Is it mostly neurotypicals that hate?
I'm approaching this from a subjective viewpoint, as I can't possibly understand such people except for my hate for only them, but that is recursive. But seriously, besides real-world hate that can end up in murder etc. even on popular series e.g.... not even real live action series, no, they hate a fictional character. Like, how? They're also utterly obsessed with 'MCs' which I never give a damn about, which seems to be a source for the hatred of other characters. How incredibly stupid is it to hate fiction, anyway? That, I assume, translates into hatred for the general 'other' online (this subforum must be the only one where I don't detect malicious threads, all others have been overtaken it seems particularly in the last two years... wonder why, and some are left to do so because hey, if hate has been here for a long time let it fester, I guess) and outside too, of course... so, I wonder, how many people do the most extreme think they can kill before they're captured? No, I bet in their fantasies entire societies support them and so they're going to be the only serial killer who can be left to continue on in their 'job', so to say. When it comes to some countries and times that can actually 'manifest', but then how long until a civil war breaks out? Since clearly all of society wouldn't support them.
I just don't get such people. Even my only hate for them (as little as I try to get, I don't go look for it, merely encounter it as I browse online, like muck spouted from the bowels of oblivion) - the feeling is so self-destructive, I can barely concentrate for a while, and only after catharsis may I move on, but these people self-initiate. They seem to thrive off it, like the air fills it. Do they even feel as if poisoned like I do? How much would they enjoy art if they invest so much in hating its fiction? On that front, I think my only solution is to either not read (but then miss out on some interesting ones too, and these f***s are very much a smaller part), to read after finishing the series so as to not taint my perception of it, or even to watch mostly obscure stuff since the few comments are unlikely to be sordid. But, again, how stupid must people be to hate fiction? Stupidity must be a relation of hatred, as investing so much energy to it must be, at the very least, useless.
kokopelli
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I have problems understanding hate, too.
There are maybe two people in the world that I come close to hating.
One of them destroyed a company that I was a major stockholder (I was the third largest stockholder) in in a very dishonest manner because he owed it some money and didn't want to pay it. If the company was still in existence, it would have easily made me a multimillionaire.
The other was a woman was having a painful medical issue and I loaned some money to her for medicine and for an operation. She promised to pay me back by the end of the year. That never happened. I'd love to run her out of town -- the further she is away from me, the better.
Note that both are essentially thieves who have cost me a lot of money. I also don't like thieves who haven't cost me money, but nothing close to hate.
There are others who I am leery of, but I generally feel sorry for them for their stupidity.
I have no ill will toward anyone over differences of opinion in politics or religion.
When it comes to fiction, in my experience, autistic males struggle to see it as at all real. It's like their logic takes over. Autistic females are the opposite though. We're not deluded like mentally ill people but we find it easy to step into imaginary worlds and sometimes have our own.
From my time on the site, I've learnt this isn't a strict sex divide but generally aspie men go towards the 'it isn't real so I'm not invested' camp.
So you might not see the fiction as being as 'real' as NTs do. That might mean you don't dislike characters who are doing wrong to other characters.
Also you might see the word properly/literally. The word 'hate' is an extreme word but the word 'dislike' is becoming fairly rare to use these days and everyone keeps saying 'I hate this, I hate that'. Personally I dislike a lot of people but I only hate one. The guy I moaned about in haven, essentially the guy who death threated me in real life when I was a teenager and he was an adult.
I'm a huge football fan and I only say I hate about three footballers (number has gone up since I started counting but all of these guys either ended someone's career, was violent to a fan or was violent off the pitch). Everyone else says they hate everyone who ever wore blue. That's stupid. People have jobs and take money and that's life. For me, this hatred I feel isn't even real hate, it's just strong disapproval of for eg having people in the game who are wife beaters or who give money to the UVF. I really dislike them but unless I knew them in person and they were horrible to me, how can I claim to hate them?
I feel like NTs are very group led. But so am I. I think a lot of aspies aren't and this lowers who they can hate. If you see your country as like your family, every time someone is horrible about your country, it feels like a personal attack and leads you to hating them.
But I don't really think healthy NTs hate as many people as they claim to. It's just that the word dislike is seen as weak. When an aspie says they hate someone, often times they actually mean it.
It's the same the other way around. I don't love everyone. NTs act like they do.
