The Trend I Noticed on WP During My 5 Years Here

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I have been pondering all of this for quite some tome now, I finally decided to put it into writing.

When I joined here in the middle of 2013 there was a lot of aspie/autistic positivity around here, many, many members who kept the balance for those who felt down in life. While some of their autistic pride was dismissive of those struggling because of autism, I do think that they kept a general good feeling around here that in many cases caused the depressed autistic folk to have a brighter outlook.

With the rise of Twitter, many of those autistic pride folk left here and started posting on there instead. Those folks such as the most prominent neurodiversity advocate on twitter who I won't refer to by name, have forgotten about those who feel like their autism has caused them nothing but grief in life. They have even advocated to their followers blocking other autistic twitter users because they are "enemies of neurodiversity". A friend of mine was blocked and when I stood up for him, I too was blocked. Having lost their grip of what other autistic folk are going through, they have gone after, in very harsh ways, parents of autistic children who publish a books, and many blame NTs for everything wrong in their life and the world. This is a distorted view point that I never saw when I first joined here. It frightens me to think that these folks are the ones that currently have to microphone for our representation.

The concurrent story here on wrong planet isn't much better. Most of the folk who have stuck around here are going though a rough patch in life and need support, but with very few positive members left, there are few people to cheer them up. Reading posts here puts a feeling of despair into me, so many members here are going though deep depression and are suicidal, and all I see are rational reasons why not to and people who halfheartedly agree with the suicidal poster. This place doesn't have the positive aura it had when I joined.

This schism in the autistic community that happened slowly between 2013 and now has done little good for either camp in my opinion.

I'd like to hear thoughts on my opinion.

We have more chronically negative/depressed people now than when I first joined.
Some are the same people who are still complaining of the same issues.
That gets wearing on everyone else and it's really hard to lift the tone, especially when we often feel suicidal ourselves but have to suck it up for the sake of keeping things positive.
And we're not counsellors, we're socially inept autistics.
What do you suggest we do?

How do you cheer someone up who's suicidal??
I wish I knew.

I wish I could propose a solution, but I have none. I'm one of those folks sometimes feeling that way, too. I started writing this because WP just isn't the vibrant place it was when I first joined, and I wanted to discuss why.

it possibly follows the political agenda of victimhood culture

I've been lurking here a long time although I'm a new user, I've noticed that too. It made me sad when I joined and noticed it. I read a lot of WP when I was younger and first being diagnosed.
Personally I think my Asperger's is a good thing. In terms of personality. A bad thing in terms of sensory issues.
I'm borderline Asperger's and NT personality wise and I feel like I have very little in common with the profoundly autistic kids that mum used to teach who couldn't talk and had learning difficulties. This is probably just my Asperger's which makes me feel the need to say it. But Asperger's needs its own diagnosis and doesn't have that anymore.
When I first heard about my diagnosis (10 years after it happened, mum told me about it, I wish it hadn't been at a time when I was being bullied) I was depressed because I thought that Asperger's and Alzheimer's were the same thing. I remember saying 'fifteen year olds don't have that' and being scared I'd lose my memory. Coming on WP and reading about positive people with life experiences and personalities like mine really helped.
I've also noticed that Neurodiversity is becoming full of more and more types of people. I think this is a mistake. I have social anxiety now and would like nothing more than to be rid of it. Sometimes the brain is sick just as sometimes the body is sick and my version of Asperger's, my personality, isn't one of those times. But my social anxiety which I acquired in my 20s (and which led to two months of bed riddenness, 5 years of being a recluse stuck in my house) was/is. It doesn't need a neurodiversity movement, it needs a cure. My autism is the other way around, it needs a ND movement not a cure. Of course, if you open Neurodiversity up to people who are genuinely mentally ill (and not autistic or ADHD or the things it used to mean) then neurodiversity will become incredibly negative. At the same time, we'll all feel like walking on eggshells because it's 'neurodiverse' to be suicidal or depressed or anxious or even a psychopath.
I think mental health is about being able to cope in your own personality and to be safe to others and yourself. If you have that then we can start talking about neurodiversity. But if you're a psychopath or suicidal or whatever then that part of you does need a cure.
I realise that autism leads to meltdowns which is a bit the same (harm to self/others) but my own meltdowns have a cure: avoiding high sensory input. I'm pro cure when it comes to sensory sensitivities which I'd say are a physical not a mental disability.
I hate twitter. Twitter was part of what led to my social anxiety in the first place, trying to fit in there. And they don't like my politics. And they hate anonymity which I love and was part of the internet I grew up with.

