Being overloaded

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Hi. So I have mental health problems as well as aspergers which manifests in different ways.

In the past I’ve self harmed for a variety of reasons - sometimes mental health related and sometimes autism related.

I’ve managed to get the mental health self harm under control and only ever do it if I’m psychotic but I’m finding the autistic side harder to deal with.

Basically I have no skills to deal with stress or being overstimulated/overwhelmed/overloaded. I learnt at an early age not to stim in an obvious fashion though I still have a few and I’m at a bit of a loss.

I care for my chronically ill partner and the last month or so I’ve had a lot of stress. My parents visited from England (I live in Ireland) and threw me off whack. Then I had car trouble and have had to buy a new car and on top of that I’m in the process of being discharged from the psych hospital (I’m home on leave at the minute) which is causing problems getting the right sort of support for being at home.

As a result I feel like I’m going to explode. I don’t know how to process everything and it feels like if I don’t self harm my mental health will spiral and I’ll end up in crisis and in hospital again which I cannot go through again. I’m happy where I am mentally right now. I’m stable, I’m not symptomatic and I’m doing well in that regard.

I guess what I’m asking is if anyone else goes through this or uses self harm in this way? My therapist is trying to get me seen by a specialist in Dublin as I wasn’t diagnosed until my late twenties and never had the support I needed as a child which has lead to my not being able to deal with everything.

Sorry this is so long.

I didn't self harm unless you count biting my fingers but I know this state of overload too well. I often was suicidal in that state.
What helped me the most was shutting myself alone at home for several days until I processed everything at my own speed. When I allowed myself to take my time with processing feelings, it become much less overwhelming than when I tried to shut the feelings up or cut it short. Things need to be processed, find time for it.

In general Aspies experience excessive amounts of stress. It should probably be our middle name. Unless stress can be vented it can accumulate and cause distress. Self harm, anxiety, depression and other mental health conditions are signs of distress.

I will recommend two books that you may find helpful.

The first is by David Berceli called "The Revolutionary Trauma Release Process". It teaches a method of venting stress from the core brain. It is done with rather unusual exercises that places your body in a shiver. This is the way animals vent stress. The book includes a full set of instructions with photographs that show the process.

The second is by Peter A. Levine called "In an Unspoken Voice". It teaches how the brain works and deals with stress. Our brains are like three separate elements. These are the core brain which is similar to the brain of an infant. The middle brain which produces a "fight or flight" response. And the outer brain which is commonly referred to as the social brain.