Single, lonesome and frustrated

Post Reply New Topic

I try to enjoy being single at times but I do get quite lonesome and frustrated that I at 29 I still haven't met someone and worrying that I never will, I am social but I never go out to social environments like clubs on a weekend because I don't like those places and I seem to think they are the ONLY places available to meet new people and think to myself whenever I see a young couple I think 'They must have met a bar or somewhere.' I've been on dating sites and get no replies whatsoever when I send messages. I feel like I repel people and they are not interested in me whatsoever. The trouble is I have few friends to hang out so even though I love to socialise with other NT people I choose not to go to clubs, bars, pubs and places on my own initiative as I don't see the point in going to these places if you are on your own and not very interested in those environments.

I didn't meet my boyfriend in a bar, nor any of my friends. I met my boyfriend on a bus one morning. Didn't need to dress up and get rat-arsed in a crowded noisy nightclub to meet him. As for friends, I met a couple of them at college and still kept in touch (they aren't NTs, one has autism and one has Fragile-X), and the others I met at previous volunteer jobs and paid jobs. No bars and clubs were used at all. In fact I don't even know how people can even make friends in a noisy, crowded bar where everyone's shouting over loud music and people aren't being themselves because they're getting drunk and acting stupid. The last time I went to a bar I couldn't move because it was so packed, and there was fights going on outside due to drunk idiots clashing. What is the fun in that? You're better off volunteering at a charity shop or doing something similar. I'm not that good at making friends but even I seemed to attract people at volunteer jobs who were my age. Also some friends are older than me but age doesn't matter.

I don't do the bar scene, either. There are plenty of good alternatives. I have a good social life and people like me. So far, I have not dated, but I hope that is in my future.

Forget the "bar scene."

It's definitely not for most Aspies....

It was never for me.

I know how you feel. I struggled majorly to get a girlfriend due to having various physical & mental disabilities besides Aspergers. I had no luck on dating sites at all & I had no luck getting a girlfriend offline but bad. I was single & looking for 8 years. I would of done the mail-order bride route if I would of had the money & resources & I would of taken in a girl who needed a place to stay if I would of had my own place. I met both my exes & current girlfriend on forums, the ladder two were this one. I was very willing to relocate but I felt trapped where I was living with my parents.

You won't ever meet anyone decent in a bar, remember that