Someone having a 'perfect life' makes me feel bad

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Seeing people younger than me (29-30) online posting their 'perfect lives' makes me sometimes makes me feel bad about myself and think they have already achieved their goals and dreams, in jobs where they are the manager of a business, a solicitor or something and having a stress or worry-free life until my age and it makes look like a failure or an under-achiever because I never graduated from uni and that I have wasted my life and a loser by not going out more to clubs and bars to meet people when I don't have any close friends to go out with which I seem to think everyone does on a weekend and I don't really like noisy clubs anyway and I also seem to think that's how people get into relationships because they met in a club.

I didn’t meet any one of my lovers in “clubs.”

I don't know why you're obsessing about graduating from uni, most NT people I know didn't even go to uni. I never went to uni.

Feeling like you're missing out by not going out to bars and drinking is understandable though, because I'd say about 99% of people that I know either go out to bars or used to go out to bars in their younger years. So I feel alienated when people start talking about their clubbing and drinking experiences. Most people I know have been to bars in London, and although it's not my sort of thing, I can't enjoy not liking it, because I feel guilty for not liking it, as it means I am not giving into peer pressure.

OP, are you familiar with the poem: Richard Cory by Edwin Arlington Robinson? If not, you should google it and read it. If you are, you should google it and reread it.

Richard Cory: the man who had everything who thought he had nothing.

There is no such thing as the perfect life. Everybody who has been born to this day has had their own perfect life. Besides, you do not need a perfect life to be happy. The idea of a perfect life popped up in the 1930s and again in the 1950s. I think the idea of a perfect life is so outdated that most people are too free-spirited to even think about the concept, these days.

Jealousy

Resentment

s**t I feel the same way

Please waste less time worrying about them and more time worrying about how you can move your life forward

Someone's life is not always as great as Facebook makes it look

Facade

In any event jealousy gets you nowhere s**t

I’ve fallen into the trap of feeling like my life is bad/everyone else’s life is better because of what I see on social media, but my mom once told me that their lives aren’t always what it appears on the surface.

No one has a perfect life. If other people online sound like they have a perfect life it's only because they're only posting the good things happening in their lives. They might not have such good lives at all. They might even be completely miserable.

But since posting anything good that happens to you can make others judge and hate you, I guess the only other alternative is to post only the bad stuff. That's not too hard in my case.

There is a couple on my wife's Facebook that look like the perfect family based on the photos they post. In reality, the kids have significant issues (including LFA), the parents both have heavy drug and alcohol problems and they have separated three times and counting. Not exactly a 'perfect life'.

I also know someone who is a millionaire (won the lottery at a young age) and another is going from a high paying job to an even higher paying job. Even though they post "perfect" things all the time they are probably the two unhappiest people I know.

Nobody has a perfect life

There is no such thing as a perfect life

Even if their life was perfect, at that time, they could still get shot the next day

Having said that, some lives are better than others

Some lives are better than your life

Some lives are worse than your life


You should not be obsessing over better lives, any more than you should be obsessing over worse lives

When I talk about my life, it may seem perfect - and from my point of view it is. But I could also write a long list about how my life is seriously miserable. I can feel good about my life, or feel bad about it. It is the same life.

I do often find myself comparing my social life to other people's. If I have spent the day with a friend for example, and an NT or even non-NT peer posts on Facebook that they've been out with friends that day too, I still obsess over it and think that their social lives are better than mine or they have more friends than me. People say the number of friends you have or what you do with them doesn't need to be compared with how many friends everyone else has got or what they do with them. I think I have a severe case of FOMO (fear of missing out), and I've had it ever since I was little.

What's "perfect" for one person might be a disaster for another....