Would moving to another country help?

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I live in the U.S., born in Las Vegas. Needless to say, the town I lived in was not exactly very forgiving for people with Aspies/ASD and you had to be a serious extrovert in order to thrive there. It also didn't help I had a family that hated my guts and constantly treated me like dirt. After several years of living on my own and being diagnosed with another physical illness (Crohn's) that seemed to trigger the most when I was stressed out or anxious, I decided that the only way I could give myself a chance of avoiding surgery for my Crohn's was to lower my stress, and to do that I had to move. So I did to Atlanta. Wasn't missing much back at my birthplace (no friends, non-supportive family, too many people hate me back there).

However, Atlanta has only been marginally better for me. I'm not overly depressed, or constantly put in a string of compromising situations socially, but it still happens semi-regularly. Not to mention I'm still having to fend on my own and it's still very hard to keep a job for me despite my degrees and hard to keep friends no matter what I do.

Partially it's been due to Aspies/ASD and having lack of support from peers, but partially it's due to my ethnicity (I'm half-Asian, and I get treated pretty bad for it. That's about as detailed as I'm willing to talk about it in this board.) But I've been told from other peers online whether they be aspie or otherwise, that many of them had expatted to Europe (usually Germany, Netherlands, or Eastern Europe) and they tell me how much more their lives had improved since moving. That the US is just not very welcome of people who are TOO different from the norm and a change of environment to people who are more understanding and helpful would help, not to mention some places (like the Netherlands) offer healthy financial help to those with Aspies/ASD. This is strictly from hearsay, I do not know if it's true.

So I had been wondering if the issue is that I'm just living in the wrong country? I'd like to know from others who are in Europe how it's like there, and if I should consider the option of finding a job abroad.

You'd need to check the immigration policies of the countries you are considering, but many require you to have, and keep, a job to live there long term. And it's not uncommon to restrict access to public benefits for non-citizens.

That said, some Northern European cultures are a bit more introvert/isolation friendly, if that's what you're looking for. There was a comedy show out for a bit in the U.S. called "Welcome to Sweden" that parodied Swedish culture. An expat friend who lives there did confirm that much of it was true, if a bit exaggerated. But things like greeting neighbors and strangers on the street are NOT part of their culture, which you might find refreshing.

And I suppose perhaps just the fact of being a "foreigner" might excuse some social mistakes or seeming strange to people, but it could also just create MORE confusion for you, since any social rules you have learned here might not apply.

I'm so sorry that you've been treated poorly. That is really, really unfortunate.

You may want to consider moving to a northern city, maybe someplace like Seattle? I've only visited, but it seems like they are less homogeneous/racially divided than some southern places. And I don't know what your skills are, but some tech companies like Microsoft recruit people with autism for programming jobs and different things like that. It wouldn't require a visa or new language, so that may be something to try before leaving the country?

America is very extroverted orientated . But its not laid-back extroverted like many other countries from the rest of the world. The extroversion decides your popularity and career etc.

Granted I have not lived in Europe

But Europe is an entire continent

United States is an entire country

You have to be more specific

What city and country in Europe?

Every country contains depressed, anxious, autistic people . And people diagnosed with Crohn's

Some things to consider. The US is a big place, and you have only lived in two areas of it. Atlanta is a big metropolitan city, and Vegas is well Vegas. There are vast cultural differences in various areas in the US, and municipalities of all sizes.

A farming village in the North of England is not likely to be all that different (other than accents and weather) than a farming town in the Midwest of the U.S. A big European city like Paris is not likely to be all that different than a big american city like New York (other than primary language, and local street cuisine).

That said there are some general differences between the U.S. and Europe that may be advantageous to an autistic. Most of Europe has superior public transport to most of the U.S. Many European countries have better support systems for the disabled and poor than the U.S. (although as an immigrant you'll likely need some sort of skilled job to get in the country)

In my view it matters more the "small world" you surround yourself with than the "large world" area you reside in.

The people I talked to seemed to have found luck in Germany, Netherlands, Norway, Sweden, and to a lesser extent Ukraine, Belarus, and Czech Republic.

New Zealand could be good. Maybe not so much wellington or auckland for you though

edit: I think you should try find a suitable place in america first. It will be so much easier to move interstate than to the other side of the world. and sooo much cheaper for you to try out than europe if you dont like it

I'd also advice you look around USA a bit more first; it's a huge country so different areas are bound to have some differences. You wouldn"t need to learn a new language, not another country's social rules and would avoid lot of paper work. Plus the better benefits for disabled that another country might have probably wouldn't affect your life since they're usually only meant for the citizens of the country.

