Page 1 of 2 [ 30 posts ]  Go to page 1, 2  Next

Sethno
Veteran
Veteran

User avatar

Joined: 23 Nov 2012
Gender: Male
Posts: 1,077
Location: computer or tablet

09 Aug 2019, 4:28 am

It happened again.

The other day I posted here about someone who, hearing I'm on the spectrum, said "I have a relative who says autism is being over-diagnosed."

Yeah, so helpful and understanding.

Today, someone else asked me "Just what does 'autism' mean?"

I explained to them the bad neuro-wiring, the bad effect it has on natural "mechanisms" involved in socially connecting, overall communication, how it messes with sensory input and can lead to being easily fatigued...

The response was "Oh. Well, I guess we're all a little autistic".

I asked "So we're also all blind?"

The reply? "Yes."

These people who try to water everything down and...I don't know...smooth out human differences...

We're all blind? I'm sure blind people would appreciate someone being so understanding of their needs and circumstances.

I sort of clammed up when they said "Yes" because obviously this person just doesn't get it that there ARE disabilities and that they DO have impact, sometimes SERIOUS impact on someone's life.

Just like with the other day and the "over-diagnosed" comment, I'm not sure how to deal with people like this.

Again, any suggestions?


_________________
AQ 31
Your Aspie score: 100 of 200 / Your neurotypical (non-autistic) score: 101 of 200
You seem to have both Aspie and neurotypical traits

What would these results mean? Been told here I must be a "half pint".


magz
Forum Moderator
Forum Moderator

User avatar

Joined: 1 Jun 2017
Age: 36
Gender: Female
Posts: 9,666
Location: Poland

09 Aug 2019, 4:36 am

"Autism might be overdiagnosed in infants. In adults it's underdiagnosed" - a scripted answer to the overdiagnose text.

The answer to your question about blindness is so absurd that I couldn't respond to it, too.


_________________
Let's not confuse being normal with being mentally healthy.


Last edited by magz on 09 Aug 2019, 4:55 am, edited 1 time in total.

HighLlama
Veteran
Veteran

User avatar

Joined: 12 Apr 2015
Age: 37
Gender: Male
Posts: 4,462

09 Aug 2019, 4:43 am

Sethno wrote:
Again, any suggestions?


I think the problem is somehow finding a way around the fact that NTs tend to speak indirectly. Everything has to have a hidden meaning. If I talk about what's hard in my life, they tend to think I'm saying my life is harder than theirs. I can never mean simply what I am saying. I would guess this is partly what they're hearing when you say you have autism. And since autism, in their minds, is going to be defined solely as a negative thing, they probably think you are trying to complain instead of trying to explain yourself. So they want to make you feel better, even though that's not what you're looking for. Maybe it would help to start by describing your difficulties (i.e. sensory issues) first, and explaining them as part of autism last? So many people think they know what ASD is, even though they don't, that opening with terms like "autistic" or "on the spectrum" can be counterproductive.

Of course, someone who thinks we're all a little blind is a moron.


_________________
Unofficially human.


magz
Forum Moderator
Forum Moderator

User avatar

Joined: 1 Jun 2017
Age: 36
Gender: Female
Posts: 9,666
Location: Poland

09 Aug 2019, 5:14 am

HighLlama wrote:
So many people think they know what ASD is, even though they don't, that opening with terms like "autistic" or "on the spectrum" can be counterproductive.

Yes, I found it more productive to inform people on separate traits, like:
I have very undivided focus, one thing at a time.
Slow down, I'm getting overwhelmed, yes, I get overwhelmed very easily.
Bright light and noise bother me a lot, can we get somewhere quieter (turn off TV, etc.)?
I need to write it down and set an alarm or I'll forget it, really.
I feel really bad in crowded places.
Meeting new people makes me anxious.
Stop talking to me right now, I need to be alone! - the last one can be sort of agressive but it's a way to defend my ground.

It's true that most people do experience some of such issues to some degree. It's not us vs them, it's about getting what you need.


_________________
Let's not confuse being normal with being mentally healthy.


BTDT
Veteran
Veteran

User avatar

Joined: 26 Jul 2010
Age: 57
Gender: Female
Posts: 6,620

09 Aug 2019, 5:45 am

NTs, unless they are really smart, have difficulty understanding autism.

Most disorders can be viewed as a collection of differences. If you spot enough differences you can extrapolate and assume that all the differences, or at least most of them, are present. Down's syndrome is like that.
But not autism. There is always someone here who will say that they have autism but not the difference (from NT) you just mentioned.



Sethno
Veteran
Veteran

User avatar

Joined: 23 Nov 2012
Gender: Male
Posts: 1,077
Location: computer or tablet

17 Aug 2019, 5:10 pm

I'm tempted to copy and paste this thread into a word processor, print it out, and give them a copy.