I kept asking mum why she ends her texts to everyone with love. It makes me feel sad. Because she should only love her family and her husband. But she ends it to everyone like this, even when we had a cleaner she said it to the cleaner or just to random people, especially women. She also leaves kisses in the texts.
For me every time I write 'x' it means 'I would kiss you right now if you were here'. Every time I write 'love' it means 'I actually love you'. 'Lots of love' is very rare from me.
The worst one about love came from mum's enemy who's her former boss. She treated mum like crap because mum's disabled and needs time off for chemo. When mum left, she left the sort of message (not just 'love' but incredibly soppy crap which bordered on unprofessional) you'd expect in a Valentine's day card. But not one word of 'sorry'. That woman must have genuinely hated mum and vice versa. That woman hated mum because she's disabled, which is a disgusting reason to hate someone.
The person who's confusing me with this whole love business is my pen pal. We're platonic but very close. We're both bi. She keeps ending her letters with 'love' and 'xxx'. But she doesn't love me. At least with straight women I know it's because they can't imagine being into women so they just don't think about it - they tend to be more careful in communication to men. But at some point my pen pal would have written and said and done these same things with a woman and it would have actually meant something, so she's being fake when she does it with me.
I mean I love her too but as a bestie which doesn't count as love. I just like her a lot.
I've been struck by the number of threads here that start "I hate...."
It seems like a very immature way to deal with the world. So you hate thin walls. So do we all. So you hate a landlord who will not fix stuff. Well, then you have a challenge to force them to fix it or to find another place to live. Just falling back to the "I hate" position is so negative and so ineffectual.
So I can't say that it's mostly neurotypicals that hate. Maybe it's immature people with ineffectual coping styles. That's neither the sole province of NTs nor the sole province of NDs.
_________________
A finger in every pie.
It seems like a very immature way to deal with the world. So you hate thin walls. So do we all. So you hate a landlord who will not fix stuff. Well, then you have a challenge to force them to fix it or to find another place to live. Just falling back to the "I hate" position is so negative and so ineffectual.
So I can't say that it's mostly neurotypicals that hate. Maybe it's immature people with ineffectual coping styles. That's neither the sole province of NTs nor the sole province of NDs.
That's objects not people. Except the landlord and that's really hating the broken stuff.
I don't think that's too bad a position to be in.
Depending on the object - if it isn't causing you physical pain or the pain of mental illness - it is immature though.
And someone with noise sensitivity has it worse when there's thin walls than someone without. Sometimes they're in physical pain from it.
If we're broadening it out that far then yes, I hate bright lights which sting my eyes and give me migraines which I don't recover from for days on end.
But that isn't what I mean by hate or what I think OP means, I think OP means hating people.
Some great answers, here, and I know for sure aspies can hate, as I was horribly scapegoated the last time I was here almost four years ago, and personally I know several aspies who can manifest as haters. Actually the climate here now feels to me a lot better, so thanks to anyone and everyone who has done some kind of good work.
***This said, the reason I am responding on this thread: One possible perspective about the imo contrived aspie/nt dichotomy which I consider in many ways to be counter-productive, though maybe in some limited way of value, is this: when one falls into line with that kind of categorizing, then one perceives oneself to be part of a group that is doing the same, and this reinforces some kind of feeling of bonding and identity that many who have felt so alienated are seeking, but it could be a self-defeating loop, a trap. Watch out for the warm and fuzzies, as certain moods of framing, though they may help a person to feel included, can suck one into a quagmire, sort of like having ones possibilities smothered by a pillow.
lostonearth35
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kokopelli
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It seems like a very immature way to deal with the world. So you hate thin walls. So do we all. So you hate a landlord who will not fix stuff. Well, then you have a challenge to force them to fix it or to find another place to live. Just falling back to the "I hate" position is so negative and so ineffectual.
So I can't say that it's mostly neurotypicals that hate. Maybe it's immature people with ineffectual coping styles. That's neither the sole province of NTs nor the sole province of NDs.
I don't think that the meaning is the same when talking about hating an object or process instead of people.
For example, I hate standing in line. That doesn't mean that I harbor ill will for lines. It is essentially nothing more than an emphatic expression of my preference and an indication that I am more likely to avoid a line, if possible.
