Is there an effective way to get people to not bang doors?
Posters etc. obviously seem to not work. Only thing I do that I also use as a cathartic release is the counterintuitive counter-bang. If I bang even more forcefully surely they'll realize? But no, instead I got a note claiming I've woken her children. So if I'm woken up that is fine, fine, but not waking them up! Of course, since there are two flats and only one of them presumably banged the door a few seconds before I might have woken up the others, but the principle applies, if my bangs had that effect the others should too.
I can close these doors like I'm no one slipping out, with barely a hiss. Do they care about that? Of course not, "bang away because we're lazy bastards!"
I hate people.
Are people actually complaining about you banging on your door? Do you mean by closing it without it making a bang sound?
There are weird people out there and they are basically complaining about stuff that is part of living like you can't expect people to not walk in their own apartment or even tip toe or not use their toilet or flush or not shower or even cook, etc. Everyone has different schedules so not everyone can just shower in the day time or not cook in the middle of the night or early morning. This would be a building problem, not a neighbor problem. It's either get used to it or don't live in an apartment. And of course, no one is going to close the door like they are trying to sneak out. They will just close it normally, it's not like they are slamming it. Maybe when it's the middle of the night, they may do it quietly because it's called courtesy but in the day time, no.
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Son: Diagnosed w/anxiety and ADHD. Also academic delayed and ASD lv 1.
Daughter: NT, no diagnoses. Possibly OCD. Is very private about herself.
I had advice in the past to retaliate. It made things 10x worse. Do not retaliate with a counter bang. To them it is just everyday noise, but when you counter bang immediately, they see it as you being deliberate, then it makes them angry. I know, I have had plenty of experience with noisy neighbours.
Also, I learned the hard way that the way you approach them is to talk to them in a friendly way, ask how they are, talk about them and their children (urgh, I know), then s-l-o-w-l-y come around to the subject that you have heard various bangs in the night, and this is important - you say you don't know where it's coming from. Trust me, again, this is NT territory and etiquette. You need to stick to their rules of socialising in this situation.
NTs work by hints. What you would be doing above is hinting to them, and taking away the burden from them that they are responsible for it. Think of them as children, they will retaliate if you make them look bad.
Listen to the above advice. It works.
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I've left WP.
Last edited by smudge on 08 Feb 2019, 5:03 am, edited 1 time in total.
You don't happen to live in the same apartment building as me and my boyfriend, do you? Because we have neighbours that bang doors all day long, and sometimes in the night, and one person in the building complained. I get annoyed when people slam the doors, they open the main door as wide as it can go then let it swing shut behind them and it slams shut so loudly that it literally shakes the whole building. When I go through the main door I try to shut it quietly, I don't mean creep in and out, but I try to be less noisy and consider other people.
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Female
smudge, I can't possibly have that much patience, add in the fact I dislike talking to strangers, especially ones I'm forced to live near, and I kind never talk to anyone unless they make the initiative, and if they've just banged doors I'm even less likely to be patient.
And nah Joe, I'm not in Essex.
You asked for an effective way, well there it is. Prepare yourself for a lot of arguing, including having the other neighbours hate you for retaliating. Boy, it will be fun for you. I can't believe you would use the excuse of not having enough patience.
Edit: Sorry I snapped at you. I have had a hard time of noisy neighbours and I had an idea of how to deal with them. It's up to you what you want to do of course.
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I've left WP.
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