Effectively dealing with condescension from people

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Maybe based on your experience, you've found better tactics for dealing with people who insist on acting in a condescending way towards you, i.e. doing things like repeating the obvious to you in a given situation, telling you not to tell-so-and-so about such-and-such (because there's an expectation of discretion to avoid embarrassment, or losing some advantage), when these things are already very much obvious to you... and even with my impaired emotional intelligence, I have actually picked up negative signs from people in imparting this like a certain corner of the mouth smirk with narrowed eyes and head somewhat tilted forward / to the side... and the "dripping with sarcasm" tone of voice... I think in those cases, there are generally two possibilities behind why they do this:

a) They are frustrated / exasperated by your lack of street smarts, and feel that they have to "rub it in" because you may genuinely not know otherwise;
b) They sense that you probably do know, but just feel pissed off at you b/c you let them down in some way, or inadvertently embarrassed them, so now "it's payback time"

In those cases, in the past, I usually just smile and nod and say something like "I completely understand (why you'd prefer things that way), I have no problem abiding by that." But then if you feel that it's devolving into passive-aggressive bullying, there are a few counter-phrases you can use:

"Why would I do that?" ('that' being the thing they emphasize not to do). This rhetorical question is a good way of disarming the pettiness, forcing them to confront the pragmatics of the situation, and then they may either realize they're being petty and drop it with "um, I dunno, just...thought I'd mention it, that's all" OR they may up the ante and come out "well, sometimes you don't always make the most sensible judgements in situations".

"Yes. I may be eccentric, but I'm not insane (or dumb)."

Being more proactive and taking control (thus picking up on the underlying frustration of the other person): "Yes. I realize that in the past I made an error in judgement, but I'm prepared to learn from my mistakes and move on".
This is also called "taking the high road". Basically, implicitly telling the other person to drop the petty charade, as they're not doing anyone any favours.

If they push too far with the passive-aggressive charade, you can bring out "the big guns" and say something like
"Well if you insist on using a condescending manner with me, then you're actually giving me a legitimate reason to (be non-discrete / do the opposite of what they wish), because nobody wants to be spoken to that way. That's not how you win friends and influence people." Of course, only use this if you have less to lose than the other person, i.e. it's a peer at work, or you already gave notice to your boss, or you have an abusive partner or "friend" or housemate, etc. Or if you're a young male in that "volatile" 18-24 age group, make sure you say so in front of unbiased witnesses or security cameras in a public place, if you fear getting assaulted. Just a bit of wisdom from my experiences

You may be setting yourself up for frustration to expect decent behavior from most people. If someone is condescending, they have most likely made an assessment of you that holds you in low regard relative to themselves. This is not always a bad thing. To be seen as worthless is better than to be seen as a threat.

There is not going to be much of value in an exchange with someone who sees you inaccurately.

Your life may be much improved by letting those who dismiss you do so. You can then focus more time with those who are able to see you as you are.

Responding with passive-aggression always works for me.