Autistics Who Don't Fit the Common Stereotypes

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On StrangerInGodzone (an AS blog) today's post really resonated with me:

http://strangeringodzone.blogspot.co.nz ... types.html

This link addresses an issue that recurs in one form or another on WP every week, especially in this forum. As well as some established members with very rigid and exclusive views on who is autistic (not that many) it sometimes happens that new members with no experience of the forums, nor our diversity here, arrives with a very fixed idea about who is "really" autistic, and do seem to sometimes think that anyone else unlike them cannot possibly be AS.

I think that the latter group of arrivals have mostly no intent to hurt nor offend those whose autism manifests differently, and with time, experience and the learning curve experience of Wrong Planet, most do come to realise and learn much more about difference and diversity within the AS community and inhabitants of WP. I learned so much here from day one that broadened my own understanding and expanded my thinking. It's something I feel enduringly grateful for.

Very occasionally, there are some who do come here specifically with the purpose of causing hostile disruption to others because they cannot bear the fact of neurodiversity, don't come here to learn anything, and are on a mission to offend.

One of the great beauties of Wrong Planet is that it was intrinsically set up to cater to the neurodiverse and to be inclusive. In that other planet, we all suffer from being stereotyped, and the article made me reflect that it sometimes happens here, as she describes, not out of any hostile intent for the most part. We are all "our own norm" and unconscious projection is a fact of life for everyone. It's good I think to be reminded of this, to reflect on it sometimes.

Yeah, I do like this. I've felt pretty isolated here for the most part; very much an outsider. If more people thought like that article suggests that might not be the case.

I am really glad to hear that.

Carly Fleischmann

She did not communcate at all until age 11 both experts and parents thought she pretty much had no future. She has interests that are typical for young women. She advocated for an autistic to grace the cover of a beauty magazine, she wrote a song "Glamour Girl" and in the video shows emotion of great joy


She is into male movie stars and has a great sense of humor and as shown by her interview with Channing Tatum which has gone viral


This is one of those Youtubers react videos. The first few minutes might be a little to inspirational porn for you but hang in


We talk about about stereotypes a lot, but to see peoples stereotypes dissolve was way cool.

Thank you for posting that -- this deserves to be 'stickied'!

This is one area where I am quite lucky. From childhood until only relatively recently (last few years)...I had no bloody idea what autism even was. Then I started working with adults that had IDD (Intellectual Development Disorders) in group home settings. As such, I got exposed to many different points on the spectrum. Learning about ASD by helping several different people, each of whom was at their own place in the spectrum, allowed me to establish a more informed understanding about what autism is.

It made it easier to understand what I was looking at in myself; I could look for patterns without getting bogged down in biases and preconceived notions.

I have been told a few times on here that I can't possibly have Asperger's because I don't have the extreme dislike for being touched. I actually like physical affection. I wish the ones who said I can't have Asperger's were correct, though, but they aren't.

I agree completely with the article. The only surprise for me was that there are so many people who don't get the meaning of the word "spectrum." I guess I must have somehow missed all these WP threads in which that kind of ignorance has been displayed. I've seen a lot of posts complaining of therapists and shrinks saying silly things such as "you can't have ASD because you do eye contact," but I didn't really see it as a failure to appreciate the spectrum nature of the thing, I've usually put it down to general incompetence. Interesting.

This topic is interesting for a cause I will tell you about in a minute.

First I just need to explain that I cannot say anything about the state of the forum, because I am new here. I hope that the overall tone is good but all forums have haters and it is nothing new.

My psychiatrist said something really interesting to me when I said I do not feel like a typical aspie. She said that two people with Asperger's can be extremely different.

It could be because the person with only AS and nothing more has its personality while another AS person who has co-morbid mood disorders and personality disorders has another. These two persons can appear very different despite having the same diagnosis.

So for me I would not accuse anyone with a diagnosis of AS to be NT without much to go on.

This is exactly why I didn't pursue a diagnosis earlier in life.