Mountain Goat
Veteran
Veteran

User avatar

Joined: 13 May 2019
Gender: Male
Posts: 10,454
Location: Wales,UK Relationship: Single Interests: Trains AgeGroup: 40's FavouriteColor: Green Music: CyndiLauper Pets: Cats and Ducks

17 Aug 2019, 5:46 pm

This is something I am struggling with. I don't know if I am autistic or an NT. I have traits... I have a few issues. But where I stand I just don't know.
I tried to explain what I mean by a partial shutdown to my cousins eldest who works in the same place as I am (I currently have a part time temporary job) and he says "I have shutdowns" but then goes onto describe something which is not a shutdown and no where near what I get, and when I try to describe it, he says "I know what you mean" when he does not have a clue. What he is describing is what I call mind blank... Yes. I get them if very nurvous, but they are not shutdowns as I can reverse my mind out of them or I can think of something else. Is not the same. (Well... Not the same or anywhere near what I call a shutdown. I am not so concerned about mindblank when nurvous other then I can't get the information I want accross to the person I am speaking to).
Shutdowns have a panicky feeling with them if I go into them deep as I lose my ability to see and hear. Ooh... I want to start a thread as I have triggered off some thoughts...


_________________
Awaiting asessment. Neurodiverse 173/200. Neurotypical 21/200. Empathy 11/80. AQ 39.
Shutdown link: --》 Music I love: --》
Shutdown Experience similar to mine: --》


HighLlama
Veteran
Veteran

User avatar

Joined: 12 Apr 2015
Age: 37
Gender: Male
Posts: 4,462

18 Aug 2019, 7:45 am

Mountain Goat wrote:
This is something I am struggling with. I don't know if I am autistic or an NT. I have traits... I have a few issues. But where I stand I just don't know.
I tried to explain what I mean by a partial shutdown to my cousins eldest who works in the same place as I am (I currently have a part time temporary job) and he says "I have shutdowns" but then goes onto describe something which is not a shutdown and no where near what I get, and when I try to describe it, he says "I know what you mean" when he does not have a clue. What he is describing is what I call mind blank... Yes. I get them if very nurvous, but they are not shutdowns as I can reverse my mind out of them or I can think of something else. Is not the same. (Well... Not the same or anywhere near what I call a shutdown. I am not so concerned about mindblank when nurvous other then I can't get the information I want accross to the person I am speaking to).
Shutdowns have a panicky feeling with them if I go into them deep as I lose my ability to see and hear. Ooh... I want to start a thread as I have triggered off some thoughts...


I've had similar interactions with people and it's so frustrating. I've talked about sensory overload with a friend who says he has the same problem. I suppose, technically, it is something of an overload that's he's going through, but for him an overload is more like two or three long days of work. For me, that's like 2-3 hours. He is also very social and clearly neurotypical, whereas when I say sensory overload I mean going into a grocery store and feeling the muscles in my body tighten from the light and noise--a concept which I think would be totally alien to him.

I feel like neurotypicals do not infer very easily. They know what senses are, and they know what overload means, yet they don't imagine an overload of sensory experience. They think it's a euphemism for being tired, or something. As if anyone would find it unusually notable to say they get tired.


_________________
Unofficially human.


League_Girl
Veteran
Veteran

User avatar

Joined: 4 Feb 2010
Gender: Female
Posts: 25,797
Location: Pacific Northwest

18 Aug 2019, 7:56 am

That we are all blind makes me think you were dealing with a troll because that answer is so ridiculous.


_________________
Son: Diagnosed w/anxiety and ADHD. Also academic delayed.

Daughter: NT, no diagnoses.


Mountain Goat
Veteran
Veteran

User avatar

Joined: 13 May 2019
Gender: Male
Posts: 10,454
Location: Wales,UK Relationship: Single Interests: Trains AgeGroup: 40's FavouriteColor: Green Music: CyndiLauper Pets: Cats and Ducks

18 Aug 2019, 12:56 pm

League_Girl wrote:
That we are all blind makes me think you were dealing with a troll because that answer is so ridiculous.


None of us see too well with our eyes closed.

My humour..


_________________
Awaiting asessment. Neurodiverse 173/200. Neurotypical 21/200. Empathy 11/80. AQ 39.
Shutdown link: --》 Music I love: --》
Shutdown Experience similar to mine: --》


Prometheus18
Veteran
Veteran

User avatar

Joined: 18 Aug 2018
Age: 25
Gender: Male
Posts: 2,866

18 Aug 2019, 1:07 pm

The remark about blindness is ridiculous.

I do agree that autism is overdiagnosed, though.



