Do you HATE using the words Sir or Mam?

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IMO yes while you might be my parent/boss/teacher etc. I'm not bowing to you and kissing your feet. Yes mam no mam,yes sir no sir. I HATE using those terms or people telling me too use them. My parents say it has to do with respect. But IMO I RESPECT that YOU are no better than me and I'm your equal. So you are my boss IMO UH you used to be where I was!! ! So why should I treat you any different since you're my boss. I might say Yes Mr. Johnston (for example) but I HATE using Sir and Mam!! !!

I totally agree. I'm not going to do that. I'm too proud to do that.

I use sir and ma'am always. It's my routine. Is it out of respect? Nope, just habit.

It's also a great way to act respectful if you can't remember someones name.

I prefer using sir/mam. It drives me nuts when people are like, "I'm not old, you can call me _____first name____" because then I have to remember their names.

I say sir quite often.. i don't say ma'am cause it doesn't sound right to me.. so I call everyone sir.. xP

I also hate using those words, with a passion. I'd rather call people by their names. This isn't the military.

WHAT DID YOU CALL ME PRIVATE? DO NOT CALL ME SIR DAMN IT! SEE THESE STRIPES?! !! DROP AND GIVE ME 20!

Thanks awesome!! ! I also didn't use the word Dr. for my College teacher who had a P.hD I'd say Mrs. Also what's the logic of the word Professor just because you teach in a College you are called a professor WHAT HAPPEN TO THE WORD TEACHER! As if that's demeaning or used for grade school FOR GOD SAKE A TEACHER IS A TEACHER GRADE SCHOOL LEVEL OR COLLEGE YOU ARE STILL A TEACHER SHEESH!! !! !! !! !!!1

DON'T CALL ME SIR. I WORK FOR A LIVING!! !

My mom tells her students that they can call her anything they want except "mommy," but if they're over 25 they HAVE to call her Ellen.

It is most definitely a matter of respect - if nothing else for the fact that the person being addressed has been alive longer than you and as a result has life experience and knowledge that you do not have. Refusing to address others, especially those significantly older than you with a modicum of respect (and that is a very tiny gesture in the grand scheme of things) marks you as impudent, disrespectful and not bright enough to know even basic manners.

Its like calling your parents by their first names. I don't care how friendly and casual your relationship, they are not your equals, nor you theirs. Until you've been on the planet long enough to become a responsible, job-holding, tax-paying adult, you should politely defer to their greater experience. Refusing to do so, is just displaying your social ineptitude. And that's putting it politely.

Ma'am.

Last edited by Willard on 09 Nov 2009, 8:34 pm, edited 1 time in total.

Do you know how much work goes into a Ph.D.? I do. My mother got hers when I was 4 and I remember how long and hard she worked for it, and that she graduated with honors. After all that, if she wants to be called Dr. she's earned the right! (She's been called both Mrs. and Dr. in her career, now she's retired.)

I always say sir and ma'am. (Although my husband says "ma'am" is the same as "b***h," I utterly disagree.) I'm sort of at the opposite end from the original poster. I offer my respect to everyone until they prove they don't deserve it. I come from a background where lots of kids are spoiled brats and grow up to be entitlement royalty. My parents refused to let me be that way; they taught me that everyone deserves respect and I believe it. It doesn't hurt anyone for me to be polite and respectful from the get-go. I don't mind using the terms, although when people use them with me, I'm quick with a "Oh, it's Rose, please!"

In the UK, it's customary to address university lecturers by their first names, no matter if they have a PhD or not. The idea is that everyone is an adult at university and that means tutors and students should be on terms of equality. This custom is also followed in further education colleges. At school and sixth form, members of the teaching staff are addressed as Sir/Madam/Mr/Mrs/Miss/Ms/Smith/Jones/Watson etc.

I don't use sir and ma'am, unless it's sarcastically to people who are demanding respect without having shown any evidence that they deserve respect. I don't give a damn if they've been alive longer than me- for all I know, they could have spent that entire time making everyone they know miserable. Living for a long time is not that much of an achievement- you just have to keep putting food in your mouth. Anyone who demands respect for that has my contempt.
Of course, I have respect for those who have survived a lot to become old, but in my experience they aren't the ones who demand that I use words that are nothing but lip service to respect. Using those words is all very well, but how one treats people is more important than if one remembers one's social ritualistic gestures.

In my fourties I went through a violently energetic dressing down (verbal) of anyone that would deign to call me 'ma'am'.
In my fifties I embraced it, because well, I got tired of ranting and raving all the time.

I went to a private boys school. The practice was to stand up when a teacher entered the room, and all teachers were referred to as, "Sir" or, "Ma'am" as the case may be.

Using these terms became second nature for me, and when I went to University, I had to get deprogrammed!

Even so, it is very easy for me to slip into the use where it is appropriate.