Hitting One's Self Outside of Meltdowns

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Does anyone else feel an overwhelming need to hit themselves outside of meltdowns? Inside meltdowns, I usually hit my head or my thighs; however, the desire to hit my thighs also occurs outside of meltdowns. This happens more often when I am in a depressive episode or when I think a thought that I feel deserves punishment or I forget a specific date from Sylvia's life or when I feel dirty or I feel stupid or inadequate or I feel like i have changed in some way. I have been thinking lately that I might also be OCD on top of my autism as though many of my compulsions bring me comfort, some of them bring me distress. One of these upsetting compulsions is the need to hit myself; my boyfriend hates it and says that it hurts him to see me hurt myself, but I feel that I cannot go on and continue as a person until I complete the self-punishment.

Is this normal autistic behavior?

For me it’s usually if I quickly remember something I forgot to do, it’s like an automatic response to unexpected stress or embarrassment (or any strong negative emotion for that matter I think?) What you’re describing though sounds more like a self harm thing though. I used to self harm by cutting and a lot of times it was for control, and as punishment, like you described.

Hopefully, you find some healthier comping mechanisms though. I find that drawing random dooles on myself or a piece of paper really helps with the urge to self harm. If you have any animals spending time with them can help too. Any hobby of yours really, that can distract you from the urge I think is helpful as long as it’s not destructive.

I have the compulsion to hit myself if I get angry or frustrated with something. I don't think I've ever experienced real meltdowns, but I can get triggered by certain sensory issues sometimes and I don't know what to do except hit my thighs or squish something in my hand really hard. This only happens when I'm at home though and I never do it infront of people. I go to my room and do it there.

Obviously it's not good to hit myself, but I find it effective to ease the tension and it's not really with the intention to hurt myself. It just feels good for some reason.

Though I used to cut myself, hit my head and strangle myself when I was younger and that was with the intention to hurt myself, but that was also a way to ease the emotional pain and punish myself.

At least hitting my thighs won't leave any scars, but I should probably find better coping mechanisms...