Sitting and talking with someone face to face

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Bernie76
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06 Oct 2019, 2:17 pm

Do you feel comfortable sitting at a table and talking to someone face to face (for example a couple at a restaurant)?



WalkerTR
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06 Oct 2019, 3:29 pm

Only if the other person is introverted/aspie cos they won't be looking at me and expecting immediate responses.
Otherwise I just look down at the table.



MrsPeel
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06 Oct 2019, 9:14 pm

I can only make conversation if I'm not looking at the person, so it's easier if we're in a car or some other situation where we're not face to face.



Magna
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06 Oct 2019, 9:20 pm

No, it's not comfortable. I can talk with my wife sitting across from me because she doesn't take it personally if I don't look at her most of the time when I talk to her. Like MrsPeel, I look away when I'm talking because I have to watch my thoughts in pictures before I say the words. It's easiest for me to do with my eyes closed, actually. So often when I talk to family, I'll talk with my eyes closed. When I'm talking to other people in settings such as work, etc, I'll make excuses to look away such as pretending to have to think deeply about a question they've asked me but by doing so, I'm able to talk to them, albeit briefly, by looking away.



IsabellaLinton
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06 Oct 2019, 9:31 pm

I can't remember the last time I spoke to someone face to face, other than doctors or professionals during appointments. Normally I turn my whole body away from family and friends, start walking the other direction, go in another room within earshot while speaking, or else I stare at the ground and stim. Facing people, even without eye contact, is so hard for me that I seldom even try. It's physically uncomfortable and makes me cringe.


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EzraS
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06 Oct 2019, 10:00 pm

If you sit facing me in a restaurant I will hardly look at you and make nonverbal gesture or mono-syllable replies.



Tokatekika
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07 Oct 2019, 1:50 am

I can do it... But I'll get very hot, and get a bad tummy for the first hour or so before I calm down? 8O


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IstominFan
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07 Oct 2019, 9:03 am

If it is someone I'm comfortable with, I can speak with them well.



timf
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07 Oct 2019, 9:35 am

Almost every person can be a wealth of interesting information. A plumber, waitress, appliance delivery guy can all have accumulated observations and anecdotes that, when drawn out, can be fascinating.

It can be a bit tricky at first to learn to approach people with questions that do not sound like an interrogation.

Part of this is getting people to feel comfortable opening up. The Aspie ability to mask already contributes skills in this area. However,without genuine and sincere interest, the well of information may remain untapped or quickly dry up.



IsabellaLinton
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07 Oct 2019, 10:12 am

EzraS wrote:
If you sit facing me in a restaurant I will hardly look at you and make nonverbal gesture or mono-syllable replies.


This. But I don't like being beside people either. Tables and restaurants are torture. I need to be moving and turned away from people. I'm monosyllabic at the best of times.


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Donald Morton
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07 Oct 2019, 10:17 am

Sitting with a friend or acquaintance, yes most definitely my preference. In other situations I am not so comfortable, but it is the best way to get a "read" on a person.


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blazingstar
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08 Oct 2019, 7:06 pm

I just spent a delightful afternoon talking face to face with a Friend, but there very few with whom I am that connected.


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