How can people allow themselves to be happy despite...

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LaetiBlabla
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30 Dec 2018, 5:48 pm

How can people allow themselves to be happy when they leave in a country where there is peace, when they have enough money, when they have everything to be healthy while they know many people live wars, persecution, poverty and we are running towards a planetary ecological disaster?

I would feel ashamed to enjoy a pleasant life while I know someone is sleeping in the cold outside in my street.



starkid
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30 Dec 2018, 6:03 pm

Well I don't see a reason to be ashamed unless those problems are your fault.

People can be happy because
1. some are sociopaths and don't care,

and/or

2. such problems aren't immediately solvable, so people find coping mechanisms because ongoing misery is insufferable

and/or

3. being concerned about problems doesn't necessarily affect one's emotions



Ichinin
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30 Dec 2018, 6:28 pm

You can only do so much in this world and cannot take responsibility for every bad thing in it so you need to feel bad about living a good life.

If you worry so much about the crap world we live in - do something about it. Give food to homeless people, help strangers with information, build houses for the needing, do charity work, connect people who can help each other if you don't have any skills yourself. That way you can say that "i did something good" and can allow yourself to be at least a bit happy.

I had the same thoughts when i was younger, and it almost drove me to depression. Then i started doing something about it and my outlook on life changed for the better.

Even if you help, it's still a crap world - just a slightly less so. If everyone did the same thing, it wouldn't be so bad.


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LaetiBlabla
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30 Dec 2018, 6:43 pm

Often I see people are saying they are concerned for example of homeless people and then they go and buy all they need and don't need, not making the link between their concern (if we presume they are concerned) and their actions (I would say action rather than emotion) like it is not their problem or their responsibility.

I do what I can about it, I have worked with a lot of caritative associations for many years, I also live a little life standard compared to what I could and give money to support caritative associations, and still I am not happy because the crap is to big and I am disgusted how people make parties next to suffering without caring, my disgust makes me even sadder and I feel people around me are bloodthirsty animals, i'm sorry about that, it is however the way I feel, and it is lasting and increasing for many years now.



colossalfailure
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30 Dec 2018, 7:16 pm

Because you cant do anything about it so its pointless to stress about it tbh



Ichinin
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30 Dec 2018, 7:26 pm

LaetiBlabla wrote:
Often I see people are saying they are concerned for example of homeless people and then they go and buy all they need and don't need, not making the link between their concern (if we presume they are concerned) and their actions (I would say action rather than emotion) like it is not their problem or their responsibility.

I do what I can about it, I have worked with a lot of caritative associations for many years, I also live a little life standard compared to what I could and give money to support caritative associations


Well, then you have done what you can. You cannot make the world perfect. Accept that you have done something and have at least tried to change the world. It's not your fault that people are callous and don't care. If you don't let some happiness into your life, you're going to live a miserable life.


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ToughDiamond
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30 Dec 2018, 10:45 pm

Most people are in many ways rather selfish and competitive, so their willingness to share what they have with others and help them is pretty limited. The poverty and suffering out there is largely invisible and I don't think human nature is all that disposed towards helping people they can't see and aren't close to. Within a family or a small tribe of friends and allies, the individuals are more likely to look after each other. I think a lot of the reason for the apparent selfishness that goes on is the sheer size of the population in many places. Communal compassion might only exist naturally in small groups. Like somebody said, the individual can't expect to make much difference to the suffering and unequal state of the whole world.

I also think pure altruism may be a myth. I guess there's more sharing in a small tribe because it benefits the whole group including the strong ones who support the weak, and everybody in the group can see this process working. But when it comes to progressive taxation in a huge country, the individual often only sees their taxes being taken from them, and they get told about their taxes being wasted on the "undeserving poor" or the enforcement of laws they don't agree with, or the support of the rich. So they often think they're already giving too much and they don't trust the government to spend their money properly. And it's mostly done by force, which adds to the sense of outrage.

There's also a popular ethic that says it's wrong to help "lame ducks" and that doing so is only encouraging slackers to expect handouts, only helping to increase the number of unproductive people. When it comes to helping foreigners, humans are often full of an "us and them" mentality that says "they" aren't our problem and that if "they" are in need then let "their" community or government solve it. If you don't identify with a person, you're less likely to want to help them.

Nonetheless these media-driven charity drives often attract a lot of donations, and even in big cities many people give quite a lot to charity, though curiously they get a lot more donations by doing strange psychological ploys such as sponsored bake-offs, marathon runs, concerts, dinner events with speeches, etc.

