Travel excitement is not in the destination

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Yes, that's the point. I travel, but nothing really excites me. I reason it all away.

I'm from the Netherlands, have seen a good deal of Europe. Camping, cottages, mountains and lakes, rarely a beach.

To describe the feeling: if I'm in a wonderful place, like on top of a mountain, I just realise that I've reached what I already knew at the foot of that mountain: yeay, view over other mountains. When in a city, I just realise: yeay a city. Medieval buildings, religious-influenced buildings, bombed-and-rebuilt places. Okay. I'm 35, not an obnoxious teenager!

When travelling alone, there's no real deal; I don't disappoint anyone. I do go to nice places, because the more rare the place, the less crowded it is; upon a mountain, you have unhindered sunshine, no city traffic smog or noise, benches to sit on, and lots of green. I take my favourite book and read for hours. My only reason to travel is the planning I make. I book the train (have drivers license, hate driving), loosely memorize all train itineraries, and go. I feel the reward if I discovered a train route that connects perfectly, if I observe other travellers, daily life, if I end up in distant places, have conversations with coincidental passersby. Planning and serendipity in balance.

When travelling with a (boy)friend, when we reach a beautiful destination I act amazed; I take the mandatory photos, try to hang around for as long as possible. Try not to disappoint him with the thoughts that are running through my head. After a few days, I'm done, and try to hide it. If the guy gets on my nerves, I even get homesick.

A year ago I told myself I was totally happy with it. I was single, travelled alone, accepted my numbness and made the best out of it. But lately I got an NT boyfriend, who loves to travel. He's travelling now, but once he's back, he'll probably want to plan something with me. Although I love to be with him anywhere, I'm very frugal, love the planning part, and not the destination. This is going to be such a disappointment...

Does anyone recognize this? And how to handle it?

Sorry, can't really relate. I'm actually anything but a fan of the planning part since it's stressful 'cause I'm not good at it, especially since my head gets stuck in the "what if this part doesn't work" -thought. Even so, I prefer to do the planning myself 'cause even though I'm no good at it, it gives me a peace of mind when I'm the one who's done it because that's the only time when I know how things should go and what will happen, which will make the trip itself more relaxing.

Yes and no.

The only reason I travel is for recreation (skiing, rock climbing, etc...), I absolutely detest "sightseeing." You will never find me strolling around a city looking at temples or on a guided tour through a cave. It's pointless and boring and there's always too many people. The only reason I travel is to access a different climate that is more optimal for the sports I participate in.

However, I get a lot of anxiety about traveling, it is by definition unpredictable and you are forced to compromise. The way I alleviate my anxiety is by researching everything about where I am going ahead of time and making a lot of lists. For instance, I recently went to Panama on a surf trip. As soon as I bought the flight I cancelled my plans for the rest of the day and made a four section excel document: a "to do" list, travel logistics, surf break details, and a packing list. And this was two months before the trip was scheduled.

My suggestion to you is to find a way incorporate your passions into the travel in order to get excited about it. Maybe you each could make a list of things that would be exciting for each of you and alternate doing activities together between the lists. It is also okay to split up for an afternoon and each pursue your own interests. For instance, when I travel with friends, I wake up early and read while they sleep in, then we all go surf together and make dinner, after dinner they go out to party and I do art instead.