Special interest feels like too much

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I've read that while autistic boys and men tend to have the kind of special interest that is usually associated with autism, like trains or technology, girls and women may be more likely to focus on a band, show, or celebrity, or on particular animals. These are generalities that will not apply to everyone, of course.

I myself tend to obsess over a particular band or musician. And it feels a bit strange, especially at my age. Especially right now, for me, because it just happened again. About a month ago I heard a musician I hadn't heard before, and now I have watched almost every music video and interview that I've found on YouTube and have been listening to the songs over and over every day. It feels like something I can't explain, and also that it's something that is usually what one might expect a young pre-teen girl to obsess about. Can you help me understand?

Do you have this experience?

Also, I have to bottle it up because there is no way I can talk to people about this, beyond, "Hey, have you heard this cool musician?" and then not go on about it, daily, as I would if it was up to me.

Like Cyndi Lauper? I love her music. She is soo tallented!

I don't know, you're 56(if this is your age) and it seems like something really cool I don't feel like it's something that only a young pre-teen girl is doing. If you'd be a musician, you would obsess about music anyway.

But it's funny, I had exactly what you describe with a metalband like 8 month ago and I don't remeber if I ever had it before in my life. It kinda helped me go through hard times, I was sooo obsessed with them.. Music is an amazing thing and it's a great obsession I guess.

Thank you for all your responses and for sharing your experiences.

I believe that this obsession that I have is a "special interest," which many people on the spectrum have. (I'm not entirely sure that I am autistic, because I am undiagnosed. But I think that I am.)

It's true that it's nice to have something that I enjoy. But it kind of feels like I can't stop myself from obsessing over it. That's the part that feels like it's too much. And I get so overwhelmed. If I come across a song I haven't heard before, or even a live performance I haven't heard, of a song I already know, sometimes it's so good it makes me cry. I kind of feel like a fool!

I too don't really listen to music in general, only specific songs over and over.

So, the musician I'm obsessed with is Machine Gun Kelly. He is a rapper (which I usually don't love) and he is currently releasing a pop-punk (which I do love) album. But I love his rap songs and videos too, because everything he does I love. My previous obsession was Green Day, which lasted about 25 years(!) And I still love them, just not obsessively.

And Cyndi Lauper and Linkin Park are great!

Age isn't the slightest bit important - I'm a year older than you and still feel like I'm pushing 30. Except for the odd aches and pains, and a countenance that no longer has a silky smoothness to it I still enjoy cartoons and lots of things associated with teens or young adults. That's one of the best things about folk on the spectrum. We tend to not acknowledge "growing old".

Enjoy your music!

There's a band that I obsess over a lot and I also obsess over my favourite member of that band.