Recovery from burnout

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Hi all, this is my first “real” post aiming at introducing myself a bit more and seeing how others are doing.

To be honest it’s also a bit of an “out loud” sigh.

I suffered a massive burnout in Oct 2017 that left me genuinely not caring what happened to me after 25 years of successful career as an engineer/analyst, husband and dad & step-dad. It was three months before I could return to work, another 6 before I felt I was performing again, and now 15 months on I still feel dazed and unsure who I am.

It was early in this process that I realised that the burnout had been caused by masking undiagnosed and unsuspected autism. I’m hoping to have my diagnosis confirmed in the next couple of months.

I blogged the hell out of this subject for the last year, putting all of the jigsaw pieces together. Now things make sense and I understand what happened, but it is taking a long time to feel whole again.

I’ve also got to the point where I can hardly be bothered talking about it anymore - which could be a positive thing - but in some weird sense this leaves me feeling adrift.

Welcome to the club!
Still recovering from a huge burnout over 2 years ago... I mean the burnout is over but the recovery is still in progress. I also knew that feeling of jigsaw pieces finally fitting each other, finally explaining what have been happening to me all my life.
There may be lots and lots of emotions to process now that you've found the key to understanding yourself. It takes time, sure. Over time you may get it all smoother in your mind.
Welcome to the WP!

Thanks Magz

Welcome to Wrong Planet!

Welcome.
I had a really big burnout a few years ago as well and it could have killed me had I not also researched like a mad woman until I figured out what was happening. I am so happy that you have recovered. I never made a full recovery so I have to be careful not to have another burnout. They can be very scary. I am so happy that you got through it intact. It is a pleasure to have you here at WP.

Have had a burnout myself a few years ago, but fortunately i was able to pull out of it. Was on sleeping pills and relaxants because of events at work, i was stressed out and it felt like my heart should explode.

Some days i couldn't even get out of bed and eat, so i lost lots of weight because of it. Had no energy to do anything, couldn't even play computergames which i love to do. Didn't even leave my apartment and had no hope for the future. I had lots of time to spend, but i could barely do anything. Everything that i normally thought of as fun, wasn't anymore.

So i know what you have been going through.

How much productivity has been lost due to our lack of understanding. I hope the next generation will have better fortune... but I see so many of them not even struggling to achieve at all. I don't have any answers.

Welcome! Another burnout survivor here, you're certainly not alone.
It can definitely take time to get back on one's feet - a few years' on I'm back in work and enjoying it, but having to be much more aware of my limitations and adjust my life accordingly. And aware now of how my ASD affects my kids and trying to compensate.
Still learning!

I am so glad we are talking about this on this forum. There is no talk about Autism Burnout in real life and I think that is by design. It is such a massively important topic. It can potentially be deadly. Let's keep sharing about our experiences. Like Bea said, it is important for all of us to know about this.

Hi I'm an engineer to. Im a software developer and there is always a lot of pressure. A couple of years ago my Achilles' tendon rupted just before a beginning burnout and I had to learn that I don't get any support by my employer as soon as I'm becomming unable to work. This changed my way of thinking. I have to care much more about myself, getting outside during the breaks and I have to limit my daily work. I'm not feeling responsible for any things and timelines that others promise without asking me.
Most people are afraid that others become angry then. But the opposite happens. They'll only learn to appreciate you and your work once your work isn't done in time and nobody is able to replace you just for fun then. To change me this way prevented the burnout and I'm also a little bit better payd now.

Last edited by quite an extreme on 03 Jan 2019, 9:24 am, edited 1 time in total.

Thanks for all of your replies!

It’s good to know I’m not alone, and I agree it’s a really important topic. I understand that a significant number of people only find out they have ASD following a burnout. This was certainly the case for me and I had been through it several times putting it down to depression / depressive character (blaming myself once more).

I’m currently coming to terms with the fact that I’m not a superhero, and that despite my PhD I am not a polymath genius.

I’ve also realised that I’ve derived so much of my self esteem from other people’s approval, so I’ve put myself last in every negotiation and avoided conflict by giving way.

The fact that this nearly killed me, and that the number of years of *my* life that I have left is counting down, is helping me to say “no more”.

Generally I’m really happy with this, though putting down the addictions I was numbing myself with as well as saying no to obligations and stress does leave a big hole to fill and the question “what next?” is writ large. I’m not who I thought I was, and I can’t safely do the style of work that I thought I enjoyed.

But slowing down is good.

Slowing down without feeling bad about it is the way to go.