Being disliked hurts

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Wow, a lot of distortions there. Particularly the last paragraph. First, I don't pick on him, but I confront him with the obvious. Second, I'm not relentless and I have no plans of picking on him relentlessly. I think you're projecting, Ferris. I am glad I insisted you tell me what is scary about my referenced post, because this reply from you illustrates you are seeing or hearing things from me that are not there.

projecting what ? and from who to who ? , don't forget to vote Bea

I'd like to make one more point. WrongPlanet has become more of a "poor me" site over the months I've been here, and many of the more intelligent and intellectual and self-directed people have "f****d off" entirely, which degrades the overall utility as well as the atmosphere. Occasionally I'm seeing new people with a decidedly "poor me" bent, maybe because they see that's what gets you attention around here. I am completely avoiding those new people, but because I have been engaging with Marknis for quite a while, I continue to. I've actually offered him quite a bit of attention and support in the past, but I just see no change or progress whatsoever. This leads me to think that the attention might actually have been counterproductive.

This post did not need to be made but if I don't want the above trend to continue, I should voice my concerns. (Without naming any names, I am not the only person who has recently voiced a similar point of view.)

If only ( I mean in a Marknis thread )

That is a fantastic question for you to be asking! I can offer some ideas an tips but first what do you think think would help you build yourself? What would you tell someone else that was experiencing what you are and posed that question? Really think about it; we tend to have at least an inclination as to what we would need.

Your mind telling you things are too late - please try to recognize that that isn't your entire mind. That is your depression. When you have those negative, doubting thoughts call it out "that is my depression" or "that is Bob" If you find giving it a formal name as helpful. Depression doesn't like anyone, it wants us to stay depressed and it wants us to believe that it is who we really are. It's not true though, when you can clear depression out, how one thinks changes. It's okay to let it make you feel like crap sometimes but it's important to keep in mind that Depression is not you, and is going to make you think untrue things.

We all have things we thought we would do, dreamed we would do but haven't. Reality slapped me upside the head with that pretty early so I've been in a very slow crawl or in a state of paralysis ever since. Getting out of the self doubting depression and finding motivation is incredibly hard. I just turned 32 on the 5th and I still have no idea what the hell I am doing, I'm sure there are others here that are similar. Actually I wouldn't be surprised if it were fairly common among us Aspies. We have to cut ourselves some slack, we do not operate nor exist the same was as NT's, it creates a unique challenge for some of us that is going to take more time to navigate.

The cool thing about the brain is we can continue to learn and grow as people at any age. It's true that starting early has advantages, it's true that we tend to absorb and advance more quickly when we're younger but our ability to do so does not cease. 31? Your brain is still young enough to develop talents and skills if you dedicate yourself to it.


That would purely be for attention. But I don't think that is the really the case with Marknis. I feel that he does want input but perhaps the majority he as gotten isn't quite the type he's wanted or needed.


You have a point. Perhaps if this were not to be in the Haven it would be prudent for Markins to try to contact some of the members he has felt to be helpful and to carry the personal conversation that way. That way a General Autism Discussion thread would be left more open do just have members share their experiences.

Then for god's sake DO SOMETHING ELSE. Lots of people can't play guitar. Lots of people can't draw. Lots of people don't really have a talent. Neither do you. Congrats, neither does MOST of the population of the world. But Jesus Christ FIND SOMETHING ELSE TO FOCUS ON. Part of being an adult is having the ability to admit your limitations and DO SOMETHING ELSE THAT YOU CAN DO and be a contributing and functioning member of society. Quit moaning over the things you can't do and do something with yourself that you can.

You know why those hip hoppers and thugs and all those other guys you hate have girlfriends? Because they probably have jobs, they probably have their own places, they probably have things to offer THAT YOU DON'T.

I don't know what it's going to take to make you see that you're causing your own problems but if you don't turn this around you'll be spinning your wheels for the rest of your life and literally nothing will change.

I can't play guitar. I can't draw. I have no special talent.

You have empathy, and you like to help people. That's more than most of us.

I did not read the whole thread as it got so mundane, though will try to, for entertainment mainly, at this point, but a good idea is to encourage each other not to be overly sensitive to words. Encouraging this kind of over-sensitivity is imo often (though not always) a form of enabling that weakens and cripples the so-called victims.

Me either. I used to want to be an artist, but at some point I had to admit I was terrible. That's having self-awareness. I like doing it just for fun but I'll never make any career out of it so I found something else to do as a job. It's somewhat childish clinging to a fantasy of being a rock star or whatever past ones teenage years.

I don't want to be a rock star. I just want to make my own songs and have some friends to perform with. Two former co-workers of mine had their own bands and while they aren't famous, they still play shows and put out albums. They also have girlfriends who are into the arts as well. I wish I had what they had.

I would like that, too. But it’s beyond my abilities.

I’ve written poems, but not songs.

I’m a stick-figure man when it comes to drawing.

Are you telling me to give up on wanting love?

A lot of the hip-hoppers I know are on welfare and don't necessarily live in their own places. They also agree with rednecks on bigotry towards LGBT people and non-Christians as well as sexism towards women. They aren't people I will ever be friends with nor look up to.

I don't want people telling me I can't have a girlfriend or that I can't have any individuality.

Last edited by Marknis on 16 May 2019, 10:49 pm, edited 2 times in total.

QFT

My former coworkers are able to succeed despite living in a culture that hates what makes them who they are. They are both in technical fields, they both play music that isn't in vogue with the culture here (Death-thrash and hardcore punk), both can beat up those who get upset with them for not being Trump fanboys, and they have girlfriends who aren't brainwashed by the Bible Belt.

Goldfish21 is someone I ague with on a verity of topics. Just as I argue with cyberdad, Kraichgauer and others.




Yes I am a grown man.



It's about having a fixation of course. Being tired of someone posting same stuff over and over and wanting that person to disappear. Considering them to be a troll of sorts. Really the one I got fixated with along those lines wasn't Goldfish but rather ASS-P. However I stopped perusing him along those lines quite some time ago. My comment of "I honestly don't understand why someone would post to threads they think are a waste of time along with the OP not wanting wanting their input" was a bit tongue-in-cheek although probably only from my perspective.