Mountain Goat
Veteran
Veteran

User avatar

Joined: 13 May 2019
Gender: Male
Posts: 10,454
Location: Wales,UK Relationship: Single Interests: Trains AgeGroup: 40's FavouriteColor: Green Music: CyndiLauper Pets: Cats and Ducks

18 Aug 2019, 2:49 pm

Is difficult to tell if it is overdiagnosed or not. Many people are probably struggling through unaware of what is going on. Can you imagine going through life not knowing why?


_________________
Awaiting asessment. Neurodiverse 173/200. Neurotypical 21/200. Empathy 11/80. AQ 39.
Shutdown link: --》 Music I love: --》
Shutdown Experience similar to mine: --》


QFT
Veteran
Veteran

Joined: 27 Jun 2019
Age: 41
Gender: Male
Posts: 1,926

18 Aug 2019, 2:55 pm

Sethno wrote:
I asked "So we're also all blind?"

The reply? "Yes."


Actually I agree with this! If you go by the eye chart, the 20/20 is not the perfect vision: the 20/10 is. So the vast majority of people have vision slightly imperfect. But then we can go a bit further and say that 20/10 is not a perfect vision either: they simply didn't bother including 20/5 since too few people would qualify for it. Now, having imperfect vision is a mild version of being blind. After all if your vision is worse than 20/200 then you are legally blind. So if you put "worse than 20/200" and "better than 20/10" on the same spectrum, then yes we are all blind.

And with autism it is the same concept. Back in the 60-s the people that are Asperger today would have been considered to be NT. And, conversely, if you take someone who is considered NT today, but is an introvert, maybe that person will be an aspie in one of the new manuals. Who knows. So yes its all relative.

A very good way of illustrating this point is AQ test ( https://psychology-tools.com/test/autis ... m-quotient ), where everyone has some AQ, just some people have higher than others



Mountain Goat
Veteran
Veteran

User avatar

Joined: 13 May 2019
Gender: Male
Posts: 10,454
Location: Wales,UK Relationship: Single Interests: Trains AgeGroup: 40's FavouriteColor: Green Music: CyndiLauper Pets: Cats and Ducks

18 Aug 2019, 3:30 pm

I have tried that test. I had a score of 41? (It may have been 43). I don't think that can be right or I would have been discovered a long time ago. I actually did it twice as I first took it a few years ago when I had an aspie GF and she said to take it, and I put "No" for quite a few questions I disn't understand the meanings to, and I ended up with being right on the boarderline... And then just before i joined this site I didn't realize I had been given the same link so I did it again, but this time I knew what some of the words meant. I realized at the end of the test that it was the same test as the score was out if 50.
Why I ask if it is a real indication rather then a guide is I scored much higher then I expected. I believe I should be closer to just inside the boarder of being on the spectrum with traits...
I have not done any more tests and don't want to do that test again as I don't want my mind to get used to tests before I am assessed. I want an accurate reading about me as I can get when I am assessed.


_________________
Awaiting asessment. Neurodiverse 173/200. Neurotypical 21/200. Empathy 11/80. AQ 39.
Shutdown link: --》 Music I love: --》
Shutdown Experience similar to mine: --》


Jon81
Raven
Raven

Joined: 4 Jul 2018
Age: 40
Gender: Male
Posts: 121
Location: Sweden

19 Aug 2019, 4:21 am

I don't have a diagnosis and I don't consider myself ND at all, even though a lot of things are pointing that way. I can easily understand what you mean because it's the same thing when you try to explain to other parents how your autistic child is different. They just don't get it at all.

Typical conversations go like:
- He's very difficult to handle outdoors because he's unaware of dangers and comes across as totally deaf when you try to call on him.
- Yes, it's the same thing with my children, they just refuse to listen and scream no.

8O

They can't comprehend the challenges at all because their idea of being shy, tired of people, anxious etc is not on the same level at all. I sometimes wonder how these people would be able to cope if they were given the same challenges. One thing I can give them is how extremely annoying it is with NT children and their conversations :lol:


_________________
Din Aspie poäng: 102 av 200
Din neurotypiska (icke-autistiska) poäng: 108 av 200
Du verkar ha både Aspie och neurotypiska drag


Oraq
Tufted Titmouse
Tufted Titmouse

Joined: 4 Jun 2019
Age: 66
Gender: Male
Posts: 29
Location: France

19 Aug 2019, 9:32 am

According to some theories, everyone has an autistic aspect to their personality, which may be anywhere from very weak to very strong, but even with the latter, it doesn't mean they are autistic. Using autistic as an adjective of autism, suggests otherwise, and is misleading; historically, "autistic" came first, and it is "autism" that is derived from it, and not the other way around!