Why do I feel the need to apologize?

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Sometimes I feel the need to apologize for just being myself. I fear that I have hurt family, friends, neighbors because I tend to keep to myself to keep from feeling overloaded. I tell myself why can't I be friendlier? Then I remember that I am who I am. It would be a great encouragement to me to hear from others about similar experiences (I believe this may be quite common with those on the autism spectrum).

I feel there are many times people should apologize to me for their actions and probably many times I should have apologized to them for my actions. But in the end it will probably be a wash. So I do not feel the need to apologize except when I have acted out of character. Or if I can see the root of the misunderstanding.

I apologize if I snap at a family member, even if the reason was due to being overwhelmed or stressed by my environment or the situation at hand. I'll apologize after I calm down and replay the situation in my mind. I don't believe a cognizant person should get a free pass to be rude or hurtful to others. I shutdown far more than meltdown. Thankfully I've only had a few epic meltdowns in quite a few years. I've apologized after them even though they've absolutely been the result of issues related to my autism.