Anyone who hasn't achieved aspired goals in their 20s ?

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Hearing from somebody who is 23 and has a career, job and life they aspired to achieve along with a relationship with someone, has many friends, a car and place of their own makes me feel still like at 29, an underachiever and a nobody even though I work still part time not full time in a retail book store and that maybe I should have been doing this work 5 years ago and I've just wasted my time. At 22 - 23, I was still unemployed having left university due to stress working there for four months. I've been trying for a few years to write my own history book and so far I still haven't written anything because of changing ideas for it and it is frustrating.

Probably most of us here.

Hah, I've given up on any possible ideals, actually... not so much ones that inspire me once in a while but would take a sustained effort like using RPGMaker, or indeed writing a book (or combine both), that can be done alone in one's time anyway.

But external goals? Commuting to unis hours away, paying thousands for that honour? Yeah, right, the supposed 'intelligence' that made me interested in a possible academic area also made me realize it's hopeless, because society makes it so. Conservatives here officially mothballed plans for a local uni, because their motto the world over is "got mine, f**k you", of course... and besides that not only do I not have some magical financial means (how, though, did I end up in one of the few places where it costs?) - and it's magical, because apparently a friend told me his daughter magically ended up meeting some mysterious benefactor that paid all her fees and so wouldn't need to pay it back for thirty years with additionals. Well, besides financial nonsense geography is a serious issue, and besides that having no support network is the hammer in the coffin. I nearly quit local college due to a half an hour commute... longer than that? Impossible.

But man, I'd probably make an innovative neuroscientist if only I could...

Nobody is where they want to be at the age of twenty; it's hormones and there's nothing ojective or true about it, but rather, in our narcissistic age, everybody wants to be a wealthy superstar, and he wants it now, and he doesn't want to put in any effort to achieve it.

You probably won't want to hear it, but you'll get nowhere in life comparing yourself to others because there'll always be someone better off and more successful than you:

Envy consists in seeing things never in themselves, but only in their relations. If you desire glory, you may envy Napoleon, but Napoleon envied Caesar, Caesar envied Alexander, and Alexander, I daresay, envied Hercules, who never existed.

Bertrand Russell

You know, I recently actually went through this sort of 'delusion' of sorts (I mean, not entirely deluded, but systematically impossible to do on one's own) when it came to the attraction of esports... so, I played LoL for an entire year somehow and that only resulted in the equivalent of five consecutive wins in total... but, of course, it's a team game, and there are so many instances of disconnections, people deliberately dying 18 times that it's even impossible for two 'carries' to win... then I started Mobile Legends, and as such as the more popular counterpart hates it for initially ripping off it it implemented AI in case of disconnections, which is better than 4v5, and also 'protection points' and separate protection whenever a teammate goes offline, and guess what, I ended up ranked in the middle of all ranks (so-called 'grandmaster', although it's hilariously by far not as prestigious as the same title in chess or such)... but, of course, it's a relatively unknown game, and they only hold professional competitions in Asia, which would be arduous to get to... and ultimately, who cares. Even LoL isn't the most prized esports despite being the most popular (with all its shortcoming), D2 has the most prize money... but then it's held in the country where shootings are a sport in themselves and just last year a football video game competition resulted in two shot dead, so... I'd rather be alive than participate in this, and at any rate all these MOBAs have the same problem when it comes to team compositions... no one can control another person... well, at least their characters can be in D2 if one can manage to control both yours and theirs, so that is an improvement from LoL... but if all 4 go afk it's utterly impossible unless one is some godly multitasker.

My goal was to go to grad school as soon as I finished my bachelor's. I got that in 2015 but have yet to go to grad school. My dream was always to get my doctorate in psychology, but my functioning level right now, and being on disability due to being unable to work, is making me wonder if it's possible.

I'm asexual and never wanted a relationship or children, but I am watching all my high school friends get married, buy houses and have kids, and it does make me feel immature and juvenile in comparison. I guess this is why they call autism a developmental disability.

I used to visualize myself in my 20's being married to this girl I knew online, having a family with her, playing in a band, and doing cool drawings for whatever reason. The girl broke ties with me, my chances of being a father are practically over, I couldn't join a band or get one started because the serious musicians I knew already had commitments while the non-serious ones lost interest or just stuck to Rock Band, and my drawing ability never evolved because others were always better than mine and I felt like I was lackluster. My 20's are gone and I still feel like the lonely 17 year old feeling sad in his room while his older brother is throwing parties.

My advice to you is this: Do not give up on your dreams, even if they sometimes seem impossible to reach. I had to use that piece of advice over and over again while working for my PhD. It took me much longer than I planned, but it did work out in the end. I wish you good luck on your quest for your goals.





If you think that is bad, wait until your high school classmates start having grandchildren. I have faced that fact already. I am the only one in my graduating class that never got married or had kids. Most of them have been married multiple times and have multiple kids/step kids to deal with. In some ways, I makes me feel both old and young at the same time. They live in a totally different world that I cannot relate to anymore.

So it is considered best to complete your life’s goals (meaning your most important goals?) all in your 20’s?

OK, if you accomplish that, then what happens in your 30s, 40s, 50s and 60s? Nothing? Just stagnation or go downhill after 30?

I think it’s really best to have Life’s Most Important Goals throughout every decade of your whole life.
Really think about living fully throughout the long long term..

Not try to fit into some mass society’s general expectation of people in their 20s.

So don’t worry if you haven’t “accomplished” the same things as other people at the same age and pace.
This is just group conformity pressure. An unnecessary emotional stress to put on your shoulders.

Carve out you own wonderful life path, at your own unique pace, by your own unique standards.
If you live your own life well enough, other people will be yearning for your accomplishments.

Did not get:

Structural engineering. (largest one)
Ftm
Friends
Job


And the longer it's been since last job, the more unemployable

Same with ftm

I'm 28 and I'm still in menial jobs, although I do enjoy my job because it suits all of my needs. One thing that does confuse me is someone I know has 3 children, all in their 20s/30s, and have very high-paid careers - but as teenagers they all bunked off school and got into drugs, and failed to turn up to their exams and so didn't graduate from school. But now they are all in really good jobs. I really don't know how that worked out, as I have always been told that studying hard and earning good grades will mean I will have a better chance of a good career in life. But apparently grades and knowledge are useless, as long as you know the right people to get into these jobs and get promoted without having to make an effort.
The "it's not what you know, it's who you know" cliche is very unfair in society.

At age of 29 I'm still only trying to understand what kind of goals I have.

My goals In my early twenties ... first, it was to get a degree in architecture, then, to move to Japan. Achieved both of them by age 28. Then, as the goals were completed, I was faced with having to continue living the life I had chosen. Wasn't prepared for that. I'm 32 now and still living in Japan. Life gets both better and duller in your 30s.

Chasing dreams is fine, but don't forget a dream turned reality is no longer a dream.

Gave up on "life" altogether about as we 21.

35 right now

Goals have to be:

Self maintenance and recovery training support group

Specific
Manageable
Attainable
Realistic
Timeabale


Too lazy

Well I'm only in my midtwenties right now, but am nowhere near where I thought I'd be at this age when I was a teenager... I honestly thought that by the age of 24 I'd have a good enough job that I wouldn't have to count every cent and that I'd be in a serious relationship with some guy, living together with him and perhaps married. I also used to think that I'd have my first child around this age... reality? Part time job with a short term contract and no relationship. And obviously, no child. The only thing about this that actually worries me is that I might not find a suitable man before biology decides that time's up for me when it comes to having children... other than that, I'll manage somehow even though life isn't how I want it to be.

I would have a child but my severe emetophobia is preventing me.