The place doesn't strike me as being terribly negative. If I wanted to seek comfort from people online (I don't, being quite comfortable with my life at the moment), I think I'd be able to find someone here.

I feel it would benefit people who are sad if they would seek to listen to other viewpoints which are based on reality.

Sometimes, people should be shown “another way” and not rely solely upon their own impressions in forming their viewpoints.

I feel like many sad people are angry and skeptical; that is why they find it difficult to consider other takes on things in general.

But don’t slam your impressions down peoples’ throats. Engage in dialogue, instead. Listen to people (both the advice-giver and advice-receiver).

I believe there is still much positivity (or at least anti-negativity) on WP, by the way. And I believe many people who don’t feel positive are fighting tooth and nail.

I've only been here six months, although it seems longer to me.

How has the world changed in the last five years?
How is the state of affairs in the world portrayed in the media compared to five years ago?
I think there is more negativity among many people at large rather than only being something plaguing WP. I think that has to be taken into account.

[opinion=mine]

It is difficult to cheer someone up when they seem to not want to be cheered up, especially when they seem more interested in dragging others down with them or with arguing against every possible piece of affirmation and uplifting advice. It's almost like they're trolling for victims, using their own misery as bait to draw them in.

But, you know what?

I discovered -- quite by accident -- that if you don't let yourself get drawn in, they eventually stop. Maybe they go away, and maybe they 'normalize' and start acting like they can handle their own problems without lashing out at those who tried to help. Either way, the overall mood of this website has lightened up in the past couple of weeks because of this.

[/opinion]

Anyway, that's my Cr0.02 ... your opinions may differ.

Agreed. I think a lot of people, not just on here, but in general, have such low self esteem that they can only conceive of a relationship with another human being based upon pity and, as such, their depression becomes a kind of perverse addiction. The kindest thing one can do with such people is to ignore them.

Thank you. If people really want help, then they should treat potentially helpful people better, or else get used to people ignoring them until they go away.

Yes, I know that seems harsh and that it makes me seem like an uncaring bastard, but there is The Haven, which I rarely post in any more simply because my idea of being helpful does not jibe well with those who genuinely seek help there. Let those who are better at serving up "Tea and Sympathy" than I dive in and be helpful. Imma stay out of it as much as I can so as not to make things worse.

That's all I can do, it seems.

I think you are talking about a very small number of members here and although you think you know how depression affects these members , you actually have no idea ( nor do I , it can be individual ). If you have already upset a member with a comment it is very unlikely they will listen to you again or take your advice on board. Some here would even see you advice as trolling due to your self proclaimed dutch uncle style. Sometimes a change of approach is needed as you have found out although is not posting a solution ? I don't think it is although I don't have the solution.

It only takes a small number of people 'spamming' their depression and negativity all over the most popular sub-fora -- and derailing unrelated threads, as well -- to bring down the overall mood of this or any website.

As for being a "Dutch Uncle", I've dialed it back a bit. Now I try to just be informative or apply my own (warped) sense of humor, while not getting involved in other people's problems. It seems to be working -- no one has tried to get me banned in the last 3 or 4 minutes, at least!

When I first got here, I got into an argument with Fnord about women, I found his tone condescending and harsh and there were fireworks. It wasn't until much later that I read some of his posts and realized it was just the communication style he had, and I'd read too much into the words and not realizing the issue at hand caused him great pessimism. Point being: he was speaking and I wasn't really listening. Communication is a two way street, if one party refuses to listen it doesn't matter what the other party says there will be no real exchange of ideas. To bring that full circle, let's say Fnord was the most positive upbeat person in the world ready to help anyone in emotional distress like a psychological Superman, it would make absolutely no difference if the person on the other end refuses to listen.

There was no way I could have been here in 2011-2012, when I, too, was on the verge of becoming one of those who though her life was never going to get better. However, in 2013, things began to improve (not overnight, mind you) when I began to do more for myself. Now, as we approach 2019, I still am nowhere near accomplishing everything I need to accomplish to become fully independent, but I'm seeking out new opportunities all the time.

I find myself having to take a mental health break when it gets hot and heavy with suicide posts because I feel for people going through a rough time. Some people here have gone through terrible things and health difficulties far more daunting than anything I could imagine.

I try to be a positive voice here and try to help out when I can.

My user name reflects triumph over adverse situations. Denis Istomin overcame a lot, and he inspires me to succeed.