Feelings.

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Every now and then (Not that often) I get all clostrophobic inside. As if time has stopped and I want to restart time. I want to "Grrrr" Not sure... It is like I am about to explode. Is a mix of feeling that I want to just go outside and run and run and run, and at the same time I want to shout loud to let something out somehow... (Hence the "Grrrr"). And it is quiet at night and I am so wanting to be lively to release the pressure... The problem is that if I jumped on the bicycle and went I would go miles and then be stuck trying to come back. (Or it feels like this!)
In the past, at times when I feel like this I have done some stupid things. I mean... A girl I almost dated when I was 17 but the faceblindness got in the way so I disn't recognise her... I wrote to her when I felt like this some 20 or more years later to explain in all details what happened and I did not put my address (Though I made a pressing of my address in the paper) and I sent it off... And later I regretted it incase I hurt her feelings. I didn't intend to hurt her feelings at all. Just to explain what took place as it was going round and round in my head so many times as I felt this way.I had had a release after sending the letter but followed by regret for bringing up the past as I so much never want to hurt peoples feelings.
I am feeling like that now. No. I have moved on from that situation. I am just feeling all "Grrr" inside but why? And why now at night? Most of the time when I have had this in the past (Which is rare) happened at night when my brain is active. Ok, I always spend the evening going over things in my mind if I don't tire myself out by chatting to an online friend (The last onlie friend I have as the rest don't use that chat site) and it tires me out so I sleep peacefully... Hope he is ok as he is not on this evening.
Anyway... "Grrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrr!" And no. I am not going to do anything stupid. I will just Grr this out inside me.


Does anyone else sometimes feel the same? Lets "Grrrr!" Hahaha!

For me, it's a feeling like time is rapidly running out and I haven't even found my "mission briefing" yet. There were things I was supposed to do years and years ago, but failed to. At night there's more quiet time to reflect on this, so the feeling like I should run fast and far (even though I have no idea where I'm going) creeps in.

And that's the problem. I never have any idea where I'm going or what I should do. I have a job to go to, so that's something to waste time on, but it definitely doesn't feel like my raison d'être. Grrrrrrr!

It's only on this site I can really type about feelings like this. I rarely get this feeling. It is half subsided now. Hopefully the feeling will go. Fortunately a friend in a chat site is here and as I type here and to him the pressure is releasing a little. . Thank you for being understanding and I am glad you understand. It is so much better to have people who understand. I think you are the first to understand? As no one else I know has said they get the same. But there again, I don't think I have mentioned it to anyone else. It is not something one talks about in other places... So glad you lot are here! Means I am not crazy.

Not sure why. I think it is through being concerned. Had quite a prolonged energy loss this morning prior to watching an event. We had to be up earlyish to go down to show ourselves (Mum and I) as there was a sponsored walk on with TV crew etc. Good that we were there early as I was lying on the bench for a good while before I could get up. Cola wasn't working. I am ok though. Just don't feel up to much other then relaxing so I will take things easy for the rest of the day. (Apologise for last night as was all claustrophobic).
The event went really well with schoolchildren from many local schools taking part. It was lovely. My mum managed to avoid the cameras (I did also) as she was half supposed to be interviewed. (She does not normally do too well on camera). We dissapeared before all was arranged! Shhh! They didn't actually need us so all is good.