Are you asocial?

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I have always struggled with socializing. Even when i was very young. When i started going to school, it was nearly impossible for the teachers to get me to socialize with the other kids. Over my entire life, I have had maybe a handful of friends, and every one of them didn’t last long. I have a very hard time keeping any type of relationship going. Today, I can socialize much better than ever before, but only because i have had a lot of therapy and have been working on it a lot. Basically though, my socializing is just mimicking what i have seen others do over the years. I don’t actually socialize much though. I am at home by myself most of the time. When i am not i am usually at work. I work in a library, and my job requires very little social interaction. I only really socialize if it’s unavoidable. I would definitely say I am asocial. Very introverted too.

The best way to describe me-----is as a person who is "awkwardly social."

Not until sixth grade



Social rejection galore



Crave socializing and friends


But after all that social rejection, it doesn't seem worth the cost benefit analysis

For me I tend to avoid people and pursue a very solitary lifestyle but try to allow very select people in, and even to find people. In fact, I'd consider my ideal social situation to be a very tight "pack" of friends, which would be the best word to describe it, though I don't know how to go about assembling a "pack" (Quotes are used to make it less weird haha). This close circle includes my family. This is how our ancestors did it anyway, with the extended family involved, and studying prehistory gives you some cool life tips, things we've forgotten today in our massive social circles, painfully sedentary lifestyles, and social media pages with hundreds of barely acquainted friendships.

But to answer the question, yes, I am very asocial unfortunately. I avoid unnecessary conversation and I'm cold and avoidant of people, or I'm too friendly, I can't really control which. It turns a lot of people away or makes them aggressive, and I'm aware of this but still working on making myself more likeable.

My reason is simply for my own protection. I've been exploited numerous times, beat up a few times too because I'm simply unaware of anything related to cues and didn't see the aggression coming. I acknowledge that I have a difficulty/disability and like someone who is blind or someone who has depression or bipolar disorder I try to compensate by adjusting my lifestyle. The society I live in thankfully only recommends ways to behave, but does not force me, and I'm grateful or that.

I have become asocial due to my experiences with trying to socialize. I was in fact an overly outgoing child but as interactions became more taxing and bullying grew worse I withdrew.

I'm asocial and always have been. Being social is something that has never been turned on in me.

I've always preferred doing my own thing or be in my own mind (daydreaming).

Childhood: I had one friend who lived next door. I didn't play with him daily and spent all my other time playing by myself contentedly. Our friendship started to taper off around early adolescence.

Ages 12-14: I struggled socially and had a desire to "fit in" or align with a group mainly to stop being singled out and bullied. I had little success.

Ages 15-21: My most social period. I had girlfriends (romantic/physical relationships) and from 18-21 three close male friends.

Ages 21-26 (roughly) I was down to one of the three close male friends but I married at 26 (if I recall correctly).

Ages 26-29 (roughly) Still had the one male friend but divorced.

Ages 29-present. Lost touch with the one male friend after I moved away. Remarried in 2001. Still married but since 2001 I have had no flesh and blood friends at all.

Friends served a purpose helping me to navigate through my young adult years as well as providing friendship. I have many positive experiences and memories with those friends. Since that time, I have not had any strong desire to start a new close flesh and blood friendship and conversely I have not felt a longing or sadness of not having a flesh and blood friend. I'm busy enough trying to do my best in life with work and family

I do accept that perhaps I would feel differently if I was single now, but I'm not sure about that. I was single during the period between my marriages and I was not lonely in the least. I distinctly recall that when I did have some desire for human interaction, going to the grocery store and "bumping elbows" (figuratively) with complete strangers was actually enough to satisfy such desires. That sounds weird to say, but it's true.

I am social, but my difficulties in reading situations and people has made me insecure and somewhat withdrawn. To much ado is is also confusing.... like at confetti-funnel. My ADHD, I guess.

I can be, but I wouldn't say I'm asocial generally. It'd probably be more accurate to say I'm selectively social.

Various things have changed or morphed for me; motivation, reasons, wants etc. But selectively social has remained the best umbrella definition over all of it.

My current position is one where I simply don't have many options so the selectiveness may not seem so apparent. Do to past experiences I have largely stepped away from others but I will still play human at times.

I wouldn't call myself asocial. I think people are pretty interesting, and so I enjoy spending time with my co-workers and friends and family. For most of my life I didn't really have a real best friend though. If asked directly, I'm sure my "best friend" would not have called me her best friend. I was often a third wheel of another friend pair too. I've learned to be okay with this though. Every kind of friend is nice to have, and I wouldn't want to force myself on someone who found me to be non-ideal friend material. In my free time outside of work I really like either hiking outdoors or tinkering and making things while watching movies, both of which are very enjoyable alone as well.

Never knew of the term asocial until I saw this thread. Now I'm pretty sure I am primarily asocial.

I was bullied since I was in kindergarten so I cant say if I'm asocial cuz of my Aspergers directly making me less interested or if I'm asocial cuz of the problems I faced with others cuz of my Aspergers. Being bullied & excluded from such a young age & having it continue till the middle of 6th grade(I went to a skewl for dyslexia then) kinda makes you not interested in social situations. However having Aspergers could make someone not interested in social stuff cuz the person is disinterested in things that their peers are. I susplect in my case it's a combination of both reasons but I have no way to know for sure.