I recall, years ago, reading about the traits of autism. I remember sitting and thinking how they sounded 'just like me'. Then, I remember visualising the stereotype of an autistic person and determining that 'huh, we have some similarities', but knowing that I was 'nothing like that'.

Perhaps, if that stereotype had not been so prevalent, I would have researched a bit more many years ago. As it was, I brushed the thought aside and forgot about it.

Years later, I rediscovered those traits. Now, with accessible forums, it is easier for people to learn more about the individuals behind the label. It was only from browsing forums that I really cemented the idea that I was likely to be autistic. Only when I realised that the stereotype didn't apply anywhere near as often as I imagined it to, did I realise that I might have autism.

Even still, there are good days (as I await my diagnostic assessment in a couple of weeks) when I think to myself that I've made a huge mistake asking to be assessed, because I'm not 'like them'. It is hard to get out of that mindset. On the other hand, I am now more aware than ever that I am more 'like them' than I realised. So many things that I convinced myself were not me, I am now discovering are - though they're minor in comparison to the stereotypical image.

"I'm not autistic. They need to wear sunglasses because they have problems with the light".

Well, it turns out that I also had problems with the light and simply didn't realise that was my issue until I started wearing sunglasses regularly. Now, I do wear sunglasses indoors quite often.

"I'm not autistic, I don't flap my hands around".

It turns out, I occasionally do and have started to notice it. It's very rare, and I have to be really overwhelmed, but it's there.

"I'm not autistic. I use eye contact".

I was absolutely convinced that I was good at eye contact, until I realised that I may be autistic. I have since noticed that when I talk to people, I do make eye contact but relatively quickly look off in a different direction whilst continuing to have a conversation. I didn't realise I did it. I didn't appreciate how it probably looks to someone else. Usually I look slightly down and to the right - more to the floor than elsewhere - which probably looks quite rude.

"I'm not autistic. I don't melt down over 'ridiculous' things."

God, how naive I was. I absolutely do get incredibly stressed out about things that other people think are minor, I just didn't realise I did it. Only recently my husband said "I always thought you were just incredibly overdramatic about small things that most people wouldn't care about - I didn't realise how big it all felt inside your head".

It's not extreme. I'm nowhere near the sterotypical image. I'm far enough away that I once wouldn't have seen myself in that image in a million years. But I do realise now, that if we saw more 'toned down' representations, I would have recognised it in myself potentially years ago.

My advice to you is to be yourself. They are professionals and if you act like normal they can tell if you are on the autistic spectrum or not. Do not play a role. Do not be desperate. Just keep calm and it will be okay.

Yeah, i agree with what you are saying, hearing newbies give their "expert" opinion on how everyone should be like them is getting oooooold.

I also do not think some of them are out to "hurt nor offend" but i think that some of them need an attitude adjustment. A "welcoming FAQ" to read through would be good.

Some people get misdiagnosed with Autism spectrum disorders, and with the "diagnosis expertise" i've read about over the years that exists in some places, it is not surprising we get people with psychopathy, borderline and other diagnoses who end up here and apply their "friendliness" to others. (If it walks like a duck...)

Some (only a few) newcomers do asssert (quite adamantly) that diagnostic criteria = a total description of AS, and project that in a black and white way onto others, perhaps not realising that the diagnostic criteria are purpose specific - a heuristic used to assist diagnosis, not inclusive of all signs, symptoms and lived experience of AS.

Heuristics are a very convenient form of clinical shorthand, the criteria change from time to time because heuristics are not set in stone and don't always work very well in practice - so they are amended and the search for better heuristics is always a work in progress. AS manifests in different ways, and no heuristic could ever include a completely realistic representation of the differences within the AS population.

One of the issues is that the heuristics to date have been based on research done on exclusively male samples - usually young male samples, and this bias is recognised though it has not been remedied (yet) as good research which is not age and gender biased on large male and female samples has not yet been done.