Do you type or write better than you speak?

Post Reply New Topic

I express myself much better in writing. I didn’t get good at writing until college. Up until then, I wasn’t good at expressing myself in any modality. I even struggled with selective mutism for a time.

I find it a lot harder to express myself in person than I do when I’m posting a thread or sending an email. It’s much easier to compose a logical argument when I have more time to do so and don’t feel hemmed in by social anxiety.

Having more time also allows me to formulate better arguments when, in person, I might get overly frustrated and not respond logically or (like most often) change the subject entirely. People who are certainly wrong can usually overpower me in an in-person debate which I find extremely frustrating. I tend to avoid conflict, in part, because of this. It’s hard to say something but not go too far with it, so I don’t usually say anything at all.

I get really stressed out when conflict is unavoidable. I’ve been particularly stressed about a source of conflict that I might have to deal with in the next couple of days. It’s even led to a panic attack although that’s not the only thing I’ve got going on at the moment.

Whew! This is a little all over the place.

What modality are you best at being able to express yourself in? And do you find conflict as stressful as I do?

I almost exclusively want to type to you from a desktop.

I can speak very well in formal presentations that are one sided. I'm quite articulate. I struggle with dialogue.

Same here. I have given presentations to audiences of 200 or more, was lead singer in a band, so performing was not an issue. As was said by dyadiccounterpoint those were one sided deals. The struggle has always been with conversational dialog. Preference for the written word where I could more eloquently express myself.

I have gotten much better at IRL dialog in the past ten years. Improving how I look has made a big difference.

Considerably.

I’ve engaged in public speaking countless times, but I never got any better at it or made any improvements in that area.

My church spent a lot of time covering ways to be a better public speaker, but it had absolutely no effect on me.

I’m not very good at presentations.

Most of the time, both my writing and oral speaking style does not exude great intellectualism.

I’m not really talking about intellectualism. It’s more about being able to present one’s point of view. I have trouble with that unless I have the time to write and am not in the midst of a face-to-face interaction.

I don’t consider myself to be an intellectual. I just want to be able to present a rational, logical argument to support whatever well-reasoned stance I’m taking. It’d be great if I could do that in person. People tend to think I’m a lot dumber than what I am due to my lack of social/communication skills.

You were asking if people write better than speak.

I would say it's probably similar, these days. In the old days, though, my writing was much better than my speaking.

The ability to present "rational arguments" is far more developed in my writing than in my speaking. I tend to have difficulty presenting my viewpoint when I'm under "social pressure."

I definitely write better than I speak.

My problem with speaking is the extemporaneous situations. I can give a presentation well if I have prepared for it, but Q and A may be relatively hard.

Over my many decades, I've become confident about expressing myself in speech, but I've always been more comfortable writing out my words. (And editing where needed.)

My writing is decent on most days. Speaking on the other hand can be very hit and miss for me. Some days it's good, other days I let fear get the better of me.

Luckily the currency of my profession is predominantly written publications, so my work gets done alright, even given this.

I think I’m often worse with presentations because that usually gives me more time to stress and worry about it.

It probably depends somewhat on the subject matter, though.

I just realized a particular nuance in the title question:

My hand writing is illegible. By writing, I meant typing.

Have you ever had people think you’re stupid due to having trouble presenting your viewpoint in person?

I have!

I’ve noticed that people who aren’t necessarily smart but have great speaking skills are taken much more seriously. Sometimes people will say stuff directly to my mom instead of to me when I’m right there because I’m too stupid to understand.

I wouldn’t want to demonstrate conceit but, perhaps, putting my college GPA upon graduation on a tee shirt would help. LOL

I just get frustrated when I’m not taken seriously sometimes. Then I have to try to avoid Daria-esque, biting sarcasm.

I just need to work on presenting myself better.

This descended into a rant quickly.

I meant typing.

My writing looks like a little kid’s.