Ecological disaster is different because it looks like it will directly affect practically all of us. Of course some folks just don't believe it's happening. If a person is sure we're all running towards an ecological disaster, they're likely to want it to stop, and they might try to influence things if they can think of anything that might be effective. But the individual often is or feels powerless, and I think those people just try not to think about it too much and hope somebody with more power will fix it in time. In my own case I don't feel there's much I can do except to keep my own carbon footprint small. There was a time when I'd have taken direct action such as joining the Quakers' Extinction Rebellion, but I stand to lose more than most if I were to get arrested, for reasons I won't go into here, so I confine myself to being ready to help them in some way if a reasonably safe opportunity arises. I admire their courage.

I don't like myself for failing to do more. I guess I have a strong feeling that my ability to make a significant difference is practically zero. I think we're pretty much living in a capitalist dictatorship run by fatcats who will use all their power to suppress any radical attempt at establishing an egalitarian society. I might vote Labour (or Green if they field a candidate), but I live in a safe Labour seat so my vote won't affect the outcome of the next election, and I don't think the local Labour politicians are committed to doing anything effective about the environmental danger we face or serious redistribution of wealth and power. Even if the UK stopped contributing to global warming, the USA and other large developing countries won't, and I don't even get a vote in that.



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31 Dec 2018, 1:54 pm

You did not cause the problem

You can't fix the problem

You can do your part, but even if you donated all your time, money and energy, to good causes, that would only go so far



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31 Dec 2018, 3:04 pm

LaetiBlabla wrote:
How can people allow themselves to be happy when they leave in a country where there is peace, when they have enough money, when they have everything to be healthy while they know many people live wars, persecution, poverty and we are running towards a planetary ecological disaster?
Because (1) I did not cause those problems, and (2) nothing I can do will solve those problems.
LaetiBlabla wrote:
I would feel ashamed to enjoy a pleasant life while I know someone is sleeping in the cold outside in my street.
Out of all of the times that my wife and I tried to personally get involved and help someone off the street, only one attempt succeeded. All the rest resulted in thefts, property damage, and threats on our lives.

How many schizophrenic, drug-addicted ex-convicts have YOU helped to get off the street?



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31 Dec 2018, 8:27 pm

There is no particular virtue in being a cranky, miserable, depressed, woebegone sack of moldy potatoes.

If you share your happy moments with others, you are doing a social service without spending a cent.


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01 Jan 2019, 7:35 am

LaetiBlabla wrote:
How can people allow themselves to be happy when they leave in a country where there is peace, when they have enough money, when they have everything to be healthy while they know many people live wars, persecution, poverty and we are running towards a planetary ecological disaster?

I would feel ashamed to enjoy a pleasant life while I know someone is sleeping in the cold outside in my street.


I think that majority of people simply don't think about things so deeply... as for me, I can be happy when I'm happy without feeling quilty about it because a) I'm not the reason many others suffer and b) because I am doing my best to take care of others in need. Do I do a lot for others? ...Not really, no, but at the moment I'm simply not cabable of spending much time or money to help others, so I only do what I can. When I'm able to do more I will, but until then I won't feel quilty for not doing something I'm not even able to do.

And this is just my opinion but I don't think you should feel quilty, either. Just do what you can for others and feel proud of what you have been able to do and what you've done instead of beating yourself for what you can't do. You'll have more strenght to help others when you're not weighted down by quilt, too.



Prometheus18
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01 Jan 2019, 7:43 am

As long as I've done what little I can (buying products ethically sourced, voted for ecologically and economically progressive political candidates, etc.) I don't see any real reason to feel personal guilt, though I wish I could do a bit more.



The Grand Inquisitor
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01 Jan 2019, 7:53 am

LaetiBlabla wrote:
How can people allow themselves to be happy when they leave in a country where there is peace, when they have enough money, when they have everything to be healthy while they know many people live wars, persecution, poverty and we are running towards a planetary ecological disaster?

I would feel ashamed to enjoy a pleasant life while I know someone is sleeping in the cold outside in my street.

If you're going to take on the emotional burdens of everyone else on the planet, you'll never be happy. It's one thing to live in planetary proximity of suffering but another entirely for you to directly be causing it. In the former instance, you have no reason to feel guilty for other people's plights. Only if you're causing their suffering do you have any need to feel guilty.



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02 Jan 2019, 12:56 am

1. If I am not happy, I sabotage whatever good I try to do.
2. Some of the happiest people in the world are the poorest.
3. I know I've done more to help than most people, so I don't beat myself up for not managing to save the planet.
4. Remembering people I tried to help. - "The main difference between a man and a dog is that if you pick up a stray dog, and feed him and make him prosperous, he will not bite you." - Mark Twain



DystopianShadows
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02 Jan 2019, 1:49 am

They choose to be happy. If they're happy, they do better at trying to help those around them.


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Benjamin the Donkey
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02 Jan 2019, 4:08 am

BeaArthur wrote:
There is no particular virtue in being a cranky, miserable, depressed, woebegone sack of moldy potatoes.


Are you my wife?


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