How much travelling can you afford?
I agree that trying something different in the US before moving to a totally different country would be a reasonable move. The cost of being an expat is not negligeble.
European cities are organized differently than most of the US cities. They are denser, even well-off people often choose to live in apartaments instead of houses. Car is usually optional, public transport is part of the plan, and typically you have a couple of grocery stores, restaurants, a school and (in Poland) a church within walking distance. A lot of common space full of strangers. If it sounds attractive to you, you can consider moving here.
But first of all, job. Being an expat, you would be frown upon if you didn't mean to support yourself. I don't really know all the beaurocracy of it... Oh, yes, beaurocracy. That's something you need to be prepared for when coming here. Order in your papers is often more important than actual logic.

I often find the urge for a fresh start, I've been there done that, got the t-shirt as they say. I have found that my problems come right along with me, and the grass is never greener on the other side of the fence. I'm still the same old me.

I would suggest frying to figure out what it is that's bothering you so much about where you are...before trying to move away from it.

There are a lot of factors involved

The situation of your friend, is different from yours

Just because they found Europe better than US for them, does not mean you will too

Before moving, you should visit

Plus it costs $$ to move

Europe could be better, the same, or worse than US

If it's better, how much better

And maybe more diverse cities like new York City are as good as Europe


Although diverse cities tend to be expensive

I get you. In Vegas, there was a ton of stuff. I was raised in an uber-religious household, forced into being around very religious friends who treated me like dirt. And those that weren't were sociopaths. I distinctly remember on more than one occasion drivers trying to run me off the road then throw two middle fingers out the window at me just for the sake of being a**holes. There's the requirement of being super-extroverted to really thrive as well. Then there's the abusive family issue I had which to this day my parents believe they did nothing wrong and I was the problem.

When I moved to Atlanta, the family issue was gone and there were less sociopaths, but the religious issues remain (more churches, but marginally nicer people overall) and you can't really escape it in the South. Also while I learned I don't have to be super-extroverted to thrive here, you have to "get social cues" better than I did back in Vegas, which is something I'm pretty weak on. The only reason I came here was for a job originally and I've changed two careers since.

But it was like one poster said, the US seems to be very unique in the way they treat us Aspies (in a negative connotation) and especially unique in the way they treat my demographic (again in a VERY negative connotation), which was the reason why I was wondering if the grass really is greener on the other side, so they say. I've considered moving to another town (like Seattle or Denver or Portland) within the country, but I am unsure if that would really help.

I can't really speak for places outside the US much, but . I have lived in Portland, Seattle, and Savannah. While these places all had different "vibes", people are people...some will understand you better than others.

I haven't been treated any better or worse anywhere I have lived (overall) just differently. I've always been very introverted, had a very small group of friends...at work I just keep my head down and do my job. I wouldn't say I am overly friendly with co-workers, but I am polite. So I am tolerated.

I have had more than my fair share of attracting people with negative psychological traits, and that could be them sensing something different about me (autism?) and I've had more luck with spotting that kind of person and distancing myself from them..than I have trying to run away from them geographically.

I've found California to be more generally accommodating than Michigan. The former has so many different cultures that my own aspieness usually goes unnoticed, while the latter is so homogeneous in it's rigid "white-bred" social structure that just cheering for the "wrong" team can get you disinherited!

I would also encourage you to consider the Seattle area. It is one of the most ethnically diverse places I have ever lived. I found the city itself to be very autistic, by which I mean, it was hard to form friendships there; people tend to remain within their family original circle, which I attributed to their Scandinavian influence.

The SF Bay area is also exciting and diverse.

If you like nature, consider the Denver-Boulder area of Colorado. People tend to be relatively laid back, for instance, not overworking themselves to death but enjoying all the outdoor recreation; it is also a fairly diverse area ethnically.

Different parts of the US, and different sorts of metropolitan area, affect local culture to a surprising degree. In any state, you probably want to avoid very small towns, which are cliquish and unaccepting of outsiders.

Because either autism alone or Crohn's alone are very disabling, potentially, I think your stress levels and ability to maintain a good lifestyle should feature heavily in your decision. All of the cities/areas I mentioned have very good healthcare available.

Good luck... let us know how things are going.

Every region of the US and dare I say it the world will have some population of very religious people and not very religious people.



The Asian-american population on the west coast is considerably larger than other parts of the country. As such "Happas" are more common, and if you'll find general acceptance for your demographic anywhere it will be there.

Once again, I think it will matter more what your situation is (what people you can surround yourself with etc) than the general culture. Nowhere is a monolith and you will find people who treat you badly anywhere as well as people that will support you anywhere.