Joe90 wrote:
And don't say ''it's not what you say it's the way you say it'' or ''you probably do it at the wrong time'' because it's not about that. I am good at mimicking NT behaviour, and I observe NT behaviour every day, and I know what's right and what's wrong. I'm not sure if it all just depends on how popular you are, but it just seems so unfair how NTs can get away with being rude ot nasty to us but we're never allowed to rude or nasty to anyone else without us being considered ''the problem''.
Here's some examples:-
An Aspie girl learns it is inappropriate to stare at other people and so she doesn't do it, she only glances up at people to see who they are then looks away and carries on going about her business. But she catches people staring at her quite often, even though she knows full well that she doesn't go out looking unusual or acting in any notable way that is considered noticable and weird. So she learns that staring at other people is inappropriate, but other people staring at her is totally appropriate, and so this damage her self-esteem and gets her into a state and makes herself feel hated.
Another scenario is, an Aspie boy has learnt never to accidentally insult people by giving their honest opinion on their behaviour or looks, but he gets NTs criticising him non-stop about his behaviour and how he looks, so thinking it's OK for people to point out all of his quirks but him never being allowed to point out anybody else's quirks makes him feel very downhearted about himself and makes him actually believe that he's bad, causing self-esteem issues.
Anyone with me on this? There are loads of other examples like these to put down, but these are all I can think of at the moment and they actually describe the way I feel but I changed it to third person because it makes it look less like I'm just ranting on. Is this why some of us, including me, suffer with self-esteem issues?
Great post, yes, yes, yes. It's all BS about popularity, alpha types, group think, fear of being different. I have conducted a few unofficial experiments, doing or saying the same thing as someone else did, but for a different audience. Fact is, people agree with others, or laugh at a joke, not because of the content of the communication, but as an expression of their approval of them. It seems that most communication is about the "herd" mentality, and any comment made by one of the group is met with approval, and any comment made by one of the "outsiders" is met with disapproval. They can have it as far as I am concerned. Countless examples from my own experiences in life could be listed.