My best friend won't talk to me

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It's VENT TIME! With me, Betty Ferret.
So I have had this childhood friend that I would have to say is one of my best friends. We'd spend an awful long time around each other because this family accepted me as one of their own. They knew I came from a troubled home. I became extremely close with this friend for at least ten years....and then we went our own separate paths. She went to Israel, I went to move in with my boyfriend....and then she became a programmer for Microsoft (what?!) and I took up waitressing jobs, retail jobs...this could all pass off as pretty NT up till this point, but the point was, my friend was raised to grow into an orchid, and I was an orchid in distress. It is the difference between growing up in a household that wants to understand you and one that just wants the problem to be gone so the family doesn't have to endure countless remarks about how neuro-diverse your family is, probably because of bad genes, and blah ba di doo, throw in something about vaccines for the hell of it, haha. ANYWAY! My point is....this friend of mine has come out as trans, and has changed their pronouns to "he" "him" (I'm not part of the trans community, so I don't know the correct way to type that out) and I couldn't give less of a bleep. I really could not. I accept my friend the way they are....(I realize I didn't say "I accept my friend the way He is" sue me.) And I wish that they hadn't unfriended me from facebook (I shouldn't have facebook. facebook is evil!) and I wish they'd pick up my calls and respond to my texts, but is there any advice besides "give them space" because I feel my friend could really use my support, as we were both raised Jewish, and orthodox Jews aren't very kind to those who stand out of the crowd. It's a really big, giant, thing when you have the lable of TRANS on your forehead. Anyway, much advice needed, and thanks to whoever read this whole thing.

Are you ultra-orthodox, or modern orthodox?

I’m what you might call a “goy Jew.”

I’m sorry your friend did you this. But please don’t go farther than just texting them.

It might not even be you who is at “fault.”

PS: I don’t keep in contact anybody from my childhood, though I’ve found a couple on Facebook.

I don't belong to any religion. My family is broken. My dad converted to orthodox judaism when I was ten and gave me an ultimatum to either convert or go live with my mom in her doomsday cult, pretty much all the way across the country, away from my cat. So I converted. (Because F THAT S!) I was TEN. I ended up going through several years of torturous schooling. And it turns out that the Jewish community doesn't much care for me because I don't believe in certain things pertaining to the Jewish religion, so I might not really be considered a real Jew around them, which could further explain everyone's disdain for me as a child. I was also very loud and flashy, which orthodox jews don't like.

and wow...it's really nice that you respond to any of my forum threads because I wasn't so nice to you when we first introduced ourselves. it looks like we have a lot more in common than I ever would have allowed myself to believe.

In my life, I've had several people disappear on me for inexplicable reasons. Sometimes they came back, sometimes they didn't. Give it time.

I have, most definitely been that person to just isolate. I suppose I should put myself in their situation for a tad? I'd want time to compose myself, to gather enough of a semblance of what to say when confronted with the elephant in the room. I just really miss my friend, and I want them in my life right now! It's an important time.

Do what I did: make new friends.

I knew one kid from high school for a while. Then (ironically), he started working for a certain synagogue that had "cult" tendencies---so we drifted apart.

He lost his job because of this. He became very focused on conversation on one thing, and wouldn't let you get in a word edgewise. Ironically, it had to do with politics, not with the "cult."

I was that way, too when I was a child.

If you feel that TRANS is written on their forehead and they need your support, then maybe your friend is wise to cut you out of their life. Sorry to be so blunt, but this seems to be more about your feelings than theirs. People can change enough that friendships no longer work, and apparently your friend feels this way. Let it go.

In truth, childhood friends just "drift apart." It's an unfortunate phenomenon. But there seems to be a consistency about this.

I don't think of my friend as TRANS. I, however, know that the strict, confined Jewish community does...and that's not all they think, but I won't get into that. I wasn't clear on that, so I'm sorry. I couldn't care less if someone identifies as something else. I am the flashiest, most out there goon in the world, so I don't give a hoot about attracting extra attention because I am the way I am. I'm all about letting your freak flag fly.

The freaks couldn't stand me in high school; they thought I was too square

I obviously failed as a friend, that's all I'm saying. Okay. Now it's about my feelings. But who cares? I just want a friend, that's all I want. Don't care if you're homeless, trans, an animal....well now that I think about it, I am surrounded by six weasels, so perhaps I shall pet them and appreciate them and let my friend live life however they want. (I just want them in my wedding, but that's not for another year!!)

I appreciate the support and feedback! I apologize for coming off as politically incorrect. that'll happen when you are autistic.