Conversing with Autism

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My younger sister has autism. She has the meltdowns and the stress and the odd way of talking. My mother is constantly telling me of all the ways that my sister reminds her of me. (Despite this, they still refuse to get her diagnosed, but that's an issue for another day.)

As another autistic individual, my sister and I get along like nobody's business. I can't quite describe it, but it's almost like I can read her mind. The conversations we have are so smooth, and I always know what she's talking about, even if she can't quite spit it out.

Do you guys have any fellow autistic people that you talk to, and do you notice how easy it is to converse with them? Why can't NTs be this smooth?

I go to social skills group with a number of other autistic people. Some of them are great to talk to, because they understand my quirks first hand, and don't notice or don't care about the missed social cues. Some of them are annoying because they're pedantic, interrupt all the time, and only ever talk about their special interest, even when no one else cares.

As a matter of curiosity, are you saying you're diagnosed but your sister isn't? Why don't your parents want to assess your sister when they did it for you? Or did you get your own assessment as an adult?

At the meet ups that I've gone to specifically for autistic people; some I got along with great, some I just didn't click with, same as StarTrekker said. When I told friends about my diagnosis, I discovered that two other people among us had also been diagnosed around the same time as me. I'd known both of them for years by then, but none of us was any closer to the others than with the rest of the group, and none of us had independently guessed that we shared the same diagnosis. I do also have one other friend with whom I do discuss autism and how it affects me very deeply; he is undiagnosed at the moment, and not certainly autistic, but has faced very similar social and mental health problems. The way that he so easily understands what I tell him about my experiences, and me his, makes us both suspect that he is neuro-diverse, if not autistic (he's hoping for a formal assessment ASAP.)

It's probably a sibling thing. I have an nt cousin I was raised with and the level of communication and understanding between us has always far exceeded what I've had with anyone else.

My 2nd & current girlfriend are both on the spectrum & I find communication with them alot easier than with anyone else. Well I found conversation went alittle better with my 1st girlfriend but that's a special case. She had bad ADHD & sever dyslexia & I have those things as well except ADD instead of ADHD. We really connected because of that & having lots of similar interests. We had lots of misunderstandings in communication sometimes(we were long distance & chatted online alot) but we discussed things instead of getting upset with each other over it & we were able to laugh about it.

In response to StarTrekker, I have not been diagnosed. Living on my own, I've been too busy between working and going to college to get diagnosed, though I'm certain by this point. I have spoken to a psychiatrist specializing in those on the spectrum who gave me a quasi-diagnosis that he was also certain I am on the spectrum, but apparently he can't give real diagnoses? (I've also been putting it off because I have a fear of needles, which leads to an avoidance of hospitals.)

Either way, this was something that my parents had always had a feeling about. When I was a child, they had the excuse of being too poor to get me checked out, I suppose. When I was a teen, they were more financially stable, and my mother was the one who started looking into autism, so they had an inkling. However, at that time, they told me than a diagnosis would just prevent me from finding a job, and ignored it.

My sister may or may not be on the spectrum, but the meltdowns and social issues prove that something is wrong. Being that a sibling is on the spectrum, they have even more reason to check her out, but they still refuse.

I find most (But not all) autistic people easier to get along with.
It's the double empathy problem. Minds closer to ours ease that.