a realisation about empathy

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I realised the other night when watching a new episode of Mindhunter on Netflix
that i may not have as much empathy as i first thought.

The episode was about this guy who's wife kept getting up set about stuff which made her cry.
Some of the stuff towards the start of her crying i found to be very trivial and to be honest
i do find it really difficult to empathise with women that cry over things that i regard as trivial
sorry to sound mean, but i just find some of the trivial things, well.. trivial.

Sure, when something really bad happens that I can understand will have a real impact on a persons
life. Sure, i can understand why that would upset a person. I can put myself in their place sometimes.
When i have experienced similar situations in my own life. But when it comes to some things.
I have to be honest, i just find it extremely dramatic.

Perhaps i have just been very lucky in that my own mother (who i do not hate, but have a good normal mother son relationship with) is very nice and doesn't get upset over trivial things.

Perhaps this is why experiencing women who do confuses me, and makes it difficult for me to really be of any help.
I am not sure if its such a bad thing, as to be honest. some of the women i have experienced during my life,
would love to have someone at beck and call, to console them like little children every time even the smallest tiny weenie thing happens that upsets them. These woman also care little for me, my time or my life. And would quiet happily have me as their personal slave.

even though i am skilled and very creative in my own right.
They would quiet happily have me spend my entire life running around for them trying my best to please them.
which from my experience is an impossible task anyway.

So, in such circumstances, i recommend to do the most sensible thing. Please yourself.
And if these people genuinely need help, you can always refer them to a good doctor or shrink.

People who get paid good money to help such people. These people are much better at dealing with such people, and much more qualified to help them, as well as good at spotting other mental health problems and perhaps even ritual occult abuse (as going nuts at a victim for some is their ritual sacrifice, even if of a lesser degree)...

Interesting though, as i always thought i was very empathetic. But I guess i am compassionate, and even then, with in reason.

Please stop dragging "ritual occult abuse" into so many other topics. It's not a commonplace thing at all, and, by bringing it up so often, you are stigmatizing occultists in general, the vast majority of whom do not engage in any such thing. There's also a history of many people (most of whom were not even occultists or Satanists at all) being falsely accused of "Satanic ritual abuse."

To avoid further derailing this thread, I would suggest that we continue this discussion here, in this other thread of yours.

To bring this thread back on topic:

I would expect that most people, including most NTs, have difficulty empathizing with people who get upset over things they don't understand. Thus, for example, many NTs have difficulty empathizing with autistic people who have sensory sensitivities and get upset about loud noises.

This is a great point, and one which I think is key in NT/ND misunderstandings. It's easier for any of us to imagine not wanting to go to war, since that is probably a very different experience compared to our normal lives. But to explain to an NT how harsh the lights and noises are in a grocery store, when they go grocery shopping and experience those lights and noises very differently, is so hard. If we have a different experience of the same situation, empathy becomes difficult.

I tend to think at this point that one of the reasons for a defecit in empathy is a lack of experiences where a person is empathized with. If people consistently tell someone to get over something, claiming that it's not worth getting upset about despite it having an emotional impact on them, then how can they be expected to not do the same to others? Sometimes I think empathy exists just as much in autistic individuals but that its "normal" expression has been suppressed or underdeveloped through experience. One study asked that people with Aspergers can put themselves in the shoes of others but have a somewhat diminished ability to verbalize it. Can't verbalize what one hasn't been taught how to. Can't be taught by people that think one unteachable.