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fifasy
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17 Jan 2019, 6:16 pm

I think most Aspies are too naive to understand that NTs don't just have a set of social skills and that they're constantly struggling to gain the upper hand in society, attaining more status and power.

That if Aspies face discrimination from NTs it isn't necessarily because of social skills which you may well have improved from study and practice. It could be because NTs don't want to associate with someone who has less friends and social influence, regardless of said person's personality and social capabilities.

Just my opinion.



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17 Jan 2019, 6:18 pm

OK, but here's plenty of NTs who don't give a rat's about social status.


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BeaArthur
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17 Jan 2019, 6:58 pm

^ what Raleigh said.

Typical of autistic thought is black-and-white thinking ... it's all this or all that. Most real situations are various shades of gray.


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fifasy
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18 Jan 2019, 4:45 am

Okay, I retract the word NT from my initial statement. It's just human beings in general that are like this.



fluffysaurus
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18 Jan 2019, 7:02 am

I agree, there is also a lot of balance for power and bargaining going on. It's not just about being top dog there's also

a constant counting up whether there's more gain from a relationship/friendship/acquaintance than cost. And that

everything within a relationship affects the power balance. It is rare for anything to be done or given without some

sort of expectation by the giver, I struggled to understand this. Now I am very careful as to who I accept favours

from where as before I would only have done this if the person was putting themselves out a lot to help me.



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18 Jan 2019, 7:40 am

I wouldn't go as far as to say that NTs as a group are all like that, but you're definitely on to something there. Some people, before interracting with others, first consider what social or material benefits they can get from interracting with that person. However, I think that the people who conciously do this are a minority.



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18 Jan 2019, 10:09 am

fifasy wrote:
I think most Aspies are too naive to understand that NTs don't just have a set of social skills and that they're constantly struggling to gain the upper hand in society, attaining more status and power.

That if Aspies face discrimination from NTs it isn't necessarily because of social skills which you may well have improved from study and practice. It could be because NTs don't want to associate with someone who has less friends and social influence, regardless of said person's personality and social capabilities.

Just my opinion.


I think they often like to (playfully) test people, check boundaries, and see what they can get away with. NDs can do this too, but it's probably more obvious in NTs since they prefer more social activity/interaction. To me, at least, it seems this is sort of a game to NTs, while I tend to take it more seriously.

Of course, I think some NTs aren't like this, so much, especially if they have a lot of empathy or have had others break their boundaries a lot in the past.



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18 Jan 2019, 10:12 am

fifasy wrote:
I think most Aspies are too naive to understand that NTs don't just have a set of social skills and that they're constantly struggling to gain the upper hand in society, attaining more status and power...
You are describing a behavior that is mostly found in 'Conservatives' and Toxic Males.

I know a lot of NTs who are content to live and let live without trying to impose their values on others.



fifasy
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18 Jan 2019, 10:30 am

Well, the point I was making when I made this thread is that Aspies are generally more socially naive (me too), and that we assume good intentions in people when they aren't always there. I'm saying to people that "Everybody wants to rule the world". That people build power bases. No matter what they tell you, what good deeds they've done, they are up to something. That was my point.



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18 Jan 2019, 10:44 am

fifasy wrote:
Well, the point I was making when I made this thread is that Aspies are generally more socially naive (me too), and that we assume good intentions in people when they aren't always there. I'm saying to people that "Everybody wants to rule the world". That people build power bases. No matter what they tell you, what good deeds they've done, they are up to something. That was my point.
Oh ... an opinion ... carry on, then!

:D



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18 Jan 2019, 1:16 pm

fifasy wrote:
Well, the point I was making when I made this thread is that Aspies are generally more socially naive (me too), and that we assume good intentions in people when they aren't always there. I'm saying to people that "Everybody wants to rule the world". That people build power bases. No matter what they tell you, what good deeds they've done, they are up to something. That was my point.

Aspies are generally more socially naive but that can also mean they assume bad intentions in people when those are not always there. In fact, in these forums, I see people frequently attributing bad intentions when the behavior they describe is not all that clear-cut. People imagine they have detractors, people cut off friendships because they are "toxic" but the interactions cited don't bear that out, we assume that the opposite sex wants or believes something that they don't - we just suck at understanding human behavior.

If you are of a depressive nature, the things you imagine going on in other people will be primarily aversive, while if you are an optimist, you will give people more credit than they deserve.

I would rather be an optimist - a cautious one, though.


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