For the past month or so, I have been quite obsessed with topics relating to autism/aspergers. I have read various forum posts, and it seems as if I satisfy a lot of the traits. However, I'm not quite sure whether I hit the threshold for a particular trait.
Early on in my life, there were a few indicators as follows:
-My Mom mentioned that I was a "very easy" baby. I would rarely cry and was very content.
- I opened and closed drawers repetitively.
- I used to walk on the "tips" of my toes, and would follow a certain tile pattern.
- I continuously opened and closed a garage door for 2 hours straight.
- I sucked my thumb until around 5 years old and was very attached to my blanket during that time.
- I would have very strong anxiety when moving to a new school, which tapered once I adjusted.
- I recall hugging my sister, and feeling extremely awkward about it. I do not understand the expression of love in such a manner.
- I talked at a later age relative to my brothers and sister (I am on the non-verbal side-mathematically minded).
I seem to have adapted quite well today, however, I still have some recurring problems that plague my ability to make friends. The following is a list of contemporary problems which pinpoint to a possible diagnosis:
- My Mom still has to reiterate to me that I need to refrain from obsessing over a topic when the other party is not interested.
- I order the same items on a menu and can listen to the same song repeatedly for months.
-I am hypo-sensitive to external pain yet hypersensitive to internal pain (stomach, aches, exc).
-I have a strong dislike for large crowds, and can't filter out background noise too well.
-I am very sensitive to perfume/paint, which can induce headaches.
-I have limited obsessive interests (studied health/physiology for 5+ years....My current interests are psychology/typology, nootropics, and autism/aspergers syndrome).
- I have difficulty making small decisions (choosing a place to eat/determining what I like/find appealing).
- I tend to process social input at a slower rate relative to others. This may cause me to blurt out the wrong words/comments, which makes me depressed at times.
- I have the tendency to insult others (particularly woman I have been interested in), without any regard to insensitivity until a later period when I can decompress/analyze my behavior.
-I do not know how to flirt...I can make jokes/PUNS, however, I am horrible at knowing when/how to act appropriately. This is why I haven't had a girlfriend at 28 years old.
-I have a strong dislike for small-talk. My few friends have a similar deposition, and we prefer to engage in deeper discussions centered on our interests.
-I have had strong emotional reactions to sudden changes (going to new school or going to a different restaurant than what was expected).
- When I had anxiety, I would watch the same movie over an over to calm me down.
- I am a minimalist (drink from same glass, eat with same spoon).
- I do not pick up on sarcasm at all unless I know the person well and their behavioral patterns.
- I am quite disorganized, and struggle immensely with switching tasks quickly (executive problems).
- I once spent two weeks straight working on a mathematical conjecture (goldbach), and completely tuned out my environment during the time.
- I always enjoyed searching for patterns (whether in mathematics or in peoples behavior).
- I lack common sense.
The only criteria that makes me skeptical of whether I exhibit autism/aspergers is that I have the propensity to interrupt others during speech because I can predict what they will say next. I wouldn't consider it common among those with the condition. Also, I am very sensitive to strong emotions. For instance, when someone is very angry, their anger seems to translate within myself causing me to lash out.
06 Jul 2019, 5:39 pm
