Changing Your Life for the Better (?)

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Anyone feel they've changed their lives for the better? If so, what were you like before and how did you go about improving yourself? No change/improvement is too big or too small to share.

Or maybe you just learned to accept that you are what you are and no longer hope to change.

Finding some old to-do lists from over a decade ago, I'm seeing that I haven't really changed dramatically in the last 10 years (if not longer). Still fall into the trap of old bad habits that I want to change (and have wanted to change) but haven't.

These lists were supposed to be short-term. 10+ years later, it seems I'm making similar lists. Stuff like, "organize your room, your file cabinet; revamp the resume; find some item you know you own but don't know where it is."

Maybe I accomplished these goals short-term, but I haven't improved overall. I'm still making similar to-do lists. Don't know if I'll ever change, though I like the idea of changing. Just don't know if it's possible if the me of 10 years ago is still the me of today.

My life changed for the better a couple of times and worse a couple of times

But not as a result of anything I did

Actually, no matter how much effort I wasted on something, I still failed

My life's a lot better than what it used to be. I fell into a psychotic depression at 20 when my 1st relationship ended. I was also stuck living with my parents who were on my back alot about how I needed to get a job even thou I was applying at lots of places every two months for any job I thought I might could do. I was on psych meds for the next 5 years which I'm sure helped hold me together while I made some changes in my life but in the end I was better off not being on those meds. I joined a support group for people with anxiety, depression, & bipolar. I got my 1st job, left when I started my 2nd 10 months later. Was forced out after two years cuz things kept going downhill. Got my 3rd job half a year later but lost it when I was out too long due to medical reasons. I have a tremor disorder along with lots of other disabilities & didn't feel safe doing certain aspects of the job so I tried to get treatment. The meds made me feel like I was having a stroke & I didn't feel safe returning to work while the waiting around for the docs to figure out what was going on. Anyways I realized it was probably the meds & thought the psych meds were making things worse too so I weaned myself off all the meds. Anyways I started looking for my 4th job & kept putting in apps but had no luck. My parents were on my back about how I wasn't working & blamed me for leaving the ladder two jobs. I was very frustrated & hated being single & kept posting about that during the 5 years I was seeing a psych & still posting a lot about that after. I left a forum cuz I realized it was bad for me since the members got fed up with my posts & started pushing for me to be banned. I had joined other forums which I had problems on too but things weren't as toxic for me. I realized after a while that a lot of my issues I was posting about were related to my Aspegers & a few members on other forums had mentioned this forum so I joined WP. Reading & posting about my issues here helped me feel a little better & I learned & grew from the experience. I eventually met my 2nd girlfriend on here but we were having problems partly because of my unstable mental health. I realized some it was due to anxiety & I researched anxiety meds & decided to try one. Things improved but it was too little too late & she dumped me after half a year of being together. I was having problems getting over her shortly after & realized that & some of my other issues within the realtionship & my 1st were due to my OCD. I researched OCD meds & got on one that is helping a lot. I got in my 3rd relationship(another girl I met on here) shortly after & some of the issues I had within my 1st two relationships weren't nearly as bad with her. Some of it is cuz of the meds & cuz I learned, grew, matured but also cuz she's also kinda needy & clingy. She has various disabilities too but has never really worked & has more benefits than me including housing so I moved to be with her after a while. We've been living together for 6 years now. She noticed that the environment I was living in before with my parents was very toxic for me. Some of it is cuz of the way my parents(especially my mom) treat me & some of it is cuz I cant drive & I lived in a rural area with no public transportation & walking on side the road is unsafe & there's no places within walking distance & my parents gripped about bringing me to places. There's places I can walk to within walking distance of where I live now & I sometimes(used to more than now) go walking for the sake of walking. I get along with my current girlfriend alot better than I do with my parents too so that also helps.

My life so far only got significantly worse twice.
The rest just keeps getting better.


Doesn't help my functioning fluctuates as fast as between days, hours or minutes even.
Too significant to be small, too short lived to be big, too often to happen to just ignore, and too wildly varied to conclude if it's for the best or worse really...

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My life has significantly improved in the last five years. In some ways, I am very much the same, but I now have a very active and well-rounded life. This wasn't the case many years ago.

20 years ago I worked on health issues. Then around 10 years ago I found I was on the spectrum and worked on social issues, including improving the way I dress. While it doesn't matter to many Aspies, how you dress does affect how NTs interact with you.

Looking back over my life, I categorize it into distinct challenges associated with each stage in life. I survived high school. I excelled in college. I worked hard at a marriage, that really was doomed from the start but I stuck it out 20+ years. I had kids; I raised them. I tried to establish a professional career. I coped with a divorce and more significantly, a severe physical disability. I put myself out there and actually remarried, which is a miracle in itself. And my challenge now is to keep life happy while I care for my second husband who has dementia.

My accomplishments? I survived - that's worth listing. I developed stress management techniques. I figured out what I needed to do at different times.

I've had some big failures, but I've survived. And most days, I manage to be happy and live with integrity.

My clothes were too big and didn't complement my jet black hair.

Now my clothes fit much better. I've learned to hem my clothes.
Now I have salt and pepper hair that matches with nearly everything.

My waistline is also a couple inches thinner, though I looked pretty good a decade ago.

The harder I work at improving my life, the better my “luck” becomes.

Isn’t that weird?

I don’t think so.

It might appear that I have improved in executive functioning (my biggest obstacle to working) and my ability to handle sensory, cognitive, and social deficiencies (my biggest struggle in public). But, really, I get support with shelter, food, clothing, medical care, cooking, cleaning, and transportation. I am able to handle my responsibilities 'better' because I have fewer to struggle with. And, thankfully, I get support from the best medical equipment I could ever dream of: my extensively trained Service Dog. I am able to handle the public 'better' because he mitigates so much of it.

Fortunately, between the support and my Service Dog, I have been able to deal with my autistic burnout. Unfortunately, I will lose all of the support, and risk further autistic burnout, if I want to become more independent, and I am losing my Service Dog shortly to retirement with no replacement.

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31st of July, 2013
Diagnosed: Autism Spectrum Disorder, Auditory-Verbal Processing Speed Disorder, and Visual-Motor Processing Speed Disorder.

Weak Emerging Social Communicator (The Social Thinking-­Social Communication Profile by Michelle Garcia Winner, Pamela Crooke and Stephanie Madrigal)

"I am silently correcting your grammar."