My parents want me to be in a group home or something

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In school I work on my independent living skills. I work on self advocacy too. It scares me to think about moving out ever. I don't think I can live independently. I want to live with my parents for a long time. However they sat me down the other day to talk about working on being more independent. They feel that I will be too old to live with them and they get worn out sometimes. They want me to live semi independently, where I get checked on every day and I get help with booking appointments and doing errands. I get scared thinking of not being around them and it causes me a lot of anxiety even though this is probably not for a year or so. I also feel embarrassed about having an aide/caretaker. People judge me for that, at school.

I don't think people will judge you about having a caretaker any more than they would about living with your parents in a few years. If you lived in a group home, you could always say that you have lots of roommates or that you live in a dorm, but living with parents is living with parents. Depends on the culture of course, but I've heard that an adult living with their parents doesn't look good in USA either.
Also, I would recommend learning basic living skills (can you cook? How well can you clean?
Can you do grocery shopping?) now rather than later; it'll make moving out easier when it's time since there won't be so many new things to learn.

That also is what is in store for me outside of living with my parents. Even though I decided on my own about a year ago that is what I am going to do, I think I would have felt the same as you if my parents had come to me with the proposal, especially if I had not considered it on my own.

But you know even "NT" adult teens experience a lot of anxiety over moving away from home.

I have periods of "cold feet" anxiety over going through with it.

I’m in the process of transitioning into a group home. It’s been mostly a positive experience so far. My advice is go slowly if you can. It’s less overwhelming that way. Also visit the group home frequently so you can have an idea of living there and if you like the staff and other residents.

I plan on spending most of my time in my room like at home so I am expecting there to not be that much of a difference. As far as being assisted by caregivers, at least they will be getting paid to do it.

Since I began my drive to independence too late, there are some things that seem out of reach now. I don't want to think about being the same person at 65 that I am at 55. I don't want to live completely alone without anyone, and the idea of being in a group home is embarrassing to me. Those thoughts depress me so much that I seriously believe I would be better off if my next home is Heaven. I am at the end of the line as far as major improvements go and any changes will not be perceptible to others.

The group homes and the day programs in cali where I used to live where degrading and awful places to live. I hated them. They took all but 100 bucks of your money so really had nothing and if you ever wanted to leave it would take them about a month to give you your disablity back so you can go rent else where. Also they treated you like a child and you didn't know anything. Everything about that time seem to focus on my lack and the label of autism not on my capabilities. Every day program and group home I lived in was staff where always more right then you no matter what. They would treat you like you where too stupid to know what is really going on. For my own mental health I had to leave those places because all they did is make me feel worse about myself then just having autism. All I ever felt like in those places is just a label and disablity.

When I was living with my mom, I was So Scared to move out too, she wanted me to go to a group home. I was very lucky, my mom let me stay home with her for 37 years. There was a time, I really really didn’t get along with her, we were fighting almost all the time, anyway, it gotten sooo bad, I moved to a hotel for two weeks, my mom helped me with the money, I learned something by being independent & have freedom, I was really truly ready to move out.

If you going get a caregiver, get one that understand Aspergers people if you have Aspergers. I have caregiver that comes once a week.

Hello. I am afraid i am unable to give you any advice from experience, as I am high functioning and never needed support to live independently.

I know a few people who do have support, who appear to be fairly happy.
I can not answer for them however.

I was wondering if you had considered the sweet water spectrum housing development.
Although that development is in CA, perhaps that is too far for you to travel to live.
Although from the pictures and reviews it does look like a well designed place with a good
ethic and understanding of autism.

Perhaps one option worth considering if you are a US national?
i am not sure if there are any restrictions, but sure looks like a place that is very autism friendly, as well
as considerate to people's individuals needs.

sweet water spectrum housing

A couple of times, I lived in really decent housing projects.

I lived in one in the Bronx that had a courtyard with lots of trees and plants. It was a very nice place. But it was a "project."

I'm 23, just finished college, and still live with my parents, and probably will continue to do so for the next few years at least. Most of the people at my college who I told about living at home were more jealous of me than anything else, since most of them were living in s****y dorms. My independence is coming more slowly than most, but it is slowly happening and I hope to one day be completely independent. I have a job lined up and am waiting to be given a start date.

There are many people in the 20's still living in their parents. It's not like this is an unusual phenomenon.

Put yourself in your parents shoes. They know that someday they will be unable to care for you. They are most likely 20 years older than you and will probable die before you and they may even find something like Alzheimers before then. So they want to make sure that you are taken care of properly. So they are doing something that many people do, they try to devise plans to cover that contingency. It doesn't mean that this will happen tomorrow but more likely in the far distant future.

I attended an Autism seminar last year. One of the booths outside the seminar was a person who does estate planning. Some parents were trying to figure out how to pass down their estates to their child who was autistic. And he was the go to guy. It was his specialty.

I learned to be independent when I was young. When I reached my late teens I became financially independent. It started small with part time jobs after school and then full time jobs during the summer. And before I knew it I was able to make the transition to independence. So if you put your focus on financially becoming independent, then another option other than a group home might materialize.