I (probably) need my mommy/a shadow

Post Reply New Topic

This prospect is embarrassing. My mom was asking me about going to a church function that happens every Monday night. I can only go if someone from the church asks ME if I want a ride. I can't ask them for a ride. Yesterday, I went to church without her because she wasn't feeling up to going. When I got home, she questioned me about my behavior. I asked her today if she doesn't like the prospect of me going places without her. She says she doesn't because she doesn't trust my behavior. In other words, she not only wants to go to church for spiritual reasons, but to act as my shadow. I'm 35 years old, and having my mother act as a shadow is embarrassing. On the other hand, I can't deny that I may need one. Left to my own devices, I'll spend all day on the internet, drink too much soda, and spend much of my State Supplement Payment on eBay buying CDs, games, and Transformers. For these reasons, I don't consider my autism truly "mild." It's only "mild" because I can talk and have above-average intelligence. Should I look into institutionalizing myself?

Are you seeing anyone outpatient that might be able to help? I think that institutionalizing yourself is a bit extreme unless you are having the types of impulsive behavior that leads to a serious risk of severe injury or death.

IMO your mother got you trapped in a self-fulfilling profecy of your lack of independence. If she controls you all the time and doesn't let you make your decisions and carry their consequences, how are you supposed to learn independence?

If you consider overindulging in sugar/soda and online shopping to be "dangerous behaviors," then I'm engaged in dangerous behaviors. Otherwise, I guess institutionalization WOULD be extreme. I actually hurt my mother's feelings and implied that I don't want her going to church because I don't like her acting as a shadow. I never liked having one in school because it felt like a punishment from the start. I never liked anyone controlling me even if it was for my own good. Now I'm considering going back on the meds I went off of...or maybe looking into something else that better addresses impulse control and OCD. I'd rather be cured completely of autism, but maybe getting on the RIGHT meds will help me get the sugar consumption under control, which may, in turn, help relieve the autism.

If everyone that wasted too much $$$ and ate badly got institutionalized, that's a different economic system

Your habits are not healthful

But plenty of people have bad habits

That's true, but I feel like I have next to no willpower anymore. Is that a side-effect of going off meds or having been on them in the first place?

Lots of people out there consume too much sugar, impulsively buy things and offend someone every now and then. While unhealthy, those behaviors are within the norm of our society. Nothing to require institutionalization or any form of a shadow.