Don't understand or don't give a damn?

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I was considered very innocent, without malice or idiot for not following the opinion of the majority. What people have never understood is that I just don't care. If for me something said or done has no value (within my parameters) then I have no reason to care. Even if most people appreciate something cheap I don't feel obliged to do the same. What do you do when a large number of people want you to do something stupid just to please them?

I'm right there with you. The only situation where I feel the need to check myself regarding appropriate consideration to the interests of others is my family. Or my patients... otherwise, the rest of the world can carry on without me.

This is actually a very handy way of avoiding senseless stress. God made me the way I am for a reason, I am not going to debate my inclinations anymore.

Hi Lone Replicant,
Nice age your at
To the above question; I personally do not nor have I ever 'followed the sheep' hence I do not do stupid things just to please the crowd and or friends.

I don't like the stupid or cheap, either, especially when it comes to popular culture. Most of it is inane and some is nauseating. I feel no compulsion whatsoever to conform to that. I will proudly champion Denis Istomin or Rafael Nadal and be an unapologetic tennis fan, even though tennis isn't popular with the majority.

I get that and it is why I am not that good at general small talk and chit chat... If I latch onto something I am interested in during a conbersation I will suddenly wake up and be alive... but otherwize I will just stand there being polite... Probably not even taking anything in... It is so mucn easier here holding this tablet when people comw in to visit mh Mum, as I can pretend to be absorbed in typing rather then looking stupid when I have switched off. It isn't that I don't care about the people. It is that they talk about things that I have no interest in...

I remember the last girlfriend. She has asperges and she knew how to get me out of this mode... She would be talking away and then say my name.. No response... So she would pretend to talk and then slightly louder say a word like "Trains" and I would suddenly come to life. She thought it was hillarious! It did seem to work though!

Agreed with both. I am no longer interested in pleasing others. I am who I am and at this age, I am not likely to change much. So take it or leave it.

I work to please others only when the outcome would be to my advantage (i.e, a paycheck). Otherwise, I work to please myself. As you put it, it’s a “take it or leave it” situation.

The title of this post reminds me of the joke - What's worse, ignorance or apathy? I don't know and I don't care.

As for the question people either already know or learn quickly that I keep very much to myself, and that's not going to change. If someone gets an overt response out of me it's like, wow that's not easy to do.

Not understanding and not giving a damn aren't necessarily mutually exclusive.

I often don’t know AND don’t care. I don’t like getting bogged down in insignificant details that don’t matter. KISS (keep it simple, stupid!).

Do it, unless it's going to harm someone.

The problem is that doing what most people want usually tires me out unnecessarily. I don't think they would do the same for me. This is one of my big problems with neurotypicals. It's never something reciprocal.

I used to be a people pleaser. I’ve found, though, that it just expends too much energy. My focus needs to be on what‘s best for my son and me. I’m healthier and happier since I’ve stopped caring what others think.

I still try to be kind and help people, though, but overall, I keep things as simple as I can.

I used to want to help others but I got stabbed in the back too many times.

I think a lot of us have been through that, too. Many disappointments are part of the reality of being Aspie in a neurotypical world. In a world made with rules for neurotypicals.

I’m not talking about anything extreme. Holding doors open for people, helping an old lady with her groceries, and trying to use good manners - simple stuff that doesn’t involve a lot of commitment.

That's right. It's not a question of stopping caring, but of caring mainly about what (or who) will do us good. Even if it takes a long time to find out.