[ POLL ] What Is Your Meaning Of "Support"?

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Let us assume for a moment that I am a brand-new member* bringing a personal problem to the members of this website for discussion, and that I am asking for your "Support". What kind of "support" would you give?

You may choose 3 options, and you may change your choices at any time

(*For the purposes of this poll, pretend that I have never posted on this website, and thus have never given offense to anyone.)

My "support" would depend on the post. Sometimes people need sympathy, other times information, sometimes a swift kick.

Gotta agree

Never tell a person that there is "no hope," or that he/she is "unloveable."

I will contradict any such statement made by anybody. Because I happen to believe that virtually every person has some hope for the future, and that virtually every person is "loveable" in some fashion.

I was told, both, that I had "no hope," and that I was "unloveable" by various bullies in my younger days.

In the scenario of a new member posting their problems:

Acknowledging that their problems are valid.
Filling them in on all of the relevant facts of their problems.
Telling them to seek professional help (if needed).
Telling them my own similar personal experiences.

The bold three above if I have to choose 3 only.


If it was me posting here, depending on the problem, any of these could be supportive:

Acknowledging that my problems are valid.
Distracting me with jokes or funny images and videos.
Filling me in on all of the relevant facts of my problems.
Telling me to seek professional help if needed.
Telling me your own similar personal experiences (and how you dealt with them, also showing me that you understand from experience).

Also, friendly encouragement could be good.

Depends entirely on the person, how well you know them and the problem.

Acknowledging my problems are real and seeking professional help, which I will begin in a few weeks.

This is a good question. I checked: ‘Acknowledging that my problems are valid’, ‘Filling me in on all of the relevant facts of my problems’, and ‘Telling to me your own similar personal experiences’. And I like the idea of friendly encouragement a lot too. But especially if the request was from a new person on the forum, I’d be inclined to ask them what sort of support would be most helpful, because it differs across people. For example acknowledging the validity of stated problems could backfire if the person were venting in a hyperbolic way to try to get reassurance that the situation wasn’t all that bad.

The main way I give support is by acknowledging that other's problems are valid & I talk about my personal experiences with those problems & how I deal with them or how things improved for me & why they improved. I also may talk about how i felt or things I would of done if things hadn't improved or I talk about how I'm still dealing with things. There's other things on this list that I consider to be valid support at least sometimes anyways but it's not my main style of giving it.

I think for me, the best support I need is for people to acknowledge that who I am and what I go through is real and valid. Sometimes I also need support with actual tasks like eating or self care or things like filling out forms and stuff like that. Sometimes when I am in crisis, the support I need is just to be heard and acknowledged. I don't need people to try to change me, I need them to hear me and allow me to go through what I am going through and to process it as I need to process it. They don't need to fix the problem or try to distract me, those things make it worse for me, they just need to be there with love and understanding and allow me to get through whatever I am going through.

^ well said, skibum. I agree.

I need to be acknowledged that my problems are real. I also like it when people distract me with funny jokes.

So far, the top three choices are:

Acknowledging that my problems are valid.
Filling me in on all of the relevant facts of my problems.
Telling to me your own similar personal experiences.

I wonder why no one else has posted the following:

[X] Other: Offer advice that has worked for you and others several times in the past.

Am I really the only member who feels driven to offer solutions, and not just acknowledgement, facts and anecdotes?

That's kind of what I meant when I posted
The main way I give support is by acknowledging that other's problems are valid & I talk about my personal experiences with those problems & how I deal with them or how things improved for me & why they improved. I also may talk about how i felt or things I would of done if things hadn't improved or I talk about how I'm still dealing with things. There's other things on this list that I consider to be valid support at least sometimes anyways but it's not my main style of giving it.

I think what we both are talking about kinda falls under Telling to me your own similar personal experiences.

I think its also a bit of a male vs female thing...Its a generalization, but men tend to be more solution-based and pragmatic.

Then why have none of the other men in this thread given the answer that I gave?