Do you take things personally?

Post Reply New Topic

I seem to have this thing were I take stuff personally so easily, and I dont know if it's related to the Aspergers or, something else that's happened in my past. Is anyone else like this, and if so how do you manage it?

Sometimes I take things too personally. Most autistics move through life in a bubble where they see how an event affects them, but often don't see it in the larger context. That leads to taking things personally that were never meant to have that kind of targeted impact.

But I learned an important lesson in my psychology studies. Another person's behavior says much more about them, than about you.

How do you deal with that? I find my automatic response is to take things personally, and its starting to annoy me.

No I don’t care what people think.

In between an event and your reaction, there's always a short gap of time, maybe a second or ten seconds. In that time, when you feel your gorge starting to rise, you can apply a "rule" from your tool bag. Here are some of the "rules":

- Maybe that receptionist is having a bad day. I'll overlook it.
- Wow, is this store always this unfriendly? I think I might shop elsewhere next time.
- I am being treated unfairly... but I'm having a good day overall and don't want this to ruin it.
- (to a companion) Is it just me, or is that waiter being a jerk?

But notice, one doesn't always handle every situation equally well, and it's good to be able to forgive oneself for over-personalizing.

By the way, Inquisitive Jay, I like your avatar photo. Very nice!

Definitely and I am very sensitive to criticism and when people raise their voice. I can even take offence when someone else is being called out and I am not involved what so ever, I don't know why...

I am nonresponsive to praise and criticism.

Yes, I do.

It's more than I'm pedantic really. I'll try to argue the point on something that probably seems trivial to most people.

I do take things personally, not all things, but a lot of things, especially when double standards are obvious. I sometimes feel like I am a target, someone people with issues think they can use as a punch bag. I feel like I look this certain way that makes people invalidate my feelings. I do understand that other people can be the jerks, or have emotional issues or whatever, but I also feel like they take it out on me.

I think it comes from the "it's all right for them to do it but when you do it it's not all right" cliche that I get on online forums. It's very frustrating. It's drummed into me that it's never OK to be rude no matter how bad a day you're having, but if someone else is rude to you it's OK if they're having a bad day. It's like I've got to put myself in their shoes all the time but they don't need to put themselves in my shoes.

I believe most people do take things personally, except for the narcissistic types maybe. I don't think it's just exclusive among Aspies.

Yes I take things personally. People keep telling me not to but to no avail.

That is great advice.

Always trying to take a breath and consider before you react to something will certainly save you some misunderstandings and unnecessary hurt.

As for myself, I use to take a lot of things personally but not so much anymore. Partly I ended up being so fearful of showing how something affected me I kind of forced myself to stop caring so much(thicker skin), spent time trying to put myself in their shoes to understand their intentions, and improving my mental/emotional health. I probably take more than I ought to in my efforts to be understanding and patient. One plus is sometimes I completely miss when people try to make a dig xD

Yes because a lot of the time, I am in the minority

Idiots have the nerve to tell me that "you make people uncomfortable with the way you dress!"

That dickhead did not know any crossdressers, just me

He referred to me as "you". He called himself "people". But he does not represent "people"

"People" means two or more

But it sounds like all seven billion



f**k mister redelings

I think we all do, including neurotypicals. The difference is they're better at making it look like they are uncaring and they handled a criticism well, while we display the emotion without realizing. In some sense, people around me actually seem to take things a lot worse but know how to "save face".

I do when someone is actually being personal.

Sometimes when someone gets personal and tries to evaluate me and I believe they are incorrect, I feel the need to correct them.

I am bothered by people getting personal in threads where debating a topic is involved, because you're not supposed to get personal in situations like that.

I tend to view such things in an academic rather than emotional way.

Great advice, I am going to try put this into practice more.

Thanks for the comment on my pic