I've walked into some of the worst situations because I can't spot it like other people can. For example, I walked towards someone on the street with a sign and got threatened. I also get into conversations with a sketchy people and end up in confrontations often.

So how do you protect yourself from this sort of stuff? Or how do you keep your personal space and boundaries from being violated or infringed upon?

Hello, i don't know if you're open with your diagnosis but one thing you can do is be open and honest about it. I often tell people that i'm naive and gullible even if i hide my diagnosis. When i do that, some people actually act protective towards me. (Though it may be because i'm a woman too) Men especially treat me like i'm a fragile person and are careful around me.

I've become better at saying no. Sometimes I may make up a ridiculous story to get rid of someone. I also spend so much time alone. But, it's tough. I attract many manipulators, predators, and folks who feel the need to dump their life stories and personal insecurities on me as a way of introducing themselves.

I interact with people as little as possible. Present company excluded of course.

If I have the executive function, I'll be very capable of defending myself from such people. Really, how much of social skills is EF? How much awareness is processing?

That's all I truly need in order to roam free for real.

How can one not be 'gullible' and 'unaware' if your senses are overwhelmed, competing, or busy at something else -- when there's some people judging you from behind, and deem you to be 'vulnerable'? Let alone 'practice' the right way to defend yourself instead of becoming anxious, paranoid, or avoiding...
It's no wonder why.



Honestly, I don't exactly know why I was remained unscathed. It's not like I'm very withdrawn myself. It's not like I always have someone to watch out for me either. And it's not like I avoid unfamiliar places either.
While I do have my guard on and mistrust people easily, it's not like I've ever been a victim of anything or anymore serious than name calling.
It's not like I mask myself to hide even, I could go at the streets at night alone and giggle loudly as anyone would stare for all I care. Even though I kkeep hearing many rumors and real accounts of crimes done in the streets that I'd walk on, especially at night.

I might've been a sighted target for all I know, but I've yet to be a victim of any incident.

Or heck, miss a malicious intent from some stranger and just haven't or couldn't acted on it.
Even one of my boss told me something about a night when we employees went for a movie and came home late. That some stranger, a driver, told him that I act like a child -- the driver concluded I'm vulnerable. My boss retaliated with a bluff that I came from a higher social standing related to someone more powerful and 'dangerous', then this stranger shuts up for the rest of the ride.


Maybe I'm just seriously lucky. Because I'm still mostly just as clueless.
Maybe something else had been protecting me from the shadows or from the above.
Maybe I attract more benelovent intents from others than malicious ones. Or unintentionally repel either or both.
Maybe it's a coincidence that I've been doing things right without realizing for my own benefit.
Maybe it's because where I usually am is actually safer than most people would implied.
It could be any of these. I barely did any part at all other than not being anxious.

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Just don't hang out with people who always ask to bum something from you....and you'll be okay.

I can relate to this entire post question. For some reason, I have attracted several manipulators and predator 'friends'. I get the feeling they all thought they were more intelligent than me. They all had the same pattern. They inserted themselves into my life like parasites that I could not shake, claiming to be 'my best friend'. I didn't realize they were so manipulative at first, but now I see the pattern after many years. People who come across as overly friendly to me, will now always raise a red flag.. but the way I stay safe from them is to only interact with my animals and family and I'm completely fine with that. Socializing is too exhausting anyway.

I can relate well to your story.

I don´t know you but I can imagen that you are a friendly person and that friendliness is showing from long distance. People see directly that you are nice and maybe timid. Maybe you also are a too good of a listener and that´s a dead give away of being in these situations in the first place. A sad way to get away from the drama is simply being boring and not giving to others, when they tell you something don´t react on it, give a boring reaction. It´s a shame to act boring on a work for example when you´re not, but sometimes you have to just protect yourself.

We hosted a foreign exchange student from Brazil. One of the conversations we had with her drifted to life on the streets of Brazil. The country has a lot of crime and there are many gangs that operate freely in the country. So what she did was develop a trait called being "street smart". She was always looking out for signs that could make her a victim and then alter her movements to avoid them. She might cross to the other side of the street or duck into a shop. She became very smart at detecting these signs.

So in a sense what you are asking is how do I become "street smart". You don't want to avoid everyone because that would disable you for the rest of your life. You only want to avoid the bullies of the world.

So I did a quick search on the internet and came up with this website: Training: Street Smarts for Personal Safety

What this organization claims to offer is training to:
* Identify the three components of a personal crime and how to influence them
* The three categories of awareness and how to use them to your advantage
* How to use personal presence to discourage criminal activity
* How criminals pick their victims and what they really want
* 13 rules for staying safe on the street

So you might do a google search using the words "street smart training" and see where that leads you. You are just trying to learn the tells that can allow you to detect the "bad" people.

I avoid women. Makes life a lot easier.

Lock myself in my room and seldom leave, except to use the bathroom, go grocery shopping, or go to my doctor for my quarterly checkup.

I ALWAYS tell strangers NO when they ask anything of me. I also keep to myself & don't say much when others try talking to me. I'm too much in my own head anyways to start or be a good participant in a conversation. I just go around doing my own thing & don't speak to anyone unless I need to or I get spoken to 1st.