Page 1 of 1 [ 8 posts ] 

imdoneone
Raven
Raven

Joined: 30 May 2018
Age: 29
Gender: Male
Posts: 119
Location: Bronx, NY, United States

22 Feb 2019, 3:32 am

Should I support my autistic son or daughter if they transition to either male/female or female/male?



magz
Veteran
Veteran

User avatar

Joined: 1 Jun 2017
Age: 41
Gender: Female
Posts: 16,283
Location: Poland

22 Feb 2019, 3:52 am

It depends. They may be real trans or they may be confused about gender. You need to figure it out.
Here viewtopic.php?t=373429 is a story of the latter.


_________________
Let's not confuse being normal with being mentally healthy.

<not moderating PPR stuff concerning East Europe>


valarmorghulis
Tufted Titmouse
Tufted Titmouse

Joined: 8 Jul 2018
Age: 42
Gender: Female
Posts: 31

22 Feb 2019, 6:32 am

I used to identify as a transgender for years and went to seek transition but stopped the process. That was years before I knew about my autism. It turned out I am not transgender. I just felt so strongly that I am not like other women and I don't understand them that I misinterpreted this experience. Now I know it's related to autism. So I would say, be extremely cautious. There can be many reasons behind. Transition is physically irreversible.



BTDT
Veteran
Veteran

User avatar

Joined: 26 Jul 2010
Age: 63
Gender: Non-binary
Posts: 8,488

22 Feb 2019, 8:49 am

Which is why puberty blockers are useful for giving the child time to make an informed decision.

I think sometimes people on the spectrum hope that social interaction issues will be solved if they transition to the other sex. I don't think this ever happens. They need to solve their social interaction issues before transitioning.



skibum
Veteran
Veteran

User avatar

Joined: 18 Jul 2013
Age: 59
Gender: Female
Posts: 8,498
Location: my own little world

23 Feb 2019, 5:22 pm

You should always support your child no matter what. Even if you don't agree with what s/he wants to do, you can explain why you don't agree and help him or her understand your perspective but even so a child needs to feel supported. Even when we discipline our children we have to do it in such a way that they understand why we are doing it and feel supported. But transgender is a complex issue. Depending on your child's age, there are different ways to handle it. If your child is truly a transgender, it will happen no matter what you want or think and helping your child through the process will be a good thing. If your child is just confused, it is important to understand this and work through it. But either way, your child needs to feel supported by you. It does not matter if your child is Autistic or nt, whatever his or her gender issues are, you need to support him or her through understanding them.


_________________
"I'm bad and that's good. I'll never be good and that's not bad. There's no one I'd rather be than me."

Wreck It Ralph


CockneyRebel
Veteran
Veteran

User avatar

Joined: 17 Jul 2004
Age: 51
Gender: Male
Posts: 121,175
Location: In my own little country

23 Feb 2019, 8:20 pm

I think that you should support whatever your child wants you to. I grew up transgender in the 70s and 80s when being trans was still scornfully looked down upon. Every time an adult asked me what I wanted to be when I grew up, I always told them that I wanted to be a man. I hated being female and I still hate it to this day. At least I can choose to be male on WP. The thing I hate most about it is being seen as weak, even though I'm the strongest of my original family unit. I also hated seeing the real ladies around me with their thin-plucked eyebrows and their high-pitched voices. Every time my dad told me that something wasn't ladylike or told me of different alcoholic drinks that "ladies" can enjoy, I had this lump in my throat like I was really going to cry. I attempted suicide at the age of 14 by drinking a bottle of Vick's vaporizer oil because the pain got to be too much and I also had to deal with such sexpectations and stereotypes every day during my first year of high school. My school had grades 8 to 12. Anyone who didn't fit into a neat, little pink or blue box was branded a ret*d by their less tolerant peers. I've hidden the fact that I'm trans and that I prefer Germany over Britain for 37 years and it got to the point that I started wearing actual German helmets three years ago. I'm known as Sgt. Schultz around my area and I'm quite proud of it and I find it quite funny.


_________________
The Family Schlager


valarmorghulis
Tufted Titmouse
Tufted Titmouse

Joined: 8 Jul 2018
Age: 42
Gender: Female
Posts: 31

24 Feb 2019, 12:53 am

It seems we understood differently what supporting means here. I definitely agree with skibum. I took it in a "yes I accept your gender identity as valid without questioning" way, which seems to be more and more common in these days.



magz
Veteran
Veteran

User avatar

Joined: 1 Jun 2017
Age: 41
Gender: Female
Posts: 16,283
Location: Poland

24 Feb 2019, 4:59 am

CockneyRebel wrote:
I think that you should support whatever your child wants you to. I grew up transgender in the 70s and 80s when being trans was still scornfully looked down upon. Every time an adult asked me what I wanted to be when I grew up, I always told them that I wanted to be a man. I hated being female and I still hate it to this day. At least I can choose to be male on WP. The thing I hate most about it is being seen as weak, even though I'm the strongest of my original family unit. I also hated seeing the real ladies around me with their thin-plucked eyebrows and their high-pitched voices. Every time my dad told me that something wasn't ladylike or told me of different alcoholic drinks that "ladies" can enjoy, I had this lump in my throat like I was really going to cry. I attempted suicide at the age of 14 by drinking a bottle of Vick's vaporizer oil because the pain got to be too much and I also had to deal with such sexpectations and stereotypes every day during my first year of high school. My school had grades 8 to 12. Anyone who didn't fit into a neat, little pink or blue box was branded a ret*d by their less tolerant peers. I've hidden the fact that I'm trans and that I prefer Germany over Britain for 37 years and it got to the point that I started wearing actual German helmets three years ago. I'm known as Sgt. Schultz around my area and I'm quite proud of it and I find it quite funny.

What you describe is an awfully intolerant society. I mean, I'm female and it's just my reproductive capability, the rest I choose - strength, loud and low-pitched voice, natural heavy eyebrows, no make-up, heavy boots, loose pants and my trademark checked shirt... That's me, that are most of my female friends, it's not the midpoint of the social norm but it fits within it.
I don't need to be transgender in a society that accepts grown-up tomboys.


_________________
Let's not confuse being normal with being mentally healthy.

<not moderating PPR stuff concerning East Europe>