It seems like a very immature way to deal with the world. So you hate thin walls. So do we all. So you hate a landlord who will not fix stuff. Well, then you have a challenge to force them to fix it or to find another place to live. Just falling back to the "I hate" position is so negative and so ineffectual.
So I can't say that it's mostly neurotypicals that hate. Maybe it's immature people with ineffectual coping styles. That's neither the sole province of NTs nor the sole province of NDs.
I don't think that the meaning is the same when talking about hating an object or process instead of people.
For example, I hate standing in line. That doesn't mean that I harbor ill will for lines. It is essentially nothing more than an emphatic expression of my preference and an indication that I am more likely to avoid a line, if possible.
For an average person (some aspies are different and some mentally ill people are different) it isn't really hate even then. It's dislike. Most people dislike queues, although what I dislike about queues is queue hoppers.
Things I hate include mum's disease. My grandma's death. My granddad being so addicted to cigarettes he won't stop smoking even though he had a heart attack. On a smaller level they include migraines and my social anxiety. Physical pain. Or mental pain like my social anxiety when I couldn't talk to anyone but mum, I hate that that happened and I hate that I got bullied at school and wanted to self harm and the girls didn't get excluded.
If I were to list everything I dislike I'd be here all day.
Same the other way around with things I like.
It's a bit like how every review on Amazon is a one star or five star review and the 2-4 star reviews are rarer. We need to get back to a situation (all of us, aspie and NT alike) where it's ok to say 'I dislike this', 'I like this', 'this is nice', 'this is a bit annoying' rather than throwing around extremes for everything. Cos it's a bit like crying wolf.
Perhaps I shouldn't have speculated one group is more likely to hate, no, that is what happens within the process itself to insulate and dehumanize, and maybe everyone can indeed end up hating viscerally and irrationally to the point of murder, but why is it I can't even begin to understand how anyone can even remotely hate a cartoon? Let alone whole groups of people. And while my usage of groups was speculating towards the possibility that people with the 'majority' of psychology may be inclined one way or another, what hateful people seem to do is even more insidious it seems, i.e. assign responsibility to groups of the action, or even prejudiced hypotheticals, of just one. That'd be like saying "one NT killed someone, so all NTs are killers!" - which no one ever said. But to a 'real' group (call them haters collectively, all with different motives) the action of one is perfectly fine to hate a whole group for.
So, is this a mindset anyone can fall to at any time? Because it seems to me like some form of malicious psychosis. Not that it's genetic and they can't help it, which schizophrenics are, but is it really so likely that anyone can fall to this irrational 'spell'? And so, is this really an uncategorizable group?
The way you're categorizing is too over-generalized and/or generalized in the wrong way, and so kind of muddled. A better way to put it might be to present, as a beginning premise, that ignorant people are more likely to hate. But then it is necessary to define what is meant by ignorant. We could define ignorant in this context as not being knowledgeable of how things work most effectively in human relationship to the benefit (happiness and well-being) of the greatest possible amount of people. This said, some groups of people are probably more likely to be ignorant then other groups, sure, but then to get anywhere with this line of reasoning it would be necessary to inquire into why.
Then there is the question of dislike. Is dislike the same as hate? The mind does function by negative and positive impressions. People like doing what is pleasurable to themselves and when they are thwarted by others, especially, by their own assessment, irrationally or unjustly thwarted (though they themselves may sometimes be the one who is irrational), then there is a strong negative response. I think a better way to try to sort things out is to look at it in terms of anger. Most people get angry under certain circumstances and think that is okay, but is anger really functional? It can fuel a revolution, but then that can turn back into the opposite, as we see time and time again.Maybe hate is a form of anger that is more intense, but someone who does get angry may have an image of themselves as not hating.
One thing I personally have trouble with, with is people who try to approach from the middle ground without understanding or being connected to both ends of the stick. Also, this kind of puts them at the center, where they do not have enough knowledge of how things work to be able to maintain any kind of stasis without pulling others into a kind of trance. I see a lot of that on this forum, and to me it is a way of over-generalizing that is a form of escape. If you try to fully engage then that will use up the energy that could be harnessed to try to really accomplish something. This said, I think it is of worth to be in a state of question, but it would help to know exactly what the question is so as to be able to state it clearly, and sometimes the answer might be the presentation of a way, meaning a particular approach, so if you learn the approach and apply its method, then you will have a practical method that can be applied to many situations and solving many problems.
