Being disliked hurts

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SaveFerris
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17 May 2019, 1:33 pm

Fnord wrote:

BeaArthur wrote:

Marknis wrote:

Even when I was a child, others scowled at me. One kid even decided to punch me when I was talking to him. I still remember the pain in my eye and forehead. I also remember a swim teacher growling my name and hitting my head with a plastic ring she was holding in her hand.

That sounds very painful - emotionally, not to mention the physical pain. I imagine it also made you feel very alone.

It's painful enough to be bullied by the other kids. It's even worse when the teachers join in and even put the blame on you for "asking for it".

How does a helpless, physically clumsy, and socially awkward child "ask" to be bullied?

In this, I can empathize with the OP.

Wasn't that post against moderatorial direction ?

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BeaArthur
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17 May 2019, 1:38 pm

SaveFerris, I feel you have confused some of your personal issues with what is going on in this thread, and I respectfully request you to ask someone else on the moderator team to take over for you in this and related threads.

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SaveFerris
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17 May 2019, 1:48 pm

BeaArthur wrote:

OK, MOD hat on , as if that makes a f*****g difference

I respectfully decline your offer , and your laughable armchair diagnosis of the situation.

If you want me to leave this thread so you can continue harassing the OP , you will have to PM another MOD.

If I believe any future posts are harassment I will remove them and ask for a warning to be issued.

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cubedemon6073
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17 May 2019, 1:57 pm

SaveFerris wrote:

BeaArthur wrote:

Ferris, this one's for you.

Teach51
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17 May 2019, 3:33 pm

kraftiekortie wrote:

I remember, as a late teen-early 20's person being told that I had to "give" as well as "take."

I was told that I had to "listen," in addition to "talking."

It took me a while to really get what these people were saying. But when I "got it," things got better for me.

It's not "phony," I believe, to at least pretend you're listening to someone. I had to do a lot of "pretending" and learning before I understood, fully, the extent and reason why people are really upset.

Before I was able to "give and take," I was pretty unsuccessful in getting people to like me.

That's quite an achievement for anyone, good for you. Taking responsibility for your problem, acknowledging that only you can fix it, and being determined to overcome it is no easy task. It really takes courage and strength of character.

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EzraS
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17 May 2019, 7:12 pm

Fnord wrote:

SaveFerris wrote:

hardy ha f*****g ha , this is like game for you two. Lets f**k with the derpressed guy , he won't be able to defend himself. Makes me f*****g puke

No game, and I'm not "messing with the depressed guy" either. I'm seriously wondering why only Bea and I are being harassed for our opinions when Luhluhluh is expressing the same opinions as all of the other "detractors" and getting away with it. Can you explain this, please?

Since you ask, at times you come off as quite snide and condescending. The type who revels in schadenfreude. A borderline cyberbully.

EzraS
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17 May 2019, 7:24 pm

BeaArthur wrote:

Quite honestly it seems much more like you and Fnord have personal issues that get stirred up by the OP.

auntblabby
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17 May 2019, 8:16 pm

kraftiekortie wrote:

These sorts of things happen to many kids. I once had a teacher throw an encyclopedia-sized book at me in Sophomore Year. by Senior Year, she grew to like and respect me.

after years of public belittling and emasculation by bully teachers, if one assaulted me like that, my life would have changed for the worse [IOW i would have strangled the SOB].

Alterity
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17 May 2019, 9:50 pm

Um, wow

For a thread about how being disliked can be hurtful it's sad that it turned into people showing dislike for each other, being at odds and squabbling. Is showing some camaraderie so hard?

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auntblabby
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17 May 2019, 10:07 pm

Alterity wrote:

Um, wow For a thread about how being disliked can be hurtful it's sad that it turned into people showing dislike for each other, being at odds and squabbling. Is showing some camaraderie so hard?

QFT.

kraftiekortie
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17 May 2019, 10:28 pm

Too many ruffled feathers....

auntblabby
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17 May 2019, 11:02 pm

if there were something here that succeeded in chasing me away, it is the rampant ableism on a forum ostensibly for mutual support.

The Grand Inquisitor
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18 May 2019, 12:34 am

SaveFerris wrote:

BeaArthur wrote:

Fnord wrote:

Where are the moderators, and why have they not acted against this obvious detractor?

Troublemaker!

:lol:

hardy ha f*****g ha , this is like game for you two. Lets f**k with the derpressed guy , he won't be able to defend himself.

Makes me f*****g puke

If they were making fun of him for his situation I'd agree that that's cruel, but if someone's going to misrepresent my intentions and brand me as someone who's against them and a "detractor" despite the fact that I'm trying to help them, I think it's fair game to poke fun at that absurd hyperbole.

EzraS
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18 May 2019, 12:57 am

Sometimes it takes an experienced professional therapist years to make progress in treating a patient.

Folks on a forum shouldn't feel like they've said enough to fix someone and expect them to be all better, and then get frustrated with that person when that turns out not to be the case.

The Grand Inquisitor
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18 May 2019, 1:10 am

EzraS wrote:

No, but if the person in question is constantly seeking out help over and over again, ignores and disregards any good advice given, and then calls you a "detractor" for suggesting that they need to make sacrifices in pursuit of their goal that they do not want to make, then a bit of frustration is not unreasonable.

auntblabby
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18 May 2019, 1:16 am

it is only "frustrating" if-
*one expects a definite positive result at the end, as a result of one's advice
*one expects quick progress as a result of one's advice
*one expects one's sometimes jejune answers to be a panacea
*one expects the OP to "man up" and "conform"
*one cannot simply LISTEN patiently and not judge, "seventy times seven."

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