Change of schedule-masking?

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It used to be that my stepdaughter took me grocery shopping on a Saturday or Sunday which I preferred . However since she's gone self employed that's changed so that it's been anything from a Monday to Wednesday .
I always agree to a day that's best suitable for my stepdaughter , so as to be as 'normal ' as I can /not inconvenience her .

Is agreeing to things so as not to inconvenience others a possible sign of masking ?

I often agree to things as an means of not inconveniencing others, but I don’t know if it is considered masking. I’m interested to hear what others think

masking is when a person conceals their social difficulties.

You don't want to admit to your daughter that you prefer a certain day due to your ASD as to not inconvenience her.

That's masking

Doesn't everybody do that though? I feel like I know lots of NTs that would do the same thing.

I don't know.

I'd guess most reasonable people think of others and try not to inconvenience them , Some NT's might have issues with schedule changes but I doubt it's because of their rigid routine , it's not anxiety inducing , it doesn't cause shutdowns or meltdowns , I'd guess it usually just pisses them off as it's an inconvenience.

For me it causes anxiety re what I should get when there's 8-9 day gap between shopping or a 5 day gap .

Ah. You are trying to get your head round masking aren't you!

Uhmmm. Best way to describe the most common masking that I do... I am an odd character by nature. I don't know if it is my body language or the things I do or what I say, but if you naturally put me in a group of people my own age I stand out a mile. Well. The first couple of years in school I would be inclined to stand or sit on my own in a corner and wait for the time I could go home. I didn't want to be involved with other children. I wanted to go back home.
Now as an adult I naturally feel I don't want to go to gatherings of people. If I have to go and I am my natural unmasked self, I noticeably stand out a mile as an adult, if I stood in the corner by myself and waited until the time came that I could go home, so as this is not acceptable behaviour for a grown man, I mask to make myself appear to fit in like everyone else. I learn how to "Act" normal by watching everyone to see how they act and copy their ways. I learn to try to speak like they do... Though certain things catch me out, so I need the additional masking to cover my weaknesses in general chit chat Further masking for me is using humour. Say something unexpected but funny to cover for my inability to do social chit chat. It works well for new people as they don't know my jokes yet. Impretend to look at them as I speak to cover the lack of eye contact.
Masking covers ones inadequecies so one does not stand out in a social setting. Masking is tiring and stressful as it feels like one is lying, and could be discovered at any minute.

I suppose it depends on what's said when accepting the deal. Could be anywhere between "yes that'll be absolutely fine" to "I'd really rather not, but you've got me over a barrel" Somewhere in the middle is "OK then." Personally I think it's always healthier to make one's feelings about things known to friends, but I've noticed people tend to put a gloss on it, and I find it hard to be as frank with them as I'd like to be, for fear of standing out as the awkward, self-interested one. That might be why I kind of like people who are habitually a little more grumpy and blunt than average. It allows me to better know where I stand, and it makes it easier for me to let it out if there's something I don't like. it bothers me to know that if I've annoyed somebody, they might never tell me. I'm sure it's the cause of a lot of the paranoia I feel about what people think of me. But I don't know any easy way of changing it.

I don't know how much of that can be called true masking and how much of it is just the NT thing where there's no real attempt to deceive because everybody's expected to sense each other's annoyance by subtle signals.

Reading the answers here ,and elsewhere , suggests to me that masking is not something that can be precisely defined.
What one person might cite as 'masking ' another might not.

I do this ALL THE TIME. I never thought this was what is termed "masking." I am still new to the autism world although have dealt with symptoms for a long time. I think I have become an expert at masking. No one notices me i.e. during shopping at Target. The lights and the noise and the people are making me freeze and yet I maintain a calm posture. I just stay in one place waiting for my mom to look through things and move on to the next time. It is super painful. But now my cousin has bought me noise cancelling headphones. They work really well. + Sunglasses.

Plenty of neurotypicals and autistics do that sometimes


Some lil dips**ts are so f*****g entitled that they act like they have a moral right to be happy at all times and if they are not happy someone must have violated their stupidass "rights"



f**k Amy Lee scheel b***h



"Everybody" means if there is one exception the whole statement is false

I’m confused. What are